How is it possible that in today's world, we are still killing our children? By that, I don't necessarily mean abortion. Instead of aborting a fetus, parents are waiting years to rid themselves of the burden. The innocent babe is birthed and raised, growing older and more aware of its world. Then, slowly, almost imperceptibly, these precious gems are slowly crushed under the weight of the anger/fear/shame that the parents refuse to let go of. In war, we kill off part of our future when our children die. We simply cannot continue to do this. And we can no longer stand by as it occurs. We need to act.
Just this week, in LA, a man killed his 5 children, his wife and himself. The couple was in desperate financial and legal trouble. For whatever reasons, they felt the only alternative was to kill their offspring and escape their responsiblities. They had a choice, their children did not. In rural Missouri, a man raped his daughter for 5 years, impregnating her four times. Two of those children were found in coolers, another was suspected of being buried in another state, and one child is in state custody. The father had a choice. His daughters (and grandchildren) did not. What in the world is going on here?
Counter to those horrific, meaningless tragedies, a young woman, also from the LA area gave birth to only the second set of live-birth octuplets in recorded history. Turns out that she already has 6 children, lives with her parents, and we don't know a) where the father is, b) who is paying for her babies' stay in the NICU, and c) who gave her the fertility drugs in the first place? What does this tell us about our society? Does it indicate our level of collective guilt over child murder/endangerment so we let certain women give birth to a "shoe-ful" of children, then we as a society need to support them in ways over and above what we might consider reasonable? Where does the responsibility of the young woman, the father, their parents, and her doctor come into play? What in the world is going on here?
Why are we so screwed up when it comes to raising our children? Why do some children turn out "well" and other ones grow into evil, selfish, messed-up human beings? When does the cycle end? What might we need to do to be better parents to our kids? What peace do we need to make with our ghosts so that we will lead our lives with integrity? What ways can we help another and pass on the wisdom we have gained?
Now don't get me started on how we treat our elders.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
A New World? Or just the same old thing...
The King has been crowned. Now it's time to get to work. Now we'll begin to see what our new president is really all about. If he "walks the talk". How he's going to insert his influence into our daily lives, and how our leaders will influence us and the rest of the world.
The economy is out of his control. It's a lumbering ox that reacts and responds to the environment around it, and there's not alot we can do to influence that. We can muck it up with our interference, but given a chance, it rights itself and continues its cycle. Kind of like global warming... the planet is going to do what it's going to do, in cycle with the universe surrounding us. If we try to influence it, we'll muck that up too, and hurt ourselves in the process. Hey, whatever happened to just conserving resources, because it makes the resources last longer and go further? Why is there all this morality suddenly attached to using cloth bags over plastic, or turning lights off when you're not in a room? My father taught me that 30 years ago! I guess we were ahead of our time, and the rest of the world had to catch up.
But, I digress. Why has the mainstream media put Mr Obama on a pedestal? Is it because he's cool, he's hip, he's different? Heck, he could be Mr. GQ. He certainly looks different than most of the old white guys who have led our country up to this point. Is it because they want to finally assuage the collective guilt over the racial divide? Mr Obama is not the first black president we've had. He's the first BIRACIAL president we've ever had. That fact was conveniently forgotten. The black part was stressed. Isn't that kind of a slap in the face to his mother? I think that all the people who voted for him (or not) BECAUSE he's BLACK are racist. The people who didn't care what color he is, and voted for him because he represents integrity and self-responsibilty are the truly color-blind among us. If our country, and our media were truly color-blind, they wouldn't have made such a big deal about his race. He would be judged on the content of his character, not his complexion. We as a people really have a lot of work to do if we make this a pinnacle event... there are dark-skinned rulers, and even women leading countries around the world, and it's just matter of fact.
What were the multitudes of inaugural attendees thinking and hoping as they froze their patooties off? That our new king is going to pay off their house? Give them a job? Give them free health care? I hope not. They will be sorely disappointed. Nothing is free, and nothing comes without hard work. I was happy to hear him speak about self-responsibility. I was happy to hear him speak about service. In that, he echoed JFK's speech: Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country. I hope all those people heard that message. I hope they don't expect the government to bail them out, too. If we leave it up to the government to create jobs, it will create more government to oversee those jobs, and we will pay more out of our hard-earned paychecks.
I'm disgusted at the amount of money that was spent throughout the entire process, money that could have gone to other more worthy resources. But, that's now water under the bridge. I hope the mainstream media is happy now that their man is at the helm, and they can maybe do some serious, down to earth reporting of events without continually casting our new president in a messianic light. For if they persist in that, we will all be incredibly dissapointed when he lets us down, which of course he will, because Mr Obama is just a human being. He's not Jesus, he's not Elijah, he's just Barack.
Time will tell if he really is any more effective than any other president we've had.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Just for Today
Willpower. Discipline. Self-Control. In Hebrew, the term zrizus means "joyful willpower". I don't know about you, but I get mixed feelings when I hear any of those three words. Sometimes, I want to run the other way, since to buckle down and get something done is the last thing I want to do. Procrastinate! Enjoy Freedom! Have Fun!
But there are other times when I willfully, even joyfully, embrace my willpower. When I exercise control over my impulses, such as when I am working out at the gym. At my age, there are definitely days when it's the last place I want to be, but know that in order to help my body maintain peak efficiency, I need to be there. I'll be on the treadmill or the elliptical, plodding along, and notice that it's taking alot of effort to get going. Dismally, I see my remaining time is way less than halfway finished... so, summoning up my zrizus, I tell myself "one more minute" and see if I can do just one more minute. Or on a machine, can I do one more lift? Just one more... it's such a miniscule amount. But, if I keep telling myself, just one more, and do it just one more time, before I know it, I've accomplished my goal! And I really feel good about that. I might even be "in the zone!" In the Zrizus Zone!
Many self-help groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, and even Reiki practitioners use the mantra "Just for Today, I will_____" and fill in the blank with some action that is difficult to do, such as "be open" or "let go" or "not get mad at little things" or "not try to change what cannot be changed", etc. But sometimes, "Today" is too big a bite to manage, so reduce it down to "Just for this minute..." The reason is that big changes are often too difficult or too threatening, so they must be broken down into more easily digested bites. Baby steps add up over time. Think of it as "One Degree of Change", and by that I mean when you set your course, if you are off by only one degree, over time you will end up in a completely different place than you had planned.
But there are other times when I willfully, even joyfully, embrace my willpower. When I exercise control over my impulses, such as when I am working out at the gym. At my age, there are definitely days when it's the last place I want to be, but know that in order to help my body maintain peak efficiency, I need to be there. I'll be on the treadmill or the elliptical, plodding along, and notice that it's taking alot of effort to get going. Dismally, I see my remaining time is way less than halfway finished... so, summoning up my zrizus, I tell myself "one more minute" and see if I can do just one more minute. Or on a machine, can I do one more lift? Just one more... it's such a miniscule amount. But, if I keep telling myself, just one more, and do it just one more time, before I know it, I've accomplished my goal! And I really feel good about that. I might even be "in the zone!" In the Zrizus Zone!
Many self-help groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, and even Reiki practitioners use the mantra "Just for Today, I will_____" and fill in the blank with some action that is difficult to do, such as "be open" or "let go" or "not get mad at little things" or "not try to change what cannot be changed", etc. But sometimes, "Today" is too big a bite to manage, so reduce it down to "Just for this minute..." The reason is that big changes are often too difficult or too threatening, so they must be broken down into more easily digested bites. Baby steps add up over time. Think of it as "One Degree of Change", and by that I mean when you set your course, if you are off by only one degree, over time you will end up in a completely different place than you had planned.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Children-Our Legacy
OK, I admit this is a questionable photo of my son and me. DCF might want to investigate my readiness to adequately raise a child according to the rules and morals of our western culture. At the time, the bottle was a great pacifier. Notice it wasn't tipped to allow him a sip. Regardless, my son has grown into a highly responsible and highly regarded young man of 21 years old. My husband and I did something right to ensure that. We were given a blank canvas when he was born, a composite of human "clay" that was perfect, and it was up to us to fashion that "human clay" into a polite, intelligent, and vibrant person who would contribute to society.
But, how do you do that effectively when you are going through personal and marital challenges, compounded by the demands of the outside world? When you are out in the world to make a name for yourself, and also inside a marriage as you learn to get along with another person who has quirky needs, how do you deal with that pressure, all the while ensuring that your child grow into a responsible and loving individual?
I always thought that motherhood (and fatherhood) brings out the best and worst in a person. I recall one horrible week when Arthur was in the midst of the Terrible Twos. Every day had been a battle, and this child who was always happy and agreeable had transformed into a small beast that growled and stomped and tantrummed. One day, I was pushed to The Edge. The edge that some people cross where they cause harm to their child's body and soul. It scared the hell out of me. As I sat on the floor next to him, both of us crying in pain and frustration, it dawned on me that no matter how educated or rich I was, I was reduced to the barest minimum of a human being. Thank God I had the sanity and strength of self to not cross that line. It made me think twice about how lucky my upbringing was so that I could separate Arthur from his behavior, and figure out how to get us both out of that horrible place.
As children, we're supposed to honor our parents, but what does it say about parents taking care of their children? What happens when parents neglect the physical and emotional health of their children, due to personal inadequacies which prevent them from thinking straight? I read an article about a teenager whose mother has cerebral palsy and whose father has developmental disabilities, but is otherwise functional. She has managed to graduate high school, yet still is able to take care of her parents, with whom she shares an incredibly close and rich relationship. The three of them have overcome major personal difficulties, and the parents were able to raise a wonderful, giving young woman who is planning to go on to college and become a teacher.
Our children teach us to be better than we think we can be. They also remind us of our failings. We can be better human beings when we take our parenting seriously. It is imperative for us as grown-ups to prepare our progeny the best way we can, as they are our future leaders. I find that in addition to all the activities we engage in together, it's in the quiet times before bed, or eating breakfast together, where we can pass on nuggets of wisdom. It's also in the way I treat my spouse that best shows my son how to get along with another person, even if we are in conflict. We shouldn't shelter our children from the consequences of our and their actions as we interact with life around us, for these are the life lessons they will require as they become adults. Our children are not our possessions; they are on loan to us, and it's our responsibility to them to show them how to be in the world.
You can get great parents who raise bad children, and you can get bad parents whose children demonstrate remarkable resilience and develop into giving and happy adults. We can do only the best we can in the moment. We are going to do something to our kids that will result in some scar tissue within them, but that's how they grow. If your parents' behavior resulted in some wound you can't seem to recover from, seek help. You'll be a better person for it, and a better parent. Mistakes are good, that's how we learn. But own up to them, be a model for your kids, and become more of who you were put on this earth to be. That is the legacy you can pass on to your children.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Gifted Souls
I came across a beautiful quote that appeared on my facebook page today and it really spoke to me:
Gifted souls enter this world and shine. All that surround them bathe in their light and their beauty. And when they are gone, their light is missed.
Challenged souls enter, stumble and fall. They pick themselves up and fall again. Eventually, they climb to a higher tier, where more stumbling blocks await them. Their accomplishments often go unnoticed—although their stumbling is obvious to all.
But by the time they leave, new paths have been forged, obstacles leveled, and life itself has gained a new clarity for all those yet to enter.
Both are pure souls, G-dly in essence. But while the gifted shine their light from Above, the challenged meet the enemy on its own ground. Any real change in this world is only on their account.
Provided by the Chabad.org - The WEB2.0 portal for everything Jewish
We know both kinds of souls. Some of us are brilliant, and live a charmed life where our greatest wishes, hopes, and dreams seem to come true with almost no effort on our part. We shine our tremendous light on others. We are charismatic, ebullient, almost too bright but always warmly welcomed for the energy we bestow on others.
Then, there's the rest of us. We stumble through life, tripping over ourselves or each other, and hopefully learning as we go. What's sad is that more often we seem to focus on the stumbling part, rather than the goals and knowledge that we have achieved. Injured souls seem to make the most creative people, for it seems that out of their pain comes the most intense beauty. Wounded healers are these stumbling souls, who have come through their pain and through the tunnel, and can pass on their wisdom to others if they are so inclined. These are the souls who truly change the world, as they have been to the depths and have returned with great gifts.
What type of soul are you? Who in your life is one of the Gifted? Who in your life is one of the Challenged? What can you learn from them?
Gifted souls enter this world and shine. All that surround them bathe in their light and their beauty. And when they are gone, their light is missed.
Challenged souls enter, stumble and fall. They pick themselves up and fall again. Eventually, they climb to a higher tier, where more stumbling blocks await them. Their accomplishments often go unnoticed—although their stumbling is obvious to all.
But by the time they leave, new paths have been forged, obstacles leveled, and life itself has gained a new clarity for all those yet to enter.
Both are pure souls, G-dly in essence. But while the gifted shine their light from Above, the challenged meet the enemy on its own ground. Any real change in this world is only on their account.
Provided by the Chabad.org - The WEB2.0 portal for everything Jewish
We know both kinds of souls. Some of us are brilliant, and live a charmed life where our greatest wishes, hopes, and dreams seem to come true with almost no effort on our part. We shine our tremendous light on others. We are charismatic, ebullient, almost too bright but always warmly welcomed for the energy we bestow on others.
Then, there's the rest of us. We stumble through life, tripping over ourselves or each other, and hopefully learning as we go. What's sad is that more often we seem to focus on the stumbling part, rather than the goals and knowledge that we have achieved. Injured souls seem to make the most creative people, for it seems that out of their pain comes the most intense beauty. Wounded healers are these stumbling souls, who have come through their pain and through the tunnel, and can pass on their wisdom to others if they are so inclined. These are the souls who truly change the world, as they have been to the depths and have returned with great gifts.
What type of soul are you? Who in your life is one of the Gifted? Who in your life is one of the Challenged? What can you learn from them?
Private Time
How do you make time "stand still"? Our lives seem to be so busy, full of activity and experiences and relationships, that time seems to speed by. All of a sudden, a week has passed and I feel that I've left things by the wayside. My plants aren't fertilized, dust balls collect in the corners, books go unread, craft projects stay in my head.... the list is almost endless. I wonder what happens to my time, and the way I spend it. Often, my time is filled with obligations, such as work or a meeting. Dinner becomes the only time my family is together, so we make the most of it.
But, what happens in my own private time? How can I make that more meaningful, and make it feel weightier, so that I don't feel cheated, or feel that time is whizzing right by me? What choices can I make that will allow me to feel my life is more sacred, more spiritual, and less splintered?
But, what happens in my own private time? How can I make that more meaningful, and make it feel weightier, so that I don't feel cheated, or feel that time is whizzing right by me? What choices can I make that will allow me to feel my life is more sacred, more spiritual, and less splintered?
Freedom & Gratitude
Here in America, it is the 4th of July. It is our Independence Day. Many countries celebrate their own Independence Day. They are honoring the fact that whatever force that held them down is no longer controlling them and they can be free. Free to make their own decisions, however these decisions play out.
I know we in this country take our freedom for granted. We are born into it (many of us) and don't realize the true price for being able to say and do pretty much what we want, as long as we don't physically or otherwise harm another individual. I've known some people who immigrated here, and do not take our freedoms for granted at all. They worked very hard to attain citizenship, and they know what it's like to not have the power to exercise their freedom to do as they wish.
Our freedom is not free. There are many people all over the world who hate America and perhaps think of us as spoiled children, and sometimes we act that way. But, being able to express ourselves in almost infinite ways lends itself to being a bullseye for other less free people. They view our excesses and wish to condemn us, saying we are evil. When we have to defend ourselves in order to maintain our freedoms, that's when we realize that freedom costs us. For some, it costs them their lives.
This weekend, I am going to be doing the usual celebrating with cookouts and fireworks, friends, and music. But, I'll also be praying gratefully for the life I have and the endless freedoms that I enjoy. No one is standing over me, telling me what I have to wear, think, do, or say. If I get an idea in my head to do something, I can accomplish it with some hard work and I'll grow in the process. Freedom means growth and evolving, becoming more of my self. Without it, I stifle and die.
I know we in this country take our freedom for granted. We are born into it (many of us) and don't realize the true price for being able to say and do pretty much what we want, as long as we don't physically or otherwise harm another individual. I've known some people who immigrated here, and do not take our freedoms for granted at all. They worked very hard to attain citizenship, and they know what it's like to not have the power to exercise their freedom to do as they wish.
Our freedom is not free. There are many people all over the world who hate America and perhaps think of us as spoiled children, and sometimes we act that way. But, being able to express ourselves in almost infinite ways lends itself to being a bullseye for other less free people. They view our excesses and wish to condemn us, saying we are evil. When we have to defend ourselves in order to maintain our freedoms, that's when we realize that freedom costs us. For some, it costs them their lives.
This weekend, I am going to be doing the usual celebrating with cookouts and fireworks, friends, and music. But, I'll also be praying gratefully for the life I have and the endless freedoms that I enjoy. No one is standing over me, telling me what I have to wear, think, do, or say. If I get an idea in my head to do something, I can accomplish it with some hard work and I'll grow in the process. Freedom means growth and evolving, becoming more of my self. Without it, I stifle and die.
Being Grateful Despite your Expectations!
Gratefulness--what is it really?
Last night, I had to opportunity to attend a lovely outdoor concert on a gorgeous summer night. I met someone new, and reconnected with two old friends. The music was great, the company superb; indeed the entire experience leaves me with a smile. Instead of focusing on the heat, the crowd, the very slowness of our dinner arriving, causing us to miss part of the concert which all could've ended up spoiling the evening, I decided to focus on the positives.
Being grateful is all about focusing on the positive, even if there are some issues that don't meet with your expectations. Actually, having specific expectations, rather than being open to whatever happens, predisposes you to be disappointed when those expectations go unmet. Of course, it doesn't mean letting someone trample all over you. You must stick up for yourself when the situation warrants. Staying open to whatever happens, focusing on the positive, and being grateful for the entire experience causes your heart and soul to open, nurturing your growth in this universe. HaShem is there in all our moments, and for this alone, we are grateful!
Last night, I had to opportunity to attend a lovely outdoor concert on a gorgeous summer night. I met someone new, and reconnected with two old friends. The music was great, the company superb; indeed the entire experience leaves me with a smile. Instead of focusing on the heat, the crowd, the very slowness of our dinner arriving, causing us to miss part of the concert which all could've ended up spoiling the evening, I decided to focus on the positives.
Being grateful is all about focusing on the positive, even if there are some issues that don't meet with your expectations. Actually, having specific expectations, rather than being open to whatever happens, predisposes you to be disappointed when those expectations go unmet. Of course, it doesn't mean letting someone trample all over you. You must stick up for yourself when the situation warrants. Staying open to whatever happens, focusing on the positive, and being grateful for the entire experience causes your heart and soul to open, nurturing your growth in this universe. HaShem is there in all our moments, and for this alone, we are grateful!
Giving and Receiving
This week is the Jewish festival of Shavuot, when the Jewish people received the Torah from God at Mt. Sinai. It's not just that we were "given" these laws, which have become adopted by most western cultures as the way to live as human beings. But that our ancestors opened up their minds, hearts, souls to "receiving" these laws. We are given many things in life: a diagnosis, a pink slip, a good grade, a raise, a new office, an opportunity.... But, how are these various things received by us???
What do we do with what we are given? How open are we at the time they are given? Many things we earn, but some things come to us unbidden (at least consciously). When you look back on your life and focus on the gifts that have been given to you, what was your response in receiving?
What do we do with what we are given? How open are we at the time they are given? Many things we earn, but some things come to us unbidden (at least consciously). When you look back on your life and focus on the gifts that have been given to you, what was your response in receiving?
Blessings, Hebrew Style
Berachot. Barchu. Baruch. Hebrew words that connote Blessing. In Sufi, the word means having a sense of divine presence, and indeed these prayers of Thanksgiving and Praise we recite give us words to label and take notice of the divine presence that exists in every moment.
These prayers originated during the time of Ezra, created by the Rabbis who formed the synagogue. We say Berachot at all points during the day, upon awakening and dressing, before and after meals, when retiring at night, when reading from Scripture, during life's big rituals (b'nai mitzvot, betrothals, weddings, bris ceremonies and funerals), when we encounter natural phenomena, at the new moon, when escaping peril, and more personal blessings when we encounter the divine presence in our lives. There are actually 100 Berachot to be said during one's day (see The JewishEncyclopedia.com, Benedictions for the list).
Though there are many prayers that have been written for us to recite, it is often the heartfelt prayer of Thanksgiving and Praise that means the most to me. I am aware of the divine presence in my life, but it's kind of "under the radar." When a moment brings me face-to-face with the direct impact of "divine" and "normal, every day stuff" then I really take notice. Such as when I avoid a car accident, or see someone I haven't seen in a very long time, or witness a gorgeous once-in-a-lifetime sunrise or sunset.
These prayers originated during the time of Ezra, created by the Rabbis who formed the synagogue. We say Berachot at all points during the day, upon awakening and dressing, before and after meals, when retiring at night, when reading from Scripture, during life's big rituals (b'nai mitzvot, betrothals, weddings, bris ceremonies and funerals), when we encounter natural phenomena, at the new moon, when escaping peril, and more personal blessings when we encounter the divine presence in our lives. There are actually 100 Berachot to be said during one's day (see The JewishEncyclopedia.com, Benedictions for the list).
Though there are many prayers that have been written for us to recite, it is often the heartfelt prayer of Thanksgiving and Praise that means the most to me. I am aware of the divine presence in my life, but it's kind of "under the radar." When a moment brings me face-to-face with the direct impact of "divine" and "normal, every day stuff" then I really take notice. Such as when I avoid a car accident, or see someone I haven't seen in a very long time, or witness a gorgeous once-in-a-lifetime sunrise or sunset.
May Your Memory Be a Blessing
When we die, there is an expression: "May his/her memory be a blessing." What does it take for us to live a life that others will remember as a blessing? When we are gone from this earth, how will others remember us? How do we live our lives in a way that blesses the universe, HaShem, our loved ones, and ourselves?
Support through Suffering
Today I received a distressing email from a very dear friend about her young son. Their names have been on the prayer list for a long time now, so that is a good thing. Her note made me want to jump on a plane to go out to see her, but that was just a wish. There's not much I can do about the situation, other than pray for her, and her family. I felt so powerless. The nagging feeling of being not in any control of the situation by any stretch of the imagination bogged me down all afternoon. On my way home from work, I pondered the facts and my hopes, wishes and feelings, and realized I just had to let go. It's not in my hands, I just have to trust that they will get through this (and they will). I can lend her moral support and a shoulder to cry on, but being a continent away, that's about all I can do. If we lived closer, I'm not sure what more I could do other than physically be there for her...
Why is it so very, very easy for most of us to get caught up in hoping to find the solution, so that suffering is minimized and life happily goes on when things get really complicated and painful? Who are we to take on that role of savior? Who are we to feel that we are all powerful and can fix it? I kept reminding myself that God brought them to this, God will get them through this. The only thing I can do is offer my heartfelt support. I thought that even if I had alot of money and could send it to them to cover the expenses, that could somehow change the balance of our friendship and what would I really be accomplishing? We are all given our burdens to get through, and as we make our way through them, over the bumps and twists and turns, we grow stronger, and our souls grow more refined.
It's not that I welcome struggle.... but I know there is treasure to be found deep inside the pain, once I can find my way to it.
Why is it so very, very easy for most of us to get caught up in hoping to find the solution, so that suffering is minimized and life happily goes on when things get really complicated and painful? Who are we to take on that role of savior? Who are we to feel that we are all powerful and can fix it? I kept reminding myself that God brought them to this, God will get them through this. The only thing I can do is offer my heartfelt support. I thought that even if I had alot of money and could send it to them to cover the expenses, that could somehow change the balance of our friendship and what would I really be accomplishing? We are all given our burdens to get through, and as we make our way through them, over the bumps and twists and turns, we grow stronger, and our souls grow more refined.
It's not that I welcome struggle.... but I know there is treasure to be found deep inside the pain, once I can find my way to it.
Your New Beginning
Rabbi Nachman's Outpouring of the Soul translated by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan is one of my favorite little books to grab when I need a lift and some reassurance. It's like a pocket book for the soul. I can tuck it into my tote bag when I go to work, open it up to any page, and find solace and serenity in R. Nachman's thoughts and ideas. Today, I opened to #45, A New Beginning:
"When meditating before God it is good to say, "Today I am beginning to attach myself to You." Whenever you meditate you should make a new beginning. Every continued practice depends strongly on its beginning. Even the philosophers say that no matter what one does, the beginning counts for half (italics mine). Therefore, no matter what, one should always make a new beginning. If one's previous devotion was good, now it will be better. If it was not good, what better reason is there to make a new beginning?"
Though the book is about meditation and communicating with God, if your worldview is that all is connected and one with God, then all of your life is like a meditation. New Beginnings are full of promise, hope and faith. Promise in the future that good will come of this; hope that all will go well; and faith that no matter what, God will provide the strength to get through any struggles and challenges. If each day can be a commitment to a new beginning, you are halfway there! Intention, Kavannah, is half the battle towards making a new beginning. Your actions follow your thoughts, and how you perceive something can change, hence you can change your actions towards your self and others in your life.
When I was a counselor, I helped my clients find their "One Degree of Change." Like a ship's compass, if you are one degree off course, over time you will end up in a different place. One small degree can have huge consequences! So it is with change: change one small part of your thought towards a situation and act differently than you have been. Over time, see what happens. The first step is your New Beginning.
"When meditating before God it is good to say, "Today I am beginning to attach myself to You." Whenever you meditate you should make a new beginning. Every continued practice depends strongly on its beginning. Even the philosophers say that no matter what one does, the beginning counts for half (italics mine). Therefore, no matter what, one should always make a new beginning. If one's previous devotion was good, now it will be better. If it was not good, what better reason is there to make a new beginning?"
Though the book is about meditation and communicating with God, if your worldview is that all is connected and one with God, then all of your life is like a meditation. New Beginnings are full of promise, hope and faith. Promise in the future that good will come of this; hope that all will go well; and faith that no matter what, God will provide the strength to get through any struggles and challenges. If each day can be a commitment to a new beginning, you are halfway there! Intention, Kavannah, is half the battle towards making a new beginning. Your actions follow your thoughts, and how you perceive something can change, hence you can change your actions towards your self and others in your life.
When I was a counselor, I helped my clients find their "One Degree of Change." Like a ship's compass, if you are one degree off course, over time you will end up in a different place. One small degree can have huge consequences! So it is with change: change one small part of your thought towards a situation and act differently than you have been. Over time, see what happens. The first step is your New Beginning.
Honor your Parents
In the Torah, we are commanded to respect our parents: "Your mother and father shall you revere and my Sabbaths shall you keep. I am HaShem your God" Vayikra 19:3. The Baal HaTurim quoting from the Talmud also says "Three partners create each person--father, mother and God." A lack of respect for one partner could mean a lack of respect for God. Honoring one's parents also teaches one how to honor God.
There are responsibilities incumbent for each side: parents must treat their children with respect, and teach them how to be in the world. If your parents lacked in this part of your upbringing, due to challenges they faced, it doesn't condone their behavior, but there is still the aspect of what they taught you in how to be and act in the world. Sometimes we learn how to be human in spite of our parents' behavior towards us, but most often, we learn how to relate to the world from their lessons. We all do the best we can!
There are responsibilities incumbent for each side: parents must treat their children with respect, and teach them how to be in the world. If your parents lacked in this part of your upbringing, due to challenges they faced, it doesn't condone their behavior, but there is still the aspect of what they taught you in how to be and act in the world. Sometimes we learn how to be human in spite of our parents' behavior towards us, but most often, we learn how to relate to the world from their lessons. We all do the best we can!
Nurture the Nature Within
Contemplate the natural forces of nature; air, earth, fire, and water, which when they are held in check, are aids to our lives. When they are out of control, such as hurricane force winds, or rain/snow storms or floods, or a firestorm, they cause havoc in our world. Instead of harnessing their energies for the good, their massive force is unleashed and we see just how powerless we are in their wake. The only thing we can do in these times is to figure out how we'll survive. And the magic of it is that life goes on. We get another day (most of the time).
In Genesis, it is written "The Almighty said 'Let us make adam/man in our image and likeness." (B'reishit 1:26). Many interpret this by saying that we contain all of the universe within us. If this is so, then we have all of the elemental forces of nature within us too. What happens when we keep those forces in check? We lead our lives in balance and calm, using these forces for the good. But, what happens when we are out of balance, and we let our fire burn through the normal defenses that keep it in check? We are apt to overreact, get so angry that we say things we don't mean, and leave destructive emotions in our wake. Where is the balance of the elements out of balance in your life? How can you reign them in? What help do you need from The Almighty?
In Genesis, it is written "The Almighty said 'Let us make adam/man in our image and likeness." (B'reishit 1:26). Many interpret this by saying that we contain all of the universe within us. If this is so, then we have all of the elemental forces of nature within us too. What happens when we keep those forces in check? We lead our lives in balance and calm, using these forces for the good. But, what happens when we are out of balance, and we let our fire burn through the normal defenses that keep it in check? We are apt to overreact, get so angry that we say things we don't mean, and leave destructive emotions in our wake. Where is the balance of the elements out of balance in your life? How can you reign them in? What help do you need from The Almighty?
Every Day is Sacred & Meaningful!
I recently reread a book I found some years ago, Toward a Meaningful Life: The Wisdom of the Rebbe by Menachem Mendel Schneerson, who was head of the Lubavitcher movement for over 40 years and died in the mid-1990s. The book has many practical ideas for bringing more spirituality into one's life and it really got me thinking about the many sacred moments in my day that seem to be mundane, but really aren't.
One chapter focuses on one's daily existence, and how to make it more holy. Start the day by praying, with intention (kavannah), the Jewish morning prayers.
Elohai Neshamah shenatata bi, t'hora hi. (the "i" in "bi" and "hi" rhymes with "he"): The Soul You have placed in me is pure.
OR,
Modah (fem) Modeh (masc) ani l'fanecha, melech chai v'chayyam. Thank you God for restoring my soul to me.
When you sleep, your soul travels. Just before you awaken, if you are to awaken, God places your soul back into your body. For that, be thankful! Then, before you get out of bed, reflect on making the day meaningful, scanning over the things you have scheduled and the approach you want to bring to these encounters.
At night, many people say the Shema. Shema Yisrael, Adonai Eloheynu, Adonai Echad. Hear (Listen Deeply) People of Israel, God/Adonai's Majesty is Everywhere, All United/Whole.
Some say this as "protection" from evil occuring while they sleep. As you lie in bed, before you go to sleep, reflect on the day, reviewing how you used your gifts, where you found purpose, peace, and sacredness in your encounters, and promise yourself to do even better tomorrow.
Just bringing this realization to your consciousness will do much to help you find more peace and holiness in your seemingly mundane encounters and experiences each day. It will also help you feel lighter and more joyful, no matter what might be burdening you.
One chapter focuses on one's daily existence, and how to make it more holy. Start the day by praying, with intention (kavannah), the Jewish morning prayers.
Elohai Neshamah shenatata bi, t'hora hi. (the "i" in "bi" and "hi" rhymes with "he"): The Soul You have placed in me is pure.
OR,
Modah (fem) Modeh (masc) ani l'fanecha, melech chai v'chayyam. Thank you God for restoring my soul to me.
When you sleep, your soul travels. Just before you awaken, if you are to awaken, God places your soul back into your body. For that, be thankful! Then, before you get out of bed, reflect on making the day meaningful, scanning over the things you have scheduled and the approach you want to bring to these encounters.
At night, many people say the Shema. Shema Yisrael, Adonai Eloheynu, Adonai Echad. Hear (Listen Deeply) People of Israel, God/Adonai's Majesty is Everywhere, All United/Whole.
Some say this as "protection" from evil occuring while they sleep. As you lie in bed, before you go to sleep, reflect on the day, reviewing how you used your gifts, where you found purpose, peace, and sacredness in your encounters, and promise yourself to do even better tomorrow.
Just bringing this realization to your consciousness will do much to help you find more peace and holiness in your seemingly mundane encounters and experiences each day. It will also help you feel lighter and more joyful, no matter what might be burdening you.
Harvests
This week, I learned of the deaths of 2 dear friends of my family, both Jewish, who had obviously hoped to be inscribed in the book of life for another year but sadly it didn't happen that way. They may have been in the midst of their own personal harvesting, and however far they progressed, it was far enough on this earth. Neither person was elderly, so it was somewhat unexpected, but both were dealing with physical issues that ultimately claimed their lives. We just never know when it will happen to us, and that's probably a good thing, so that we can make the choice to live each day as if it were our last.
This week, don't sweat the small stuff, make amends where possible, and promise yourself that you will always do your best, whatever that level of "best" is at the time. All times are good times, some are just more challenging than others. When it gets really difficult, take a deep breath, know that there are people out here praying for you, know that HaShem has your best interests at heart, and that your soul is undergoing growth and tempering. You are preparing yourself for even bigger and better experiences.
This week, don't sweat the small stuff, make amends where possible, and promise yourself that you will always do your best, whatever that level of "best" is at the time. All times are good times, some are just more challenging than others. When it gets really difficult, take a deep breath, know that there are people out here praying for you, know that HaShem has your best interests at heart, and that your soul is undergoing growth and tempering. You are preparing yourself for even bigger and better experiences.
Sukkot and Cycles
From Leviticus: "When you have gathered the the income of the land, you shall take for yourselves on the first day the fruit of the goodly trees, branches of palm trees, boughs of thick trees, and willows of the brook, and you shall rejoice before the Lord your God seven days. For seven days you shall dwell in huts... so that your generations will know that I made the children of Israel dwell in huts when I brought them out from the Land of Mitzrayim" (Lev. 23:33-44).
There is so much to glean in this passage! Gathering, Reaping from the growth of God's land, toil and hard work, Rejoicing, Fulfillment after hard work, remembering through the generations what our ancestors accomplished with God's help after leaving Egypt. The cycle is complete, yet still the wheel turns. Dwelling in a hut, while it is protective from the elements to an extent, is only temporary. We're not meant to live in one permanently. And they had to build these huts, as do we, every year. We have LL Bean and Eddie Bauer if we want a tent, but that's not the kind of dwelling we are permitted during Sukkhot. We need to look to Nature to provide our shelter, then apply our muscle and ingenuity to erect it--always open towards the skies. I've always loved this holiday, as it mesmerized me when I was younger. The sukkah always felt cozy, and smelled of pine branches and other green things, was always festively decorated, and it was fun to eat meals in it and pray in it. I'm not sure at that age that I felt what our ancestors experienced, but as I get older, I believe I get a glimmer of their world, if I imagine it hard enough. I can look up at the dark indigo sky at night and see the same constellations. I know what it feels like to be fulfilled after toil, and see the fruits of my labors. Humbling and uplifting, giving me pause to take stock and just bask in the golden glow of a job well done.
Most of us do not live in an agricultural community, so we miss out on the cycles of nature as they pertain to the land as its cultivated by human toil and God's blessings. We may not be able to feel just what the children of Israel felt, but we can still experience the cycle of growth in our lives by the goals we set for ourselves. We plant the seeds, we nurture their growth, and after our toil and favorable conditions, we reap what those seeds have blossomed into, and we grow in the process. Our struggles to live in this world and make something of our lives while we improve the world and hone our souls is akin to the cycle of seasons that permits the goodly trees and other growing things to do their thing.
There is so much to glean in this passage! Gathering, Reaping from the growth of God's land, toil and hard work, Rejoicing, Fulfillment after hard work, remembering through the generations what our ancestors accomplished with God's help after leaving Egypt. The cycle is complete, yet still the wheel turns. Dwelling in a hut, while it is protective from the elements to an extent, is only temporary. We're not meant to live in one permanently. And they had to build these huts, as do we, every year. We have LL Bean and Eddie Bauer if we want a tent, but that's not the kind of dwelling we are permitted during Sukkhot. We need to look to Nature to provide our shelter, then apply our muscle and ingenuity to erect it--always open towards the skies. I've always loved this holiday, as it mesmerized me when I was younger. The sukkah always felt cozy, and smelled of pine branches and other green things, was always festively decorated, and it was fun to eat meals in it and pray in it. I'm not sure at that age that I felt what our ancestors experienced, but as I get older, I believe I get a glimmer of their world, if I imagine it hard enough. I can look up at the dark indigo sky at night and see the same constellations. I know what it feels like to be fulfilled after toil, and see the fruits of my labors. Humbling and uplifting, giving me pause to take stock and just bask in the golden glow of a job well done.
Most of us do not live in an agricultural community, so we miss out on the cycles of nature as they pertain to the land as its cultivated by human toil and God's blessings. We may not be able to feel just what the children of Israel felt, but we can still experience the cycle of growth in our lives by the goals we set for ourselves. We plant the seeds, we nurture their growth, and after our toil and favorable conditions, we reap what those seeds have blossomed into, and we grow in the process. Our struggles to live in this world and make something of our lives while we improve the world and hone our souls is akin to the cycle of seasons that permits the goodly trees and other growing things to do their thing.
The Road Ahead
As you contemplate your life this time of year, and make the promise to yourself to do better, know that most of us are doing a similar reflection and rededication. Times like this are necessary in life to stop and take stock of where you are going, where you have been, and where you would like to go. Of course, all we can say with certaintude is where we have been. We don't know where we are going. We don't know where the road will take us. We don't know God's plan for us. We can set up expectations and goals and pray for certain outcomes, holding out hope that things will work out in our favor. But we just don't know where we'll end up. How often I have said that something I've experienced is so much better than I ever could have imagined. Or that never in my wildest dreams did I expect to find myself in a certain situation.
What does it take to live a life so open to any and all experiences, that we can just roll with life as it unfolds? Like a surfer on the waves, we react and respond to what comes our way, maintaining balance and calm, using whatever resources we have cultivated for this purpose. As you are contemplating your life this holiday, stop and pause and take stock of all that is good. And where you find yourself lacking, pledge to cultivate whatever seeds are necessary to encourage the growth where you need it to be a more responsive and loving human being.
What does it take to live a life so open to any and all experiences, that we can just roll with life as it unfolds? Like a surfer on the waves, we react and respond to what comes our way, maintaining balance and calm, using whatever resources we have cultivated for this purpose. As you are contemplating your life this holiday, stop and pause and take stock of all that is good. And where you find yourself lacking, pledge to cultivate whatever seeds are necessary to encourage the growth where you need it to be a more responsive and loving human being.
Forgiveness
We are moving into the "crown" of the Jewish spiritual year, the High Holidays, when we each take stock of how we hit or missed the "mark".... did we do whatever we needed to, make the right choices in the moment with the knowledge at hand, and do our best in each encounter? Or, did we make a wrong choice because we weren't in the right place emotionally or physically? HaShem forgives us, but it might be harder for humans to forgive each other. Customarily, we apologize to those we may have hurt by our actions, we attempt to make amends and make things all right with each other, and we move on and try to do better.
Where can you make amends in your life? Whom might you have hurt, either by accident or even on purpose? And where do you need forgiveness in your life? Forgiveness is a weird concept. When we are angry or hurt and feel maligned and misunderstood, or have even suffered physical or mental anguish by someone, it is almost impossible to think of forgiving the person. It might feel that you are condoning this person's actions against you. In fact, when you can come to the understanding that forgiveness frees you from the burden of this person's power over your life, it can be a huge awakening. That's why forgiveness among humans is the hardest thing to achieve.
What makes it easy for HaShem to forgive us? What kind of God-consicousness might you employ to help you move into the space of forgiveness?
Where can you make amends in your life? Whom might you have hurt, either by accident or even on purpose? And where do you need forgiveness in your life? Forgiveness is a weird concept. When we are angry or hurt and feel maligned and misunderstood, or have even suffered physical or mental anguish by someone, it is almost impossible to think of forgiving the person. It might feel that you are condoning this person's actions against you. In fact, when you can come to the understanding that forgiveness frees you from the burden of this person's power over your life, it can be a huge awakening. That's why forgiveness among humans is the hardest thing to achieve.
What makes it easy for HaShem to forgive us? What kind of God-consicousness might you employ to help you move into the space of forgiveness?
Breath of God
In the Pirke Avot (Wisdom of our Fathers), Rabbi Jacob has said:
"If you are walking lost in wonder,
empty of self, and mindful of Reality,
and suddenly you interrupt this peace to exclaim:
'How beautiful is this tree!
How magnificent this field!'
you forfeit life.
The intrusion of self
and the imposing of judgment
separates you from Reality
and snares you in the net of words.
Be still and know.
Embrace it all in silence." (III:9)
Who knew that exclaiming about an incredible sunset would have that effect? But when you look at the world as ONE unified soul, with all these pieces that are connected to each other that make up that ONE unified soul, it reminds us to be without judgment. To not get lost in our minds and thoughts and JUST BE AT ONE WITH THE ONE.
Breathe into and out the Breath of Life that infuses you with the awe-inspiring Silence of HaShem, the ultimate peace and no-thing-ness of the universe. One day as I was preparing to meditate, I inhaled and thought "breath of God" and let it commingle with my breath, and my essence, then as I exhaled, I thought "Breath of God" with the added breath of our combined energies. I later learned this is similar to the breathing practice of Rabbi Abulafia, a Kaballistic rabbi from the 1500s in Safed. Check it out, it can bring you to ecstasy if done properly.
"If you are walking lost in wonder,
empty of self, and mindful of Reality,
and suddenly you interrupt this peace to exclaim:
'How beautiful is this tree!
How magnificent this field!'
you forfeit life.
The intrusion of self
and the imposing of judgment
separates you from Reality
and snares you in the net of words.
Be still and know.
Embrace it all in silence." (III:9)
Who knew that exclaiming about an incredible sunset would have that effect? But when you look at the world as ONE unified soul, with all these pieces that are connected to each other that make up that ONE unified soul, it reminds us to be without judgment. To not get lost in our minds and thoughts and JUST BE AT ONE WITH THE ONE.
Breathe into and out the Breath of Life that infuses you with the awe-inspiring Silence of HaShem, the ultimate peace and no-thing-ness of the universe. One day as I was preparing to meditate, I inhaled and thought "breath of God" and let it commingle with my breath, and my essence, then as I exhaled, I thought "Breath of God" with the added breath of our combined energies. I later learned this is similar to the breathing practice of Rabbi Abulafia, a Kaballistic rabbi from the 1500s in Safed. Check it out, it can bring you to ecstasy if done properly.
Get Off Your Butt and Dance!
I find it too easy to get caught up in work, sitting at my desk with shoulders hunched, my back, my legs, my neck screaming for relief. I'll stretch every now and then, but at the end of the day my body feels like a contracted ball of fatigue. Every muscle is twitching with eagerness to get up and move. Exercise is sooo very important in our every day lives. Doctors and scientists are telling us the benefits of exercise as if they are just discovering this, but in fact Jewish people have known about the importance of physical movement for over thousands of years. In the second century, Rabbi Akiba taught that there are "248 postive Mitzvot in the Torah, corresponding to the number of parts of the human body. Each and every part of the body shouts to the person: 'Do a mitzvah through me; the benefit will be that we will live and you will have a long life'." (Midrash Mechilta, Ki Tetze). Rabbi Akiba was a very active man and did not spend all his time sitting at the desk studying Torah; he went out and taught and interacted with life.
Take a walk. It doesn't matter how fast you go. Feel the blood pumping through your heart, bringing that life-giving blood into every cell in your glorious body. Open your eyes and ears to the beauty around you. Let your arms swing, knifing through the breeze, creating your own power wave. If a butterfly's beating wings can effect change on the other side of the world (according to quantum physics!), imagine what your swinging arms will do. Think of all the mitzvot you can perform with your arms, legs, eyes and ears. Get out and dance!
Take a walk. It doesn't matter how fast you go. Feel the blood pumping through your heart, bringing that life-giving blood into every cell in your glorious body. Open your eyes and ears to the beauty around you. Let your arms swing, knifing through the breeze, creating your own power wave. If a butterfly's beating wings can effect change on the other side of the world (according to quantum physics!), imagine what your swinging arms will do. Think of all the mitzvot you can perform with your arms, legs, eyes and ears. Get out and dance!
Jewish Time
Abraham Joshua Heschel's book The Sabbath concisely and wisely explains the significance of the weekly celebration. One passage spoke volumes to me about why we consecrate this period of time in our busy week:
"For where shall the likeness of God be found? There is no quality that space has in common with the essence of God. There is not enough freedom on the top of the mountain; there is not enough glory in the silence of the sea. Yet the likeness of God can be found in time, which is eternity in disguise." (p.16).
Time in Judaism is marked by the holidays and festivals that reflect the seasons, cycles of return, the journey of our lives. Time is very important in Judaism. God gave us the ability to wield our powers and abilities in space, and we apply those to the work we do in the lives we lead. Time, however, is God's own domain. God blesses us when we take the time to be in God-time, and the Sabbath is one such opportunity. In this Time we pray, reflect, express gratitude, and experience some of that eternity.
"For where shall the likeness of God be found? There is no quality that space has in common with the essence of God. There is not enough freedom on the top of the mountain; there is not enough glory in the silence of the sea. Yet the likeness of God can be found in time, which is eternity in disguise." (p.16).
Time in Judaism is marked by the holidays and festivals that reflect the seasons, cycles of return, the journey of our lives. Time is very important in Judaism. God gave us the ability to wield our powers and abilities in space, and we apply those to the work we do in the lives we lead. Time, however, is God's own domain. God blesses us when we take the time to be in God-time, and the Sabbath is one such opportunity. In this Time we pray, reflect, express gratitude, and experience some of that eternity.
You ARE Good Enough!
What struck me this week in my numerous interactions is how often some people don't believe they are "_____ enough." Fill in the blank with any adjective such as "thin" "smart" "creative", or the one that hurts the most: "good". Many of my clients don't believe they are "good enough".
What does that belief about our self really mean? Whom are we measuring up to? What standard, or high expectation, do we measure our level of good-ness against? It pains me when I hear someone denigrate him or herself. Is it possible that HaShem looks upon us in sorrow when we believe that we are not "good enough"? After all, we are created in beauty. How quickly we forget how holy and "good enough" we truly are.
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What does that belief about our self really mean? Whom are we measuring up to? What standard, or high expectation, do we measure our level of good-ness against? It pains me when I hear someone denigrate him or herself. Is it possible that HaShem looks upon us in sorrow when we believe that we are not "good enough"? After all, we are created in beauty. How quickly we forget how holy and "good enough" we truly are.
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Staying Balanced in a Chaotic World
There is always going to be chaos and unrest in the world around us; it is just the way it is. We can make a choice to get caught up in the tension and the unruliness, and make ourselves "crazy". Or, we can accept the world as it is, making changes where possible, taking action where possible, but maintaining our balance in the process.
Easier said than done! That balance and calm in the eye of the storm is an elusive goal. I teach meditation and stress reduction techniques, and even I find it difficult to stay centered sometimes. When my clients are going through a rough time, how I wish I had a magic wand to wave over them to make it "all better". But, we don't live in Gan Eden anymore, and somehow, we need to make it though the travails of human living.
If you are having a rough time, see if you can get out of your own way for a moment by taking a deep breath, giving yourself a hug, and let the wave pass over you. Do that again. And one more time. The world is still there when you open your eyes, but maybe you feel a little more uplifted.... and don't forget that HaShem is with you every moment.
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Easier said than done! That balance and calm in the eye of the storm is an elusive goal. I teach meditation and stress reduction techniques, and even I find it difficult to stay centered sometimes. When my clients are going through a rough time, how I wish I had a magic wand to wave over them to make it "all better". But, we don't live in Gan Eden anymore, and somehow, we need to make it though the travails of human living.
If you are having a rough time, see if you can get out of your own way for a moment by taking a deep breath, giving yourself a hug, and let the wave pass over you. Do that again. And one more time. The world is still there when you open your eyes, but maybe you feel a little more uplifted.... and don't forget that HaShem is with you every moment.
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Blessings and Change
I was reminded this week about the power of blessings. When I create space for that energy, it multiplies exponetially. When I send out a prayer, the blessings contained within it also return to me. Perhaps that is why the ancient Jewish sages believed that people who are ill and/or struggling should also pray and not only ask HaShem for healing, but should also pray for others who are in need. The sages knew the power of blessings.
I've decided to change an attitude and a behavior... for instance, when I am driving and the person in front of me does something I might normally get peeved at, I will instead send them a blessing. It's an experiment for me.
I've decided to change an attitude and a behavior... for instance, when I am driving and the person in front of me does something I might normally get peeved at, I will instead send them a blessing. It's an experiment for me.
"Real-eyes-ing" blessings
I have been tuning into synchronicities this week. Many events are affirming the flow of my life at this point. I "real-eyes" that this is probably always occuring, but I don't always tune into it. My mind is going in 1001 different directions, or I am not in the present moment. Only when I focus and am open to what needs to come in do I see these "coincidences". I know that HaShem is communicating with me and I am listening in those moments.
I also "real-eyes" that I must live my life with integrity, compassion, and courage, for this is what cloaks my desires; and the adage of "watch what you wish for, as you will receive it" plays into the mix as well. As I was writing this the first time, my computer just froze up, which it's been doing lately. Why it did it at that moment, I don't know, but I've been able to recreate my message... which brings me to my next thought, and that is I heard from many of you regarding my "experiment" of last week. It comforts me to know I have much support on this journey!
I have permission to share an email from one of our participants in response to last week's commentary and I print it below.
Yes, always send blessings...always send out blessings and love even if you do not see results in the physical dimension. The nature of man is to receive for self alone, the nature of Hashem is the desire to Share. When we share, we become like Hashem, we are connected to Hashem and receive all the Light we need. As we all share our light with others, even bad drivers...smile..our light within shines brighter as those poisonous dark feelings are transformed to Light. This is what it means that collectively we are all sparks of light of the Messiah. As we all send out love and blessings we reveal light into the world and it is this Light that transforms the darkness in others and ourselves. It is then that our veil (made up of our impurities that separates our flesh from our soul) becomes thinner to eventually disappear and we are no longer separated from Hashem, we are ONE, we are back in the Garden of Eden where the energy is no longer tainted, it is but Pure.Perhaps that is why the first letter that begins the Torah is the letter BET, meaning Blessing.
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I also "real-eyes" that I must live my life with integrity, compassion, and courage, for this is what cloaks my desires; and the adage of "watch what you wish for, as you will receive it" plays into the mix as well. As I was writing this the first time, my computer just froze up, which it's been doing lately. Why it did it at that moment, I don't know, but I've been able to recreate my message... which brings me to my next thought, and that is I heard from many of you regarding my "experiment" of last week. It comforts me to know I have much support on this journey!
I have permission to share an email from one of our participants in response to last week's commentary and I print it below.
Yes, always send blessings...always send out blessings and love even if you do not see results in the physical dimension. The nature of man is to receive for self alone, the nature of Hashem is the desire to Share. When we share, we become like Hashem, we are connected to Hashem and receive all the Light we need. As we all share our light with others, even bad drivers...smile..our light within shines brighter as those poisonous dark feelings are transformed to Light. This is what it means that collectively we are all sparks of light of the Messiah. As we all send out love and blessings we reveal light into the world and it is this Light that transforms the darkness in others and ourselves. It is then that our veil (made up of our impurities that separates our flesh from our soul) becomes thinner to eventually disappear and we are no longer separated from Hashem, we are ONE, we are back in the Garden of Eden where the energy is no longer tainted, it is but Pure.Perhaps that is why the first letter that begins the Torah is the letter BET, meaning Blessing.
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Too Much of a Good Thing
What is "Mother Nature" up to? In the last few weeks, humans' encounters with water's most extreme forces has resulted in death and destruction all over the world.
Water is a basic element, and is part of us; we couldn't live without it. In many cultures, water is prayed to/for, and is one of the "directions" (earth, air, fire, water) in a prayer circle.
What happens when there is too much of a good thing? What happens when one element is completely out of balance with the rest? When in your life has one element been knocked out of whack and is over-controlling you? All you can focus on is the shortage or over-abundance of this one aspect and its resulting energy pull on you, and others around you. How does one stay centered when everything is falling apart? How do you balance when the rug is getting pulled out from underneath? What do you hold onto?
How you establish order out of chaos?
Water is a basic element, and is part of us; we couldn't live without it. In many cultures, water is prayed to/for, and is one of the "directions" (earth, air, fire, water) in a prayer circle.
What happens when there is too much of a good thing? What happens when one element is completely out of balance with the rest? When in your life has one element been knocked out of whack and is over-controlling you? All you can focus on is the shortage or over-abundance of this one aspect and its resulting energy pull on you, and others around you. How does one stay centered when everything is falling apart? How do you balance when the rug is getting pulled out from underneath? What do you hold onto?
How you establish order out of chaos?
Gratitude and Abundance
Gratitude. Abundance. So hard to embrace these when we're feeling overwhelmed by illness, or extreme circumstances. When I am overwhelmed, all I want to do is crawl into a hole and escape. Gratitude and abundance are the furthest things from my mind and heart. Therefore, how do you turn your face around to see the joy and beauty in the world, when you're not feeling it in your heart? What does it for you? I keep reminding myself that HaShem is always before me--Sh'viti. Even if I can't feel the fullness of abundance and joy in my heart sometimes, I can be comforted to know that I am not alone.
Listen with the EAR in your H-EAR-T
How do you know when you are getting in your own way? How do you know it's you, and not the universe that is making life difficult? What are the signals or coincidences that occur to clue you in?
For me, it's when I feel that I am spinning my wheels, or making this long, seemingly uphill climb and not seeing any signs that I am getting closer to my goal. I also get very snippy with people, and that's a big clue for me that I am not tending to my needs and probably doing too much for other people, or just doing too much and not giving myself enough rest and time out. When I start to feel like a victim and I hear myself say things that I don't say when I'm "going with the flow" then I know I need to back off.
In my counseling practice, I often see the path more clearly than my clients do, since they are often experiencing foggy vision due to their pain/fear/anger, so I have to patiently wait for their vision to clear and then help them find their answers. It's all in how we see the world and what clouds or clears our vision. It's also what we hear with the "ear" in our hearts.
For me, it's when I feel that I am spinning my wheels, or making this long, seemingly uphill climb and not seeing any signs that I am getting closer to my goal. I also get very snippy with people, and that's a big clue for me that I am not tending to my needs and probably doing too much for other people, or just doing too much and not giving myself enough rest and time out. When I start to feel like a victim and I hear myself say things that I don't say when I'm "going with the flow" then I know I need to back off.
In my counseling practice, I often see the path more clearly than my clients do, since they are often experiencing foggy vision due to their pain/fear/anger, so I have to patiently wait for their vision to clear and then help them find their answers. It's all in how we see the world and what clouds or clears our vision. It's also what we hear with the "ear" in our hearts.
Enough is Enough... but it's not over yet.
This has been a rather stressful week for me, and it seems to be centering on the fact that things that seem so close remain out of reach. The timing is just not right, the planets are not quite aligned.... Whatever it is, I am feeling like I did when I was over 9 months pregnant with my son, when the ending seemed so within reach, yet it wasn't the right time. Expectancy is high, energy is high, but it's a tense kind of energy that is jagged and not joyful. It is not even a matter of wanting to control the situation, but of realizing that no matter how hard I pray, it's just not happening in my time frame, for whatever the reasons.
Here in the northeast, we continue to be bombarded with winter, cold, wind, snow, mess... I have had ENOUGH! It has caused enough havoc in my life, and I want it to be over with! Not so, as we are about to be hit with another storm. Do I collapse in a crazy fit of hysterical laughter, totally unable to muster up the energy to keep at it? Do I give up? How much "surrendering to the flow" is enough? What happens when one is at the breaking point? When all the energy one has isn't enough?? A-ha! That is when the good stuff really happens, you know. That's the broken vessel finally letting in the light. And just when I thought I was keeping things in balance, keeping myself in balance, expending lots of energy to do that, that's when MAJOR CHAOS steps into the dance. What is the choice that you make when whatever you have been doing falls short and you are met with BIG CHANGE staring you square in the eyes, and you feel that you have no strength left?
Here in the northeast, we continue to be bombarded with winter, cold, wind, snow, mess... I have had ENOUGH! It has caused enough havoc in my life, and I want it to be over with! Not so, as we are about to be hit with another storm. Do I collapse in a crazy fit of hysterical laughter, totally unable to muster up the energy to keep at it? Do I give up? How much "surrendering to the flow" is enough? What happens when one is at the breaking point? When all the energy one has isn't enough?? A-ha! That is when the good stuff really happens, you know. That's the broken vessel finally letting in the light. And just when I thought I was keeping things in balance, keeping myself in balance, expending lots of energy to do that, that's when MAJOR CHAOS steps into the dance. What is the choice that you make when whatever you have been doing falls short and you are met with BIG CHANGE staring you square in the eyes, and you feel that you have no strength left?
Boundaries & Discernment
Purim has just passed, and Pesach is on the horizon. As with the autumn holidays, those in the spring give us plenty of chances to delve more deeply into Jewish heritage and how that affects our own growth. What can you pull from these holidays to take you through the dark and foreboding mystery, into the midst of the transitional time, and out the other side into the light and clarity? Are you where you want to be in your life, spiritually, emotionally, or in whatever way your path is taking you?
The Jewish religion and its practice are known for boundaries and discernment. How are your boundaries these days? Are you feeling strong and confident in some areas, but perhaps feel as if you're getting stepped on in other areas? Are you able to discern when you can leave your boundary more open, or when you need to pull it in tighter, depending upon the energy of the people you are spending time with?
The Jewish religion and its practice are known for boundaries and discernment. How are your boundaries these days? Are you feeling strong and confident in some areas, but perhaps feel as if you're getting stepped on in other areas? Are you able to discern when you can leave your boundary more open, or when you need to pull it in tighter, depending upon the energy of the people you are spending time with?
Surrender
Surrender. What does that mean to you? Does it mean "I give up" and you throw your hands in the air, feeling exasperated and at your wits' end? Does it mean sitting lifeless in your chair, depressed and deflated? What are you exactly giving up? The constant fight AGAINST something? The conflict of your expectations versus what is going on right in front of you? A seemingly immovable force that you can't get away from?
Surrender. What does it really mean? It means geting out of your own way. It means allowing the events to unfold, and responding to them in the best way you know how. It means that if you believe you are "losing the battle" to figure out what it is your battling against and align your energy with it. Not giving in, not condoning, but keeping yourself safe and figuring out how to work with a seemingly immovable force.
In my work, so many of my clients continue to fight against forces that refuse to change. It is often a conflictual relationship with a spouse, parent or other relative, and each person continues to play the game of the other person, falling into the same pattern of defensiveness, anger, and hurt feelings. Often, they don't see it as it is so close to their face. There is no perspective on the situation. We try to find that perspective, and figure out what one new small way of responding will help them alleviate guilt, anger, whatever. When they refuse to fall into the pattern, refuse to play the game, and do it in a small, easily managed way, it is amazing what happens over time. I call it my One Degree of Change. Imagine you set out on your journey using a compass and need to go 235 degrees. However, you proceed at 234 degrees. Over time (and distance), you will end up in a totally different place, miles away from where you had intended. When you change how you view a situation and respond in a way that is different than before, over time, things change. The people that you are in conflict with will not be such a threat, and may even start to change how they respond to you! When you refuse to "play their game" any longer, you are out of the conflict.
That is surrender.
I offer this to you, passed on by a friend:
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.>> Happy moments, praise God.>> Difficult moments, seek God.>> Quiet moments, worship God.>> Painful moments, trust God.>> Every moment, thank God.
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Surrender. What does it really mean? It means geting out of your own way. It means allowing the events to unfold, and responding to them in the best way you know how. It means that if you believe you are "losing the battle" to figure out what it is your battling against and align your energy with it. Not giving in, not condoning, but keeping yourself safe and figuring out how to work with a seemingly immovable force.
In my work, so many of my clients continue to fight against forces that refuse to change. It is often a conflictual relationship with a spouse, parent or other relative, and each person continues to play the game of the other person, falling into the same pattern of defensiveness, anger, and hurt feelings. Often, they don't see it as it is so close to their face. There is no perspective on the situation. We try to find that perspective, and figure out what one new small way of responding will help them alleviate guilt, anger, whatever. When they refuse to fall into the pattern, refuse to play the game, and do it in a small, easily managed way, it is amazing what happens over time. I call it my One Degree of Change. Imagine you set out on your journey using a compass and need to go 235 degrees. However, you proceed at 234 degrees. Over time (and distance), you will end up in a totally different place, miles away from where you had intended. When you change how you view a situation and respond in a way that is different than before, over time, things change. The people that you are in conflict with will not be such a threat, and may even start to change how they respond to you! When you refuse to "play their game" any longer, you are out of the conflict.
That is surrender.
I offer this to you, passed on by a friend:
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.>> Happy moments, praise God.>> Difficult moments, seek God.>> Quiet moments, worship God.>> Painful moments, trust God.>> Every moment, thank God.
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Mothers
As Mother's Day is this Sunday for many people, I am reflecting on my own mother, and myself as a mother. It's amazing how powerful mothers are, and their influence colors much of what we do. When mothering is nurturing and consistent, children tend to grow up with a strong sense of self, and of responsibility. When that mothering is poor, oftentimes children grow up with a skewed sense of themselves, and their place in the world.
Many of my female clients with children are raising them the opposite of how they were raised, having figured out what to do "in spite" of their own mother's poor mothering skills. It creates a sort of "Catch-22" and lots of tangled up emotions and strange behaviors. Sons of less-than-nurturing mothers have a hard time with vulnerability, and tend to mask it with bravado, substance use/abuse, and even other forms of abuse towards the women in their lives. Of course, I am generalizing here, but the bottom line is mothers wield a lot of influence.
People often compliment me on how well my son has "turned out" and I accept their compliments with the statement: I started out with great material, and facilitated his growth the best I could. I believe most mothers can say that, even if the best they could do was hampered by their own physical, mental, or emotional difficulties.
The baggage we carry around if mother was "not good" is very heavy. If your relationship was "less than perfect" and you struggle with that every day, see if you can figure out what kind of person your mom is/was, not as your mother, but as a person in her own right. She may always come up falling short of your ideal mother, but there is good in her somewhere. Maybe you can embrace some good part of her, and accept her for who she is, knowing she tried the best she could. You hold a part of her within you, and if you can view that with light and gentleness, it makes life that much easier to bear.
If you enjoy a delightful relationship with your mother, mazel tov. You are truly fortunate, and blessed.
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Many of my female clients with children are raising them the opposite of how they were raised, having figured out what to do "in spite" of their own mother's poor mothering skills. It creates a sort of "Catch-22" and lots of tangled up emotions and strange behaviors. Sons of less-than-nurturing mothers have a hard time with vulnerability, and tend to mask it with bravado, substance use/abuse, and even other forms of abuse towards the women in their lives. Of course, I am generalizing here, but the bottom line is mothers wield a lot of influence.
People often compliment me on how well my son has "turned out" and I accept their compliments with the statement: I started out with great material, and facilitated his growth the best I could. I believe most mothers can say that, even if the best they could do was hampered by their own physical, mental, or emotional difficulties.
The baggage we carry around if mother was "not good" is very heavy. If your relationship was "less than perfect" and you struggle with that every day, see if you can figure out what kind of person your mom is/was, not as your mother, but as a person in her own right. She may always come up falling short of your ideal mother, but there is good in her somewhere. Maybe you can embrace some good part of her, and accept her for who she is, knowing she tried the best she could. You hold a part of her within you, and if you can view that with light and gentleness, it makes life that much easier to bear.
If you enjoy a delightful relationship with your mother, mazel tov. You are truly fortunate, and blessed.
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We Don't Suffer Alone
This week felt like a total uphill battle for me. I finally got the message that I don't have to suffer alone, and went outside to lie down on the grass yesterday, under the bright spring sunlight, not a cloud in the blue vastness of sky. Spreading my body upon the earth, I just gave it up. Gave up all the pain, both physical and emotional, gave it up to the One Who Listens.
I know we all get in our own way often, and fortunately, nothing horrendous happened to wake me up to the fact that Adonai is always before me (and under, over, and around me)... Sh'viti.
I think I'm going to head back out there and let the birds soothe me, and the breezes purge me, and just feel lighter and more open.
I know we all get in our own way often, and fortunately, nothing horrendous happened to wake me up to the fact that Adonai is always before me (and under, over, and around me)... Sh'viti.
I think I'm going to head back out there and let the birds soothe me, and the breezes purge me, and just feel lighter and more open.
Fathers and Masculinity
This Sunday is Father's Day, and I promised I would write something about dad's, as I'd done a piece about mom's back in May. One's relationship with this authority figure can be fraught with much turmoil. Often dads are not emotional or outgoing, and it's difficult to know what they are really feeling inside. They can be men of few words, so the only feedback we may receive may feel more like criticism or judgment. Many dads work long hours and spend little time with their children; this can impede forming a close relationship, as the father can miss out on all the "little" things that are so important. It wasn't until I was well into my 30's when I made peace with the man my father is. He is an engineer, and sees the world in very precise ways. I have learned to appreciate his perspective, and also to understand how he communicates his deep love for his children. I know that I can differ in my opinions and do so without malice or bitterness, though that wasn't always the case. I often felt threatened by his "force of will".
Fathers represent the masculine aspect, or animus in Jungian terms. The outwardly projected authoritative force, strong, focused, determined, discriminating, action-oriented, competitive, etc. We've all heard about the brain studies that show that men communicate differently than women because there is less communication between brain hemispheres. I know I am generalizing here, because many of the men I know are good communicators! They see things differently than I do, but it's not better or worse. We can each learn from the other gender how to be more whole.
Fathers represent the masculine aspect, or animus in Jungian terms. The outwardly projected authoritative force, strong, focused, determined, discriminating, action-oriented, competitive, etc. We've all heard about the brain studies that show that men communicate differently than women because there is less communication between brain hemispheres. I know I am generalizing here, because many of the men I know are good communicators! They see things differently than I do, but it's not better or worse. We can each learn from the other gender how to be more whole.
Doorways
Endings and beginnings... doorways to the future and past. I'm not one to make "new year's resolutions" for I tend to pay more attention to things like the seasonal changes, or my birthday, as signposts for growth. However, any opportunity to stop and take stock of life is a good one. Standing in that doorway and looking back to see what you've learned and how you have matured is always helpful. Getting stuck there is not. But, take that in-between moment and savor it, because it is neither past nor future. The past is done, and you are greeting the future. Your future can be shaped by your past actions, certainly, but you also have the power to make other choices. To repair where it is needed, no matter how difficult a task that may be.... but, for this moment, on the cusp, just pause and enjoy the beauty of the present.
Open your heart to All That Is, and let the sensation and beauty of that wash over you. You are a perfect being, containing everything there ever was and will be.
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Open your heart to All That Is, and let the sensation and beauty of that wash over you. You are a perfect being, containing everything there ever was and will be.
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The Sacredness of Your Life
What are you thankful for? Even in the midst of pain, can you find the blessing in being alive? It is said that the Creator is breathing us into being every moment. How "yirah" (awesome) is that! That this infinite being wants us to be alive and breathing and contributing to this Creation in our own way. We usually go through each day not really thinking about it, taking for granted the fact we can go to work, prepare and eat meals, tend to our families/friends/selves, etc. It's easy to get caught up in the seemingly mundane, ordinary life we live. But, is it really all that ordinary and mundane when you think about the fact that all of Creation is being willfully breathed into Being, and if the Creator stopped willing us into being, we would be no more?
I may not say the morning blessings exactly the way they are written, but I do awaken each morning, sun streaming into my windows, glad to be alive and wondering what the day will bring. What surprises will come my way? What does the Creator need me to do, how do I need to be, to take me further on my journey towards becoming a better person? When I really pay attention and notice the miracles of life around me, I am feeling blessed and grateful that the Infinite One sees fit to continue to breathe life into me.
The one guarantee in life is death, but we never know exactly when that will occur, so how do you live each day that the Creator has willed you into being?
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I may not say the morning blessings exactly the way they are written, but I do awaken each morning, sun streaming into my windows, glad to be alive and wondering what the day will bring. What surprises will come my way? What does the Creator need me to do, how do I need to be, to take me further on my journey towards becoming a better person? When I really pay attention and notice the miracles of life around me, I am feeling blessed and grateful that the Infinite One sees fit to continue to breathe life into me.
The one guarantee in life is death, but we never know exactly when that will occur, so how do you live each day that the Creator has willed you into being?
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Oy vey.... whining and complaining
In this week's Torah portion, B'shallach, we read of the Israelites flight from Egypt. One of the things that stands out for me is the fact they complain incessantly about the heat, the walk, the lack of water, the taste of the water when they get it, the lack of food, the manna isn't good enough, on and on. We laughed about it in class, but at the heart of it, it wasn't so laughable. Sure, we as Jews have a bit of a stereotype when it comes to complaining, and there are some jokes I've heard that make fun of this facet of life. But why do we complain? Why aren't we grateful for whatever it is that is given to us?
We complain about our bodies, we complain about work, we complain about our spouses, or children, or parents, or friends. For some people who have made an art form out of it, nothing is ever right. Nothing is ever perfect, or lives up to our expectations of what it should be.
Judaism makes a big deal out of distinctions. There are many boundaries we don't cross, and many that we do. It seems to me that everything in life can't be holy, it can't be perfect, for we're not in Gan Eden anymore. So, can it be that the things we complain about are the things that haven't achieved holiness yet? Or we don't see its holiness because it's obscured by pain, or ego, or something else that clouds our vision?
Maybe the fact that my body aches when I wake up is just a fact of life in growing older. But at least I woke up (Modah ani l'fanecha). And I have another chance to make this world a better place. Our bodies are imperfect packages for our souls, but HaShem made them that way for a reason. It's a mystery to me, but that's ok.
The next time I complain, I'm also going to ask myself that whatever I'm complaining about might not have achieved its holy purpose, but eventually it will!
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We complain about our bodies, we complain about work, we complain about our spouses, or children, or parents, or friends. For some people who have made an art form out of it, nothing is ever right. Nothing is ever perfect, or lives up to our expectations of what it should be.
Judaism makes a big deal out of distinctions. There are many boundaries we don't cross, and many that we do. It seems to me that everything in life can't be holy, it can't be perfect, for we're not in Gan Eden anymore. So, can it be that the things we complain about are the things that haven't achieved holiness yet? Or we don't see its holiness because it's obscured by pain, or ego, or something else that clouds our vision?
Maybe the fact that my body aches when I wake up is just a fact of life in growing older. But at least I woke up (Modah ani l'fanecha). And I have another chance to make this world a better place. Our bodies are imperfect packages for our souls, but HaShem made them that way for a reason. It's a mystery to me, but that's ok.
The next time I complain, I'm also going to ask myself that whatever I'm complaining about might not have achieved its holy purpose, but eventually it will!
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Sing Your Own Song!
Spring is here for us in the Northern Hemisphere. I always think of this change of seasons as the most blatant, in that we are going from the "sleep" of winter into full-blown energy. Listen to the birds' songs getting louder and more prevalent in their quest to mate. See trees and other plants bursting forth with new growth. There is also spring cleaning--of our homes, and ourselves. Pesach is coming soon. All of these events constitute more energy and activity, an awakening.
Rabbi Nachman in Likkutei MoHaRaN I:282 teaches that each person can always revive and reawaken his/her spirits "by searching out and finding your positive points, collecting them together and sifting them out from the impurities within you, this is how melodies are made.... search until you find a little bit of good in yourself... and in just the same way, you must carrying on searching until you find yet another good point. If despite your desire to be happy you feel drawn down, draw strength from happier times gone by. Eventually, joy will return."
This also reminds us to thank HaShem for the blessings in our lives. It's so easy to get caught up in the negative feelings, and I love what R. Nachman says about creating melodies. Each one of us is a special, unique song that HaShem sings as we are breathed into being. Never forget that!
Rabbi Nachman in Likkutei MoHaRaN I:282 teaches that each person can always revive and reawaken his/her spirits "by searching out and finding your positive points, collecting them together and sifting them out from the impurities within you, this is how melodies are made.... search until you find a little bit of good in yourself... and in just the same way, you must carrying on searching until you find yet another good point. If despite your desire to be happy you feel drawn down, draw strength from happier times gone by. Eventually, joy will return."
This also reminds us to thank HaShem for the blessings in our lives. It's so easy to get caught up in the negative feelings, and I love what R. Nachman says about creating melodies. Each one of us is a special, unique song that HaShem sings as we are breathed into being. Never forget that!
Unity in Heart and Mind
The Baal Shem Tov, one of Judaism's greatest teachers writes, "Where your thought is, precisely where you are--all of yourself is there." When we are lost, in despair, in pain, our first thought is often of that pain, and of being fully engulfed in it. Contrastingly, when one is joyful, we are fully engulfed in our joyfulness, because of what we are thinking about our experience. How powerful our thoughts are! We have the power to overcome the negative thoughts by thinking other more positive thoughts. (obviously if a person is in dire need of medication to lessen the pain, by all means, administer it). During times of great stress to the body, spirit, or mind, it is so important to take the time to put ourselves into beautiful places, if only in our minds. Use whatever supports are at hand, whether they be people who can soothe us with massage, or singing, or laughter, or even reading to us. Play calming music, imagine places in nature that are calming, do what it takes to bring joy and light into the darkness. It is not ignoring our responsibilities to escape the pain for a little while, but instead, we are giving ourselves blessed permission to rest and recuperate, and gather our energies towards recovery.
HaShem never gives us anything more than we can handle, even if we don't always believe it at first glance. Rabbi Nachman of Breslov states that God hides in the obstacles on our journeys, and waits to be discovered.
HaShem never gives us anything more than we can handle, even if we don't always believe it at first glance. Rabbi Nachman of Breslov states that God hides in the obstacles on our journeys, and waits to be discovered.
Finding Purpose in Suffering
In Hebrew, the word for "Illness" is Makhlah. When you rearrange the Hebrew letters from this root word what results is a telling list of new words:
Kholeh - one who is ill
Khalom - dream
Lekhem - bread
Khalee - sweeten
Makheel - beginning
Khel - (apply) bulwark
Chaiyel - warrior
Melchamah - battle
Makhol - dance
Khemlah - compassion, pity
Mekheelah - forgiveness
Chalah - dough offering
Lakh - moist
Lakhem - connect
When one is ill (and here I mean when one is experiencing a time of physical, emotional and/or mental challenge), makhlah, often one has dreams about how to deal with that illness. The illness often becomes "bread" to sustain us, in that we find meaning and purpose in the obstacle that is facing us. This new information may bring "sweetness" to our lives, and often becomes the beginning for a new phase of our growth. Often in illness we need to be a warrior and face the battle by applying the bulwark of our strength (even when that comes from others prayers and compassion). We dance the dance of this new phase of our lives and often that means forgiving ourselves, or others and making peace with things. We may use our new knowledge as an offering to HaShem, being thankful for the challenges we are able to meet, and for the abundance ever-present in our lives. Illness can connect us to others, and to deeper aspects of ourselves when we allow its "moisture" to enter us and cleanse us, as we soften the places where we are too hard and unyielding. Use these words as a basis to come up with your own meanings for the challenges you may now be facing.
There is much more to this in Rabbi Gershon Winkler's book on Jewish Shamanic Healing called Magic of the Ordinary.
Kholeh - one who is ill
Khalom - dream
Lekhem - bread
Khalee - sweeten
Makheel - beginning
Khel - (apply) bulwark
Chaiyel - warrior
Melchamah - battle
Makhol - dance
Khemlah - compassion, pity
Mekheelah - forgiveness
Chalah - dough offering
Lakh - moist
Lakhem - connect
When one is ill (and here I mean when one is experiencing a time of physical, emotional and/or mental challenge), makhlah, often one has dreams about how to deal with that illness. The illness often becomes "bread" to sustain us, in that we find meaning and purpose in the obstacle that is facing us. This new information may bring "sweetness" to our lives, and often becomes the beginning for a new phase of our growth. Often in illness we need to be a warrior and face the battle by applying the bulwark of our strength (even when that comes from others prayers and compassion). We dance the dance of this new phase of our lives and often that means forgiving ourselves, or others and making peace with things. We may use our new knowledge as an offering to HaShem, being thankful for the challenges we are able to meet, and for the abundance ever-present in our lives. Illness can connect us to others, and to deeper aspects of ourselves when we allow its "moisture" to enter us and cleanse us, as we soften the places where we are too hard and unyielding. Use these words as a basis to come up with your own meanings for the challenges you may now be facing.
There is much more to this in Rabbi Gershon Winkler's book on Jewish Shamanic Healing called Magic of the Ordinary.
Chaos and Response
The past few months, I have been attending a class called "Reading the Writings" where we dissect and understand the Ketuvim, the selections at the end of the Torah. This past week, we focused on Ecclesiastes and Lamentations. Both focused on the cycle and flow of life. The ups and downs, ins and outs. It seems that no matter how much knowledge, wisdom, health, or money we may have, shift happens. Chaos is the order of the world, I always say. We can be the most healthy, wealthy, and wise, it doesn't matter, there will occur some event that reminds us we are mortal and no better than the next person.
Now, not to get depressed about all this, the message seems to be to just take each moment as it comes, and enjoy what we can in this one life we have been given. Hineni, Here am I, means to be fully present in each moment, no matter the shift going on in our life at that moment. One kind cyber-friend from this list wrote me about the line in our prayers "the lost among the living" and we know many of those people, have even been there ourselves, when we are the lost souls.... some major shift happens in our life, and we are unclear how to respond, or don't know how to respond, and walk around in a fog, or worse, treat the pain we are experiencing with an addictive behavior. When the world throws us a curve ball, how we respond makes all the difference. I am hoping each one of us can be in that Hineni moment and meet the challenge with God-given strength and find the anchor that we need.
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Now, not to get depressed about all this, the message seems to be to just take each moment as it comes, and enjoy what we can in this one life we have been given. Hineni, Here am I, means to be fully present in each moment, no matter the shift going on in our life at that moment. One kind cyber-friend from this list wrote me about the line in our prayers "the lost among the living" and we know many of those people, have even been there ourselves, when we are the lost souls.... some major shift happens in our life, and we are unclear how to respond, or don't know how to respond, and walk around in a fog, or worse, treat the pain we are experiencing with an addictive behavior. When the world throws us a curve ball, how we respond makes all the difference. I am hoping each one of us can be in that Hineni moment and meet the challenge with God-given strength and find the anchor that we need.
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Response-ability
I have a great little book that I pick up from time to time called Be Within, Stay Above more meditations from the wisdom of the Rebbe condensation and words by Tzvi Freeman, Class One Press 2000. Each page contains a gem of wisdom on an aspect of life. I would like to quote a page titled UnProphets (p. 209):
"If we were prophets or people of vision, we would see what is important and what is not, what will bear fruits and what will remain barren. But we are simple people in an age of confusion. Our lives are filled with uncertainties--anything could happen, and we have no way of telling.
"We cannot decide which mitvah is important and which will bear fruit. Neither are we expected to make our decisions that way.
"What's expected of us is to simply grab whatever G-d sends our way, and do our very best at it. What will come of it? What is its purpose? Only He needs to know."
I love this book! To grab whatever comes our way is like being on that merry-go-round, and grabbing the brass ring, open to whatever we are to learn, and to trust that we are going in the right direction. To respond in our best way. Response-ability--the act (art?) of responding ably, to not react, but apply ourselves wholeheartedly to the choice we make as the response to an event in our lives.
"If we were prophets or people of vision, we would see what is important and what is not, what will bear fruits and what will remain barren. But we are simple people in an age of confusion. Our lives are filled with uncertainties--anything could happen, and we have no way of telling.
"We cannot decide which mitvah is important and which will bear fruit. Neither are we expected to make our decisions that way.
"What's expected of us is to simply grab whatever G-d sends our way, and do our very best at it. What will come of it? What is its purpose? Only He needs to know."
I love this book! To grab whatever comes our way is like being on that merry-go-round, and grabbing the brass ring, open to whatever we are to learn, and to trust that we are going in the right direction. To respond in our best way. Response-ability--the act (art?) of responding ably, to not react, but apply ourselves wholeheartedly to the choice we make as the response to an event in our lives.
Gematria-Hebrew Numerology
I love the study of Gematria. To those of you who are unfamiliar with it, each Hebrew letter is assigned a numerical value, and when words are composed, one can add up the values of the letters to come up with new words and meanings, as well as coming up with other words that have the same value. I have some nifty books, one of which is by Benjamin Blech called The Secrets of Hebrew Words (Jason Aronson 1996). My copy has a photo on the cover of a Torah scribe with long white beard, working diligently on his scroll.
The word that stood out for me today is "Soul" or Neshamah in Hebrew. On page 130, Mr. Blech asks: "Why must the soul be sent down to earth if, as tradition teaches us, Elohai neshamah she-natata bi tehorah hi, My God, the soul you have given me is pure (this is part of the blessing said when awakening in the morning). What need has it for the long journey of life before it returns to its source?"
When this is examined using Gematria, NeShaMaH is SheMoNaH, or the number 8. This number stands for the covenent of bris, circumcision, the partnership of God and humans. God created the world in seven days, and did as much as S/He would do, then left the rest for humanity to carry out. Through this specific effort, humans would EARN their place in eternity.
The effort entails studying God's will as transmitted through MiShNaH (Oral Law), and through the MiShNaH, NeShaMaH/soul will succeed in extending God's 7 days of creation through SheMoNaH and beyond.
Quite clever, don't you think?!
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The word that stood out for me today is "Soul" or Neshamah in Hebrew. On page 130, Mr. Blech asks: "Why must the soul be sent down to earth if, as tradition teaches us, Elohai neshamah she-natata bi tehorah hi, My God, the soul you have given me is pure (this is part of the blessing said when awakening in the morning). What need has it for the long journey of life before it returns to its source?"
When this is examined using Gematria, NeShaMaH is SheMoNaH, or the number 8. This number stands for the covenent of bris, circumcision, the partnership of God and humans. God created the world in seven days, and did as much as S/He would do, then left the rest for humanity to carry out. Through this specific effort, humans would EARN their place in eternity.
The effort entails studying God's will as transmitted through MiShNaH (Oral Law), and through the MiShNaH, NeShaMaH/soul will succeed in extending God's 7 days of creation through SheMoNaH and beyond.
Quite clever, don't you think?!
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Vulnerability
My thoughts center around vulnerability. There are many times we have all felt at the bottom of the hole, at the end of our rope, believing that we have exhausted all the resources that we can think up, and we are left with no power or control. It is in that moment we feel the most vulnerable and lost, and the most in need of help. It is also hardest to reach out for help, for we feel completely disempowered and out of control. Even with a strong belief in Ha Shem or any higher power, somehow, we still aren't balanced, we are off-center.
In that most desperate of moments, if we can only remember that all of us have experienced something that has left us vulnerable, the most powerful thing we can do for ourselves is to reach out, however feebly and weakly may be our attempt, and that somehow, our small voice carries our pain into someone's heart who can reach out to help us. The most heroic thing one can do is reach out when one is in pain. At that point, rescue comes in every conceivable (and most times, inconceivable) ways.
Even in your most vulnerable, seemingly powerless state, you always have the power to reach out and say "I hurt, I need help" and allow your closed heart to open to the miracle that will most certainly come to you. Every closed door opens another door, and those passages are what makes us able to help others and further each other's growth. Take the gifts that come to you and use them to move out of the pain you are in.
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In that most desperate of moments, if we can only remember that all of us have experienced something that has left us vulnerable, the most powerful thing we can do for ourselves is to reach out, however feebly and weakly may be our attempt, and that somehow, our small voice carries our pain into someone's heart who can reach out to help us. The most heroic thing one can do is reach out when one is in pain. At that point, rescue comes in every conceivable (and most times, inconceivable) ways.
Even in your most vulnerable, seemingly powerless state, you always have the power to reach out and say "I hurt, I need help" and allow your closed heart to open to the miracle that will most certainly come to you. Every closed door opens another door, and those passages are what makes us able to help others and further each other's growth. Take the gifts that come to you and use them to move out of the pain you are in.
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It's Okay to Not Know the Answers
Imagine that you are sitting comfortably at the feet of a wise old teacher. You are amidst others who are also there to listen to the words of this sage. The wind wafts around you, carrying the sweet scent of the trees and grasses. The wise old sage speaks. It is Rabbi Yannai, one of the "fathers" in the Pirke Avot:
"It is not within our grasp to explain
the prosperity of the wicked
or the suffering of the righteous.
All we are called upon to do
is to act justly ourselves.
Reality is more complex than we would like.
If we insist upon it making sense,
we will find ourselves despairing.
Reality cannot be neatly packaged,
bound with the ribbon of morality.
Reality is greater than our ideas of good and evil;
Reality is beyond our right and wrong.
Reality is all that is, and this is often at odds
with what we imagine it should be.
Where we can stand up for justice, let us act.
Where we are confounded by Truth,
let us keep silent" (IV:19)
There is much commentary that I found online regarding the first part of this passage, which you can read at your leisure. It speaks to the fact that life isn't "fair" and chaos is the order of the world, yet we still have an obligation to carry on "justly" as if it all does make sense. Why do good people suffer, and why does it seem that some people experience more tragedy and hard times than others? It's part of the Mystery of Reality. In our own small minds, we cannot possibly grasp the answers to these "why's" but that doesn't mean we are totally powerless in our actions.
In the last section, we are commanded to act where we must to right a situation if we are able. In keeping silent, perhaps our words may not help the situation, but other actions might. I am reminded of the practice of sitting shiva, the 7-day period of mourning, when one visits the home of the deceased. It is supposed to be a time of quiet thought, to hold the sacred space with the family, to be there with heartfelt prayer, not communicating out loud until the mourner wishes to speak. Often, we are at a loss for words, and that is ok. Maybe our words wouldn't help, but our actions of reaching out silently from our hearts, with a touch, or a hug, are all the action that is necessary.
If you are wondering why your life is full of suffering, even if you can guess at the "why" and do something about it, just know that there doesn't have to be an answer, but to do what you can to reach out to improve your life (acting on the justice), and hold your self, your heart, your soul in reverent silence and prayer to bring yourself out of your despair. It's ok to not know the answers, it's ok to let it remain a mystery. It's also very ok to take care of yourself in order to regain your strength and courage.
"It is not within our grasp to explain
the prosperity of the wicked
or the suffering of the righteous.
All we are called upon to do
is to act justly ourselves.
Reality is more complex than we would like.
If we insist upon it making sense,
we will find ourselves despairing.
Reality cannot be neatly packaged,
bound with the ribbon of morality.
Reality is greater than our ideas of good and evil;
Reality is beyond our right and wrong.
Reality is all that is, and this is often at odds
with what we imagine it should be.
Where we can stand up for justice, let us act.
Where we are confounded by Truth,
let us keep silent" (IV:19)
There is much commentary that I found online regarding the first part of this passage, which you can read at your leisure. It speaks to the fact that life isn't "fair" and chaos is the order of the world, yet we still have an obligation to carry on "justly" as if it all does make sense. Why do good people suffer, and why does it seem that some people experience more tragedy and hard times than others? It's part of the Mystery of Reality. In our own small minds, we cannot possibly grasp the answers to these "why's" but that doesn't mean we are totally powerless in our actions.
In the last section, we are commanded to act where we must to right a situation if we are able. In keeping silent, perhaps our words may not help the situation, but other actions might. I am reminded of the practice of sitting shiva, the 7-day period of mourning, when one visits the home of the deceased. It is supposed to be a time of quiet thought, to hold the sacred space with the family, to be there with heartfelt prayer, not communicating out loud until the mourner wishes to speak. Often, we are at a loss for words, and that is ok. Maybe our words wouldn't help, but our actions of reaching out silently from our hearts, with a touch, or a hug, are all the action that is necessary.
If you are wondering why your life is full of suffering, even if you can guess at the "why" and do something about it, just know that there doesn't have to be an answer, but to do what you can to reach out to improve your life (acting on the justice), and hold your self, your heart, your soul in reverent silence and prayer to bring yourself out of your despair. It's ok to not know the answers, it's ok to let it remain a mystery. It's also very ok to take care of yourself in order to regain your strength and courage.
Righteousness
The Pirke Avot (Wisdom of the Fathers) is a book I turn to often in my life. The old sages had an excellent grasp of human nature, and how to rise above the all-too-human traits of jealousy, greed, anger, egotism, etc. The pithy, simple words of the rabbis' teachings are almost Zen-like. Each page is like reading the contents of a fortune cookie that advises you how to be a better person. Today, I bring you Judah ben Tema:
Be strong as a leopard,
light as an eagle,
swift as a deer,
and brave as a lion
when carrying out the tasks of righteousness. (Ch. 5, V:23)
When Ha Shem created us, S/He contained within us a piece of everything that had been created before us. So, we have the strength of the leopard, the lightness of the eagle, the swiftness of the deer, and the courage of the lion already within us, just waiting to be summoned for our use. What do each of those qualities mean to you as you carry out the tasks of righteousness today? How do they help you accomplish that goal?
Be strong as a leopard,
light as an eagle,
swift as a deer,
and brave as a lion
when carrying out the tasks of righteousness. (Ch. 5, V:23)
When Ha Shem created us, S/He contained within us a piece of everything that had been created before us. So, we have the strength of the leopard, the lightness of the eagle, the swiftness of the deer, and the courage of the lion already within us, just waiting to be summoned for our use. What do each of those qualities mean to you as you carry out the tasks of righteousness today? How do they help you accomplish that goal?
Everything Happens for a Reason
On this list, we deal with joy as well as suffering. Our prayers bring comfort to our loved ones, and we hope the fact that we are all joined in this together helps to ease their suffering. Our work is healing work, and that brings me to mention a book I have been reading about healing, called Everything Happens for a Reason by Mira Kirshenbaum. She is a psychotherapist from Massachusetts who has helped many people find the meaning in their pain and suffering. It has always been my belief that inside one's greatest pain is one's greatest gift. Perhaps you grew up with "less than ideal" parents, or in a horrible living situation. Or, you're dealing with a health crisis right now, or some other life-changing event has occurred. How we face such circumstances can make us stronger, wiser, happier, and closer to realizing our soul's true purpose in our lifetime. It reminds me of Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning and how he managed to survive and thrive during the Holocaust by finding the meaning in his suffering. Kirshenbaum's book provides many questions to ask of yourself to see which of the 10 meanings might fit your present circumstances. She asked hundreds of people many questions and discovered that their responses fell into 10 basic meanings; feeling at home in the world, self acceptance, letting go of fear, uncovering hidden talents, and living with a sense of mission are just a few of the reasons she uncovered.What it boils down to is this: you have been given the gift of a life. Don't squander or waste it. The experiences and trials that test you are there for a reason. The people or events that have been difficult in your life can teach you something very important about yourself if you open the door to them and give them a meaning for your life. Your soul is on a journey to return ever more purified and refined, and the meaning you make of your circumstances can help bring that purpose to light, to be even better and more evolved than you were before the moment when your life changed.
Meditation, Jewish Style
I love meditating to Jewish prayers. Sometimes, I pick out a word or two from the prayer to breathe to and meditate upon.
One of my favorites is the from the morning prayer, Elohai neshama shenatata-bi, t'hora hi. God, the Soul you have given me is Pure. I breathe in and out to the word for soul, neshama. The sounds all flow together, the n, the sh, the ma. I like to elongate the breath on the end of the word, so that "ma" is like "maaaaaa".
Then, I might go into the word "Shema" from Shema Yisroel, Adonai Elohenu, Adonai Echad. Listen (hear) Oh Israel, The Lord is our God, The Lord is One. Soul and God and Breath and Creation all swirling around me. I also like the word "Sh'viti" which means God is always before me.
One of my favorites is the from the morning prayer, Elohai neshama shenatata-bi, t'hora hi. God, the Soul you have given me is Pure. I breathe in and out to the word for soul, neshama. The sounds all flow together, the n, the sh, the ma. I like to elongate the breath on the end of the word, so that "ma" is like "maaaaaa".
Then, I might go into the word "Shema" from Shema Yisroel, Adonai Elohenu, Adonai Echad. Listen (hear) Oh Israel, The Lord is our God, The Lord is One. Soul and God and Breath and Creation all swirling around me. I also like the word "Sh'viti" which means God is always before me.
Hineni, Sh'viti
There are 2 Hebrew words that guide my life: Hineni and Sh'viti.
Hineni means Here am I. It's what Abraham said to God when he was preparing to offer his only son Isaac as a sacrifice as a test of his pure faith in HaShem. Hineni implies that you and HaShem are united as a force.... no expectations, no ego, be-ing in the present moment in the exact place and time you are. I say that word to myself often during the day, especially when I find myself drifting and not focusing on where I am. If you are lucky enough to remember your dreams, think about the state you are in while in a dream--you are completely focused on what is happening at the moment. What if you could live your life as you do in a dream? Completely focused, letting things unfold, taking action where appropriate, being in the flow. In the Here and Now.
Sh'viti means I put God always before me. The verse "Sh'viti Hashem l'negdi tamid" means I put Hashem in the forefront of my mind. There is a kind of mandala used by Kaballists that is meditated upon to put one in that frame of mind, to put one in the compassionate mode, if you will. Both of these words go together in my mind (and heart) because when I put God before me, I am in the present moment, coming into living with a compassionate heart for my self and others.
Hineni means Here am I. It's what Abraham said to God when he was preparing to offer his only son Isaac as a sacrifice as a test of his pure faith in HaShem. Hineni implies that you and HaShem are united as a force.... no expectations, no ego, be-ing in the present moment in the exact place and time you are. I say that word to myself often during the day, especially when I find myself drifting and not focusing on where I am. If you are lucky enough to remember your dreams, think about the state you are in while in a dream--you are completely focused on what is happening at the moment. What if you could live your life as you do in a dream? Completely focused, letting things unfold, taking action where appropriate, being in the flow. In the Here and Now.
Sh'viti means I put God always before me. The verse "Sh'viti Hashem l'negdi tamid" means I put Hashem in the forefront of my mind. There is a kind of mandala used by Kaballists that is meditated upon to put one in that frame of mind, to put one in the compassionate mode, if you will. Both of these words go together in my mind (and heart) because when I put God before me, I am in the present moment, coming into living with a compassionate heart for my self and others.
Fitting In, Breaking Free
I was reading some commentaries on this week's Torah portion, Vayigash, about Jospeh's reunification with his brothers who had sold him into slavery, and his reuniting with his father and beloved brother Benjamin. I got to pondering the story on a more soul-ful level, as in how have I enslaved myself, what beliefs am I holding onto that are keeping me "jailed", and how do I rise above them into a more full and open place within myself?
Joseph becomes a very politically powerful man, but at what cost? His power comes from outside of himself, it is bestowed on him by an even more powerful man, the Pharoah. True, Joseph brought a unique ability with him, the ability to prophecy the future in dreams, which got him noticed by Pharoah. In many ways, we encounter this every day, especially in our work. Someone outside of ourselves recognizes a gift we possess and puts it to good use; that is, we may have a job/career where we can use our God-given talents and the skills we have learned, and become powerful agents of change in our work. But, how often do we "become" our work? Do we get caught up in the perks, and the flash, and veer off our original path? For many people, who they are is defined by what they do and this might be only a piece of who they are. We are always more than we believe we are, and always more capable than we believe we are.
We need to break free of what others think about us, how we fit in, if our beliefs truly fit whom we are allowing ourselves to become. We need to open up to what God thinks about us, and believes us to be, and find the compassion and greatness that is indeed stored within.
Joseph becomes a very politically powerful man, but at what cost? His power comes from outside of himself, it is bestowed on him by an even more powerful man, the Pharoah. True, Joseph brought a unique ability with him, the ability to prophecy the future in dreams, which got him noticed by Pharoah. In many ways, we encounter this every day, especially in our work. Someone outside of ourselves recognizes a gift we possess and puts it to good use; that is, we may have a job/career where we can use our God-given talents and the skills we have learned, and become powerful agents of change in our work. But, how often do we "become" our work? Do we get caught up in the perks, and the flash, and veer off our original path? For many people, who they are is defined by what they do and this might be only a piece of who they are. We are always more than we believe we are, and always more capable than we believe we are.
We need to break free of what others think about us, how we fit in, if our beliefs truly fit whom we are allowing ourselves to become. We need to open up to what God thinks about us, and believes us to be, and find the compassion and greatness that is indeed stored within.
Saying Yes to Ayin
I met alot of stressed out people this week, rushing around, multi-tasking, looking grim-faced and pressured. Is that what our lives are about? I understand people have much on their plates, maybe too much, and perhaps some re-ordering of priorities would help. It's powerful to say NO! It seems more difficult to say NO than to say YES. If I'm ambivalent about my commitment, I tell the person I have to get back to them by a certain time (usually 24 hours).
If you are feeling stressed out, here is a wonderful meditation/breathing exercise that can relieve the stress on your body, mind, and spirit. I call it the "Ayin" breath. Ayin is the 16th letter of the Hebrew alef-bet, a vowel that looks like the letter Y, and is pronounced "ah-yeen" and if it sounds like the word "eye" that is also what it means. When you practice the Ayin breath, because Ayin is a vowel that has no sound, you will notice it is only a breath. What I like about the Ayin meditation is I take the meaning of Ayin, or eye, and after I have meditated, it helps me look at my life with "real eyes" and realize what is true for me, and what is not. It helps me know when to say No or Yes to things.
Sit comfortably and breathe normally, inhaling and exhaling through your nose. Just pay attention to the inhalation and exhalation, feeling the air coming in through your nose and into your body, exhaling any stress you may feel. Do this for a few minutes.
As you are attending to your breath, ask yourself where the breath is coming from....
who is really doing the breathing.....
who is "I'.....
keep asking "who is this "I" who is breathing?
feeling ever more empty and free....
emptying yourself of stress....
opening your heart to HaShem....
the Ayin of the breath.........
energy of the universe coming into you through your breath......
breathing in the energy of ALL......
emptying yourself.........Ayin..........
If you are feeling stressed out, here is a wonderful meditation/breathing exercise that can relieve the stress on your body, mind, and spirit. I call it the "Ayin" breath. Ayin is the 16th letter of the Hebrew alef-bet, a vowel that looks like the letter Y, and is pronounced "ah-yeen" and if it sounds like the word "eye" that is also what it means. When you practice the Ayin breath, because Ayin is a vowel that has no sound, you will notice it is only a breath. What I like about the Ayin meditation is I take the meaning of Ayin, or eye, and after I have meditated, it helps me look at my life with "real eyes" and realize what is true for me, and what is not. It helps me know when to say No or Yes to things.
Sit comfortably and breathe normally, inhaling and exhaling through your nose. Just pay attention to the inhalation and exhalation, feeling the air coming in through your nose and into your body, exhaling any stress you may feel. Do this for a few minutes.
As you are attending to your breath, ask yourself where the breath is coming from....
who is really doing the breathing.....
who is "I'.....
keep asking "who is this "I" who is breathing?
feeling ever more empty and free....
emptying yourself of stress....
opening your heart to HaShem....
the Ayin of the breath.........
energy of the universe coming into you through your breath......
breathing in the energy of ALL......
emptying yourself.........Ayin..........
Tolerance & Suffering
Those of you who have been part of the group for awhile know that I enjoy "playing" with Hebrew words. I often find inspiration and meaning when the letters are rearranged to give me other words that relate to my chosen word. This week I decided to consider the word for patience, since that is a quality I have been struggling with of late. In Hebrew, the word is "savlanut" which is derived from "savlun" (long-suffering) and "sevel" (burden/pain). The root word is made from the letters samekh, bet and lamed. The word for patience means the ability to endure a load or burden. In addition, changing the first vowel to make the word sovlanut, reforms the word into tolerance. So, not only am I "suffering" and dealing with all that goes along with that, but it seems that I need to open my heart to the tolerance of that suffering. I need to make room for that huge uncomfortable burden! What must I do to tolerate that which is already unpleasant? Such is the beauty of the language of the Torah!
We each have our way of tolerating the load we are carrying. I journal and meditate. Sometimes I drum/rattle away the excess energy that seems to get in the way of what really is bothering me so I can get to the meat of the matter. Talking helps to unburden my heart as well. Exercise also helps. There are many ways to not only make room for the burden, but to help see it more clearly, and to understand what is being asked of us in the carrying of this burden at this time in our lives.
We each have our way of tolerating the load we are carrying. I journal and meditate. Sometimes I drum/rattle away the excess energy that seems to get in the way of what really is bothering me so I can get to the meat of the matter. Talking helps to unburden my heart as well. Exercise also helps. There are many ways to not only make room for the burden, but to help see it more clearly, and to understand what is being asked of us in the carrying of this burden at this time in our lives.
Psalms & Comfort
I often turn to the Psalms when I need comfort, support, focus, and straightening out. I always find just what I need. Today, I offer you a short, straightforward, and potent Psalm, from 118, v. 5: "In distress, I've called out to God, and God answered me by setting me free."
Setting me free...... free from whatever encumbers me in my own mind and heart, so that I can soar and be more truly "me" and let my soul shine.
What encumbers you right now? What is in your control, what it not? What can be changed? What can set you free? What prayers do you offer up to God to help you recognize where you need to be freer? What does God say to you to set you free?
Meditating on clouds is a great way to feel weightless, and can help to free you from pain, whether that pain be physical or emotional. It clears your head and heart, enabling you to see your situation more clearly. Sometimes, I imagine that I am flying, soaring higher than the birds, seeing my situation using the eagle's vision. The perspective aids in helping me feel more free, and certainly strengthens me.
Setting me free...... free from whatever encumbers me in my own mind and heart, so that I can soar and be more truly "me" and let my soul shine.
What encumbers you right now? What is in your control, what it not? What can be changed? What can set you free? What prayers do you offer up to God to help you recognize where you need to be freer? What does God say to you to set you free?
Meditating on clouds is a great way to feel weightless, and can help to free you from pain, whether that pain be physical or emotional. It clears your head and heart, enabling you to see your situation more clearly. Sometimes, I imagine that I am flying, soaring higher than the birds, seeing my situation using the eagle's vision. The perspective aids in helping me feel more free, and certainly strengthens me.
Light out of Darkness
The ancient Kabbalists say "There is no light a brilliant as the light which manages to emerge from out of the darkness" (Sefer Ha'Zohar). I endeavor to keep this in mind when I am faced with obstacles and challenges. When I am in pain, physical or emotional, it's difficult to know when that pain will ebb, but knowing that there is indeed a light at the end of that dark tunnel makes the suffering a bit less demoralizing. Opening to the Divine breath as I breathe, fully opening my heart, my lungs, my body seems to open the passage even more, and the pain isn't quite so bad.
One Hundred Blessings
In Judaism, we are told to say 100 brachas (prayers) each and every day. The reason is to remember that the Creator is responsible for our lives and has a hand in everything we are. Rambam says one can recite a Bracha to express pleasure for food or drink, or just before you are to perform a mitzvah, or to give thanks, express praise, or for a request to always remember the Source of All Blessings. Check out http://www.aish.com/literacy/mitzvahs/Lively_Introduction_to_Blessings.asp for more information! Before you jump in and say the blessing, pause and consider what it is you about to offer the blessing for.... do it with intention!
I often take things for granted or complain, such as about the achiness in my body, but then need to pause and realize that at least I can move my body and am in decent health and say a bracha for that.
I often take things for granted or complain, such as about the achiness in my body, but then need to pause and realize that at least I can move my body and am in decent health and say a bracha for that.
Be Hole-y
It is so easy to be joyful when the good things come to us in our lives. But how difficult it is to find the joy in difficult situations? In Kaballah, we humans are seen as vessels of light and this light stays locked up inside of us until cracks and holes form in the vessel. What makes holes, you ask? Difficult situations break down our defenses, causing the vessel to crack. This is when our light bursts out and shines. Judaism is full of contrasts. By that, I mean that in the moments of our greatest pain and challenges, our light comes rising up and bursts open through the cracks, letting us fully realize HaShem's blessings upon us. In our pain, our true beauty and blessings can be more fully realized. That is why prayer is so important. It can help guide us through the challenges, knowing that The Creator wants us to be our most full, shining selves!
Good Heart-Thoughts
In Proverbs 23:7, it is said "As a person thinks in his heart, so he becomes."
We witness this every day in ourselves, and in other people. When the heart is open and soft, we are open, receptive, excited, approachable. When the heart is hard, we can be sullen, angry, even murderous. In times of illness and suffering, if our heart is open, we can even reduce our pain and symptoms. Our heart thinks! Our heart and mind are connected! It's mind over matter, in a way; that is how placebos work to make us feel better. It's also how we can make ourselves sick. When I was young and didn't want to go to school, I could make myself have a bad stomach ache so I could have a day off. How often does our body tell us to stay home when we need a "mental health" day, or, even more importantly, it actually causes us to fall and hurt something so that we'll slow down!
How powerful our heart and mind are when it comes to feeling good or bad. Use this knowledge to further your own healing. Pray to HaShem for the strength you need to keep on going, even when it seems you have no strength left inside you. You are not alone. Not only do we, as a group, pray for you, but The Creator accompanies you every step of your journey. Open your heart, soften it, and your "heart-thoughts" will be good.
We witness this every day in ourselves, and in other people. When the heart is open and soft, we are open, receptive, excited, approachable. When the heart is hard, we can be sullen, angry, even murderous. In times of illness and suffering, if our heart is open, we can even reduce our pain and symptoms. Our heart thinks! Our heart and mind are connected! It's mind over matter, in a way; that is how placebos work to make us feel better. It's also how we can make ourselves sick. When I was young and didn't want to go to school, I could make myself have a bad stomach ache so I could have a day off. How often does our body tell us to stay home when we need a "mental health" day, or, even more importantly, it actually causes us to fall and hurt something so that we'll slow down!
How powerful our heart and mind are when it comes to feeling good or bad. Use this knowledge to further your own healing. Pray to HaShem for the strength you need to keep on going, even when it seems you have no strength left inside you. You are not alone. Not only do we, as a group, pray for you, but The Creator accompanies you every step of your journey. Open your heart, soften it, and your "heart-thoughts" will be good.
Eternal Presence
How do you know that HaShem is with you? Do you consciously sense it? Do you see it? What evidence do you look towards to know that The Creator is with you? This thought occurred to me yesterday as I was nearly run off the road on the highway by a crazy driver. In moments like that, when we are saved from something horrible, we feel that "someone, some force is watching out for me." Some people might even think that "it's not my time yet" so that is why I was spared.
It is in those moments we might sense HaShem's presence most keenly, as is written in Psalm 18, v.17-19:
"He reached down from on high, He took me,
He drew me out of deep waters.
He saved me from my mighty enemy,
And my foes who were stronger than I.
They confronted me on the day of my calamity,
But Adonai was my support."
Yet, it is also in those small moments, when nothing "big" seems to be happening, the moments may seem mundane, or common, but Adonai is also with us then.
It is in those moments we might sense HaShem's presence most keenly, as is written in Psalm 18, v.17-19:
"He reached down from on high, He took me,
He drew me out of deep waters.
He saved me from my mighty enemy,
And my foes who were stronger than I.
They confronted me on the day of my calamity,
But Adonai was my support."
Yet, it is also in those small moments, when nothing "big" seems to be happening, the moments may seem mundane, or common, but Adonai is also with us then.
Sh'viti
In this moment, I am content. I have my health, my family, my friends, my pets, a good job, a great place to live. Now, illusion being what it is, of course all of us have all or some of these things, but do we always stop to think about them? Do we keep HaShem's blessings in the forefront of our minds/hearts? Sh'viti.... God is always with me/before me. There is a prayer/blessing I learned at a retreat sponsored by Walking Stick Foundation, founded by R. Gershon Winkler. It is an ancient Lakota prayer, I believe, but it is relevant to anyone. "May you walk in beauty. May beauty be beside you. May beauty be behind you. May beauty be before you. May beauty be below you. May beauty be above you." I add, "May beauty be with you every step of the way" Beauty is the Abundant Blessings of The Creator. The key for us is to know that we are always surrounded by this beauty every moment of every day.
Mother's Day
Tomorrow is Mother's Day here in the US. I live far from my mother and mother-in-law, so there will be no big gathering. Before we moved to the other coast, we all would get together at our house, the halfway point, and laugh and eat and enjoy each other's company. There was always plenty of food and laughter. For that, I am very blessed. I know there are many families where that is not the case.
We are commanded to honor our mother and father. But, how is that possible if there is a troubling relationship that seemingly prevents us from embracing that honor? How can we look at the gifts a parent has provided us if he or she has caused us pain? Where do we look for those answers? Where in our hearts can we find the place to get beyond the pain and see the joy of that parent and what we are/were blessed with?
We are commanded to honor our mother and father. But, how is that possible if there is a troubling relationship that seemingly prevents us from embracing that honor? How can we look at the gifts a parent has provided us if he or she has caused us pain? Where do we look for those answers? Where in our hearts can we find the place to get beyond the pain and see the joy of that parent and what we are/were blessed with?
Flex Your Soul Muscles
I came across a thought that I saw on a greeting card: "All times are good times. Difficult times help us grow. Happy times help us enjoy." How true that is. So often we greet the challenges with a heavy heart, plodding through them, without an end in our sight. Then, we come through the other side and look back, with our 20-20 hindsight, realizing how far we have come, and how much we have grown in the process. But, what if we just looked at the difficult times in a different way? If we looked at these moments in our lives as a chance to flex our "soul" muscles? That it doesn't matter how long it takes us, we are growing all along the way. I go to a gym to flex my physical muscles and use them so that I stay in shape and keep the juices flowing. The same goes for our mental muscles/capacity; we keep our brains active by staying engaged in life. Why not approach keeping our soul capacity strong by looking at how we view those challenges and changing our behavior. Embrace those moments when they seem insurmountable by reaching out to others, praying, eating well, sleeping enough, and being in nature to find the comfort we need as we meet those difficult times. The Psalms offer many opportunities to pray and ask for HaShem's help; all the better done under a tree, listening to the birds as they carry our prayers upwards.
Lighten your heart by shedding your burden, a little at a time.
Lighten your heart by shedding your burden, a little at a time.
Movement
A friend sent me a list of sayings and I picked out two that made me stop and pause: from Albert Einstein: "Life is like a bicycle--to keep your balance you must keep moving." A Yiddish proverb states, "You can't control the wind, but you can adjust your sails." Movement. Sometimes I move without thinking about it.... and other times I must stop before I make my next move. Oftentimes during a busy day, I keep moving and rarely stop and I'm exhausted by the end of the day. Towards that end, I am making myself pause in doorways (when it's safe!) to catch my breath, awaken my awareness, become conscious to get out of autopilot mode and even say a little prayer. How often the winds of our day carry us to and fro, and our own little boat of Self gets tossed around, yet we manage to adjust our sails and keep going. Sometimes, big waves crash down on us and we are overcome, nearly sinking. We pull through it, though.
Body & Soul
The body is the home of your soul in your lifetime. It is the place where a part of the soul that is you right now resides. It's always amazed me that the conatiner for this soul is a finite, breakable vessel and doesn't last forever, where the soul is eternal. Does that mean our souls have occupied other physical bodies at other times? There are Jewish people who believe that. Kaballists believe in reincarnation, and that the part of our soul we need to "work on" to perfect will return in another physical vessel until our souls are perfected in each lifetime, and we then reside in the Eternal with HaShem and All That Is, in the No-Thing-Ness.
How can we keep our soul containers in the best shape, even when outside forces may harm our bodies? Besides eating well, resting, exercising, and all that, we can keep a positive frame of mind, deal with the things that seem to prevent us from progressing, dance, laugh, and spend time in nature. Every moment, even the unpleasant ones, is necessary for our souls to grow and reach perfection. Flex your soul's muscles, express yourself, move, sing, shout your joy. And don't forget to express your thanks for all that is in your lifetime.
How can we keep our soul containers in the best shape, even when outside forces may harm our bodies? Besides eating well, resting, exercising, and all that, we can keep a positive frame of mind, deal with the things that seem to prevent us from progressing, dance, laugh, and spend time in nature. Every moment, even the unpleasant ones, is necessary for our souls to grow and reach perfection. Flex your soul's muscles, express yourself, move, sing, shout your joy. And don't forget to express your thanks for all that is in your lifetime.
My First Mikveh
At a Jewish retreat a few years ago, I was with a group of women at a pool. We thought of the pool as our mikveh. The Mikveh is traditionally used by women to cleanse themselves after their monthly cycle. Recently, women and men are using the Mikveh to immerse themselves at other lifepoints, such as before a wedding, after a divorce, or any other important time to mark its significance. At the retreat, we immersed three times. Each immersion was done fully, slowly, and deliberately. The first dunking was to cleanse ourselves of the residue of the week, which we focused on during the time we were under the water. The second immersion was to be in that middle place, betwixt and between the week and Shabbat, with no expectations, preparing ourselves to receive the blessings. The last dunk was to fully open up to the blessings of Shabbat and the Shekhinah. The experience was remarkable; my lungs and heart opened wide, my brain quieted, and I was fully open to the Shabbat experience.
Stress Redux
The ancient Jewish rabbis who wrote the Talmud had a unique and uncanny understanding of human behavior. They were the earliest psychologists. Over 1500 years ago, they wrote that "three things drain a person's health: worry, travel, and sin" (Gittin, 70a). Travel takes one away from his/her customary surroundings and comforts and injects its own pressures. Sin (missing the mark) has its own, sometimes dire consequences. When we fret over things that are out of our control, we cause ourselves physical, mental and emotional stress that becomes a vicious cycle in our lives.
Physically, blood pressure rises, breathing is shallow, our bodies tighten up and pain can result. This makes it more difficult to eat and sleep well, let alone giving our bodies a restful chance to recoup energy. Emotionally, we are as tightly wound as a spring, rendering our minds incapable of thinking rationally and logically. We might lash out at people who want to help, and we get stuck in a negative mindset that traps us in quicksand.
The trick is to step back and away from the stress we are feeling, in order to find a clearer perspective, give ourselves a chance to regroup, and realize that if we can't change it, we have to accept it. In order to step away, the first, most basic thing we can do is BREATHE! Sit quietly, eyes closed, and let yourself open up, open your lungs, your diaphragm, your belly, as you feel the breath traversing through your cells, muscles, bones. Get out and take a walk. As you take each step, coordinate your breathing to the rhythm of your feet, maybe even saying a word or phrase that helps you to relax. I say "om shalom" and let the words take on a natural cadence in time with my steps.
Your heart rate will slow, your vision will brighten, your chest and shoulders and neck will release. I like to walk up a good incline at a rapid pace to get my heart rate up and my lungs to expand, but you should do what is comfortable and what you are physically able to do. The aim is to cast off the burden of worry you are carrying around, and feel lighter and less stressed about what you can do nothing about (except to take care of yourself!!)
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Physically, blood pressure rises, breathing is shallow, our bodies tighten up and pain can result. This makes it more difficult to eat and sleep well, let alone giving our bodies a restful chance to recoup energy. Emotionally, we are as tightly wound as a spring, rendering our minds incapable of thinking rationally and logically. We might lash out at people who want to help, and we get stuck in a negative mindset that traps us in quicksand.
The trick is to step back and away from the stress we are feeling, in order to find a clearer perspective, give ourselves a chance to regroup, and realize that if we can't change it, we have to accept it. In order to step away, the first, most basic thing we can do is BREATHE! Sit quietly, eyes closed, and let yourself open up, open your lungs, your diaphragm, your belly, as you feel the breath traversing through your cells, muscles, bones. Get out and take a walk. As you take each step, coordinate your breathing to the rhythm of your feet, maybe even saying a word or phrase that helps you to relax. I say "om shalom" and let the words take on a natural cadence in time with my steps.
Your heart rate will slow, your vision will brighten, your chest and shoulders and neck will release. I like to walk up a good incline at a rapid pace to get my heart rate up and my lungs to expand, but you should do what is comfortable and what you are physically able to do. The aim is to cast off the burden of worry you are carrying around, and feel lighter and less stressed about what you can do nothing about (except to take care of yourself!!)
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