Connecting with Wholeness

This week, I'm thinking about how I make this world a better place. As Jewish people, we are obligated to repair the world; how we carry that out is our contribution to the universe, and our gift from God.

How we serve, and repair the world, connects us to each other in many ways, shapes, and patterns. We connect with other living beings in our lives, whether in cyber space or in the physical world, in our roles as partner, worker, child/parent, friend, etc. Each of these connections teaches us about a different facet of ourselves. How we respond to each other also tells us if we are being honest with ourselves and each other. That is, do we embrace opportunities, or do we make excuses? Are we being whole and unified? Are we living a life with integrity? Are we treating each other respectfully? Do we treat ourselves with respect?

In the Talmud, it is said that "Because of me the universe was created." What is it about you that is so unique that only you can offer it to the universe? Do you offer this gift with your whole self, or with a splintered part of yourself? If we can't be honest about ourselves inside us, there is no way we can be honest about ourselves in our relationships to each other. Where inside ourselves do we feel splintered, and can we take the part of our self that is whole to help heal the broken parts? If we can't do it alone, maybe we can find a trusted, objective person to help us. Oftentimes, the hurting part takes up most of our vision, so that it's really difficult to see beyond it to the parts inside us that our whole.

We owe it to ourselves, and the universe, to become as whole as we can, as integrated as we can, in order to give our best self to the wider world. HaShem has given us a most unique gift of life, and we need to be co-creators to take this energy and make a mark upon this world.

Fathers and Masculinity

This Sunday is Father's Day, and I promised I would write something about dad's, as I'd done a piece about mom's back in May. One's relationship with this authority figure can be fraught with much turmoil. Often dads are not emotional or outgoing, and it's difficult to know what they are really feeling inside. They can be men of few words, so the only feedback we may receive may feel more like criticism or judgment. Many dads work long hours and spend little time with their children; this can impede forming a close relationship, as the father can miss out on all the "little" things that are so important. It wasn't until I was well into my 30's when I made peace with the man my father is. He is an engineer, and sees the world in very precise ways. I have learned to appreciate his perspective, and also to understand how he communicates his deep love for his children. I know that I can differ in my opinions and do so without malice or bitterness, though that wasn't always the case. I often felt threatened by his "force of will".

Fathers represent the masculine aspect, or animus in Jungian terms. The outwardly projected authoritative force, strong, focused, determined, discriminating, action-oriented, competitive, etc. We've all heard about the brain studies that show that men communicate differently than women because there is less communication between brain hemispheres. I know I am generalizing here, because many of the men I know are good communicators! They see things differently than I do, but it's not better or worse. We can each learn from the other gender how to be more whole.