It's been nearly a year since I decided to go public with my writing, and formed this blog. It was easy to keep up with it, posting regular installments on all number of topics. Then, summer came. My life exploded, but in a good way. A very busy summer dotted with visitors, travel, a surprise party celebrating a major birthday, and the various day to day events that refused to ebb into a slower pace. I went public with my creative undertakings, putting photos of my mosaic projects online. Yet, everytime I sat down to write, I felt that there wasn't much to say. The words vanished from the ether in my brain, where they'd been swirling around just moments before.
I sat down to start grappling with what it meant to be 50, intending to write something pithy and symbolic. I even received a great book as a guide (Invisible No More: The Secret Lifes of Women Over 50 by Kramer, Fisher, and Peelen) and bought a looseleaf notebook and paper to begin recording my thoughts on all aspects of this milestone. The problem is, I just don't feel 50. I feel as if I'm 37 with experience. OK, maybe 39 with experience. I feel comfortable with myself, though I'd like to lose some weight (who doesn't). I take no shit from anyone (finally). I know where I stand on issues that are meaningful to me. I am still figuring out what I want to do when I grow up, since it's time to pick something else. But, I don't say these statements because I'm now 50; it's just where I was headed anyways. I'm giving myself permission to be more free and allow others to do the same. So what if we don't agree? I go back and forth from giving too much thought to the political climate of late, to getting sick of all the namecalling and bitterness and going on a "news fast" to save my sanity. I'm not happy where things are these days, but am also too lazy to do anything about it, other than sign a few petitions and write some emails to my elected officials.
So, it's now almost a new year, 2010, which looks really cool when it's written down. Numerologically, it's a "3" year. In Kaballah, it stands for Understanding. Three represents trinities: past/present/future, mother/father/child, birth/life/death, in the Christian faith, it is the father/son/holy spirit. Qualities associated with people who are "3's" are versatile, artistic, witty, energetic, lucky, brilliant, sociable, expansive, frivolous, wasteful, outspoken. Not sure where this will guide us, if at all, but for some folks who swear by this, it does guide them into making better decisions in their lives. Which leads me to the topic at hand: making resolutions.
I prefer to call them Goals to Guide Me. I'm not a big one for the long haul, meaning that I might have some goals that go out a few months, some that might even cover a year, but that's the length of it. Who knows where, or (hopefully) if, I'll be around in 5 years? I'd rather keep that list manageable, that way I can have the satisfaction of crossing things off my list as they are completed! It really comes down to what are my priorities with this time ahead, and what do I want to do with my time? Where are my energies best spent? How much time do I want to devote to certain things, and what about those crazy ass things that just pop out of nowhere, demanding all my time and energy?
When I'm sitting here this time 365 days from now, what do I want to see as I look behind me? I see what I accomplished this past year and am proud of myself, but am not one to rest on my laurels (or my behind). A good friend sent me her goals, and I have to say, some of them were certainly pertinent to me and I asked her if I could "co-opt" them for my own use. Though we are at totally different stages in our lives, some things never change and can always use attention.
How do I want to care for myself this year? What needs tending to? How do I want to care for my surroundings? What inside me needs to be nourished? How do I want to care for others in my circle? What inner qualities need to be brought to the forefront, and what can take a rest? What no longer serves me? How do I best cultivate my current relationships, and am I open to new ones?
When I look around at my garden and see what needs pruning in order to grow and be healthy, I can use that same technique for my self. What can I prune, and where do I cut in order to stimulate growth in a way that is natural and healthy? As I'm tending to the garden, I allow my thoughts to wander to the garden that is within myself.
Will I actually sit down and have a long talk with myself before the new year and write down the goals I want to accomplish this year? Yes. It's a promise to myself. I have one life and I don't want to squander it. My energy is precious and is best not wasted. So, even if you find me sitting around in my garden, I'm not wasting time, I'm pruning my inner soul!
Happy pruning, happy goal-making, happy 2010!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Gan Eden here on Earth?
We all want what's best for humanity: food, shelter, education, work, and family living in a world of peace. But when corrupt power is used to coerce people to act a specified way, freedom ceases to exist. Tyranny abounds. A corrupt few try desperately to control whatever and whomever they can. But, the world is a chaotic and risky place where some of us believe we need to save the world from itself. We attempt to control every possible outcome. We legislate morality, forcing citizens to work for the controlling body (government or religion), rather than the other way round. We have to pay for all the new laws designed to "protect" us.
How arrogant we humans are to believe we know everything there is to know about this universe. And, since our greatest minds have told us that the world is falling, ending, exploding, imploding (take your pick), we are impelled to act, and given no choice but to go along with the falsity. How arrogant we are to think we make such a huge difference in the world.
Each one of us should be vigilant in our actions. Our aim should be the improvement of the world, not as an imposition upon another, but in a harmonious co-existence with All That Is.
This type of world demands genuine respect for self and others. Behavior is impeccably open and honest. One's heart, mind, and soul work together to encourage growth and wisdom.
Isn't this the unalienable right with which we are endowed in this lifetime?
I am angry with the world's so-called leaders. Their power is ill-gotten and horribly, tragically misdirected. Their hearts and minds are twisted, leaving them greedy, ruthless, misguided, and a destroyer of humanity. Their ears and eyes are closed to all but the narrow perspective of their personal agenda. But, their mouths are wide open. Jaws are flapping. The atmosphere is alive and crackling with lies and half-truths.
I'm sad that many people will never achieve their potential. They will die before they have the chance. Their lives will be stolen in one way or another. I'm sad when bad things happen to children, animals, and our wise elders. We do need to tend to those beings who are unable to defend themselves from the harsh world. There are ways to do it that encourage the best in people. Most of us will help the world in our unique way when given the opportunity. Of course, there are always going to be the bullies and the nasties, which screws it up for the rest of us.
If we could all just get out of our own and each other's way, the world would be a much better place.
How arrogant we humans are to believe we know everything there is to know about this universe. And, since our greatest minds have told us that the world is falling, ending, exploding, imploding (take your pick), we are impelled to act, and given no choice but to go along with the falsity. How arrogant we are to think we make such a huge difference in the world.
Each one of us should be vigilant in our actions. Our aim should be the improvement of the world, not as an imposition upon another, but in a harmonious co-existence with All That Is.
This type of world demands genuine respect for self and others. Behavior is impeccably open and honest. One's heart, mind, and soul work together to encourage growth and wisdom.
Isn't this the unalienable right with which we are endowed in this lifetime?
I am angry with the world's so-called leaders. Their power is ill-gotten and horribly, tragically misdirected. Their hearts and minds are twisted, leaving them greedy, ruthless, misguided, and a destroyer of humanity. Their ears and eyes are closed to all but the narrow perspective of their personal agenda. But, their mouths are wide open. Jaws are flapping. The atmosphere is alive and crackling with lies and half-truths.
I'm sad that many people will never achieve their potential. They will die before they have the chance. Their lives will be stolen in one way or another. I'm sad when bad things happen to children, animals, and our wise elders. We do need to tend to those beings who are unable to defend themselves from the harsh world. There are ways to do it that encourage the best in people. Most of us will help the world in our unique way when given the opportunity. Of course, there are always going to be the bullies and the nasties, which screws it up for the rest of us.
If we could all just get out of our own and each other's way, the world would be a much better place.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Gratitude
I'm filled with gratitude for today. Can you say that every day? So often, some of us forget to do that. We take our lives for granted. Yet, as I creep up to a milestone birthday, it seems I am contemplating more fully what that means. I find myself gazing at the obits in the paper, observing how old the people are when they had enough of this place and make the journey to the next place. A new friend I've made here is my son's age (22), and her mother -her best friend- suddenly and tragically died. We don't know how much time we have here on earth, with our loved ones, in this wild and crazy place we call home. That's why it helps to be grateful for at least one thing each day, as it eases some of the pain and suffering of our soul's growth. It also reminds us most poignantly of Ha Shem's love for us.
We just never know how things will turn out, and when we greet each day with a sense of "Yirah" or Awe/Fear, we hope and pray for the best, and our prayers are usually answered. Even in tragedy, we need to find what is good, or we will be bitter for the rest of our lives. And with only one chance at this go-round, we cheat our souls if we don't give it all we've got.
May your week be warm, opening, and full of shining moments.
We just never know how things will turn out, and when we greet each day with a sense of "Yirah" or Awe/Fear, we hope and pray for the best, and our prayers are usually answered. Even in tragedy, we need to find what is good, or we will be bitter for the rest of our lives. And with only one chance at this go-round, we cheat our souls if we don't give it all we've got.
May your week be warm, opening, and full of shining moments.
Monday, May 25, 2009
A collision of the generations
These last several weeks have been chock full of family and friendly connections. Last night, we hosted a welcome-home/congrats party for our son, with our closest friends, after spending time with family the weekend before. These folks have become our west coast family. Many common threads intertwine us. It's a blessing and a gift to have discovered each other, and I'm overjoyed that our web continues to grow.
It was the first party to enjoy the new garden. I got to show it off, and I realized that I must really be putting down my roots here, finally. Not that it's been easy, but this garden makes a statement for me and to me. It is symbolic in what elements it contains. My "Best of California" Garden has 2 aspects to it: a drought-tolerant , tough scrubbiness that's also airy and light; plus a lush, tropical shady feminine fullness. Lots of textures and colorful flowers, loved by all flying creatures. It's great to be able to support nature with my efforts, which are also pleasing to the humans (and dogs) in the crowd. Butterfly bush, Desert Willow, wild sage, manzanita, sugar bush, jasmine (3 kinds!), succulents, bamboo, Princess Flower, to name a few enticing items in my garden. It's been a fun process where I've learned alot, and have made some new connections. I don't think my husband realizes how happy this space makes me!
During one of the many stimulating conversations that I savor from last night, the visiting sister of a friend mentioned an encounter with Locality Astrology. From what I understand, when one superimposes his/her Natal Chart upon a Chart of the World, one can discover the best place to live, where s/he will blossom the most. This knowledge motivated this woman and her husband to move across the world. How many of us are ready to do that? What if circumstances mean that you will end up in a place that isn't quite ideal, how will that affect you? It's intriguing and could be a real tool for self-development.
All these events mark my place in the world right now: I feel keenly the pull of my child and my parents, which gets me feeling a bit uncertain, and asking questions about how I can best contribute to the world for this next phase of my life. I'm making my way through this thing called life, hopefully revealing more and more of my soul to myself and the world. I take to my heart many sad things in the world; the cracks, the closed places, the dead and dark places. I'm just searching for a way of healing. A novel approach that will allow me to be an effective guide to others into their own hearts and souls.
As my own journey continues, my son's journey is superimposed upon me and my husband. Our families of origin also superimpose themselves upon us. I've noticed that as we age, the body's limitations become crystal clear. Our weakened defenses break down, forcing us to pause and take a break. Or, certain body parts don't work as well as they used to, so pain or discomfort is a more constant presence. Things take longer to heal, and may not heal completely. I'm experiencing this within my own body, and seeing how the process further affects my parents' generation. This realization can be a difficult and painful part of life.
It brings to my mind snippets of information I heard the last few days regarding the state of Washington allowing euthanasia. Very powerful and risky. Frankly, I'm not black and white on that issue. Lots of conflicting emotions and questions. Life and death decisions are grave and serious, and are not taken lightly by the people involved, no matter what the talking heads are spewing. Would our country actually take over this decision-making process? Really? Believing that it's for our own good? Or, would the government get out of the way and allow the states to form their own accords, based on their uniqueness? What works for someone in Vermont, might not be the way for someone else in Texas, for example. Areas draw certain kinds of people to them: the rough and tough gritty New Yorker, the no-nonsense New Englander, the laid back and relaxed West Coaster, the friendly and conservative Midwesterner. Certain values are held up more highly than others, depending upon where one lives. When most folks are given the choice as to whether or not to do the right thing, they take the higher road.
These experiences are a reminder that we are here for but one go-round. We'd better make it good, and have no regrets upon death. Otherwise, some belief systems posit that we come back again to further hone the rough edges. Another facet of the soul is polished, which can be hard work, yet contain many rewards. There has to be a reward for the suffering and pain, lest our lives become empty and embittered. No matter where you are in your generational pull, promise that you will be as open-minded and open-hearted as you can be in the moment.
Go Forth, and May the Force be with You.
It was the first party to enjoy the new garden. I got to show it off, and I realized that I must really be putting down my roots here, finally. Not that it's been easy, but this garden makes a statement for me and to me. It is symbolic in what elements it contains. My "Best of California" Garden has 2 aspects to it: a drought-tolerant , tough scrubbiness that's also airy and light; plus a lush, tropical shady feminine fullness. Lots of textures and colorful flowers, loved by all flying creatures. It's great to be able to support nature with my efforts, which are also pleasing to the humans (and dogs) in the crowd. Butterfly bush, Desert Willow, wild sage, manzanita, sugar bush, jasmine (3 kinds!), succulents, bamboo, Princess Flower, to name a few enticing items in my garden. It's been a fun process where I've learned alot, and have made some new connections. I don't think my husband realizes how happy this space makes me!
During one of the many stimulating conversations that I savor from last night, the visiting sister of a friend mentioned an encounter with Locality Astrology. From what I understand, when one superimposes his/her Natal Chart upon a Chart of the World, one can discover the best place to live, where s/he will blossom the most. This knowledge motivated this woman and her husband to move across the world. How many of us are ready to do that? What if circumstances mean that you will end up in a place that isn't quite ideal, how will that affect you? It's intriguing and could be a real tool for self-development.
All these events mark my place in the world right now: I feel keenly the pull of my child and my parents, which gets me feeling a bit uncertain, and asking questions about how I can best contribute to the world for this next phase of my life. I'm making my way through this thing called life, hopefully revealing more and more of my soul to myself and the world. I take to my heart many sad things in the world; the cracks, the closed places, the dead and dark places. I'm just searching for a way of healing. A novel approach that will allow me to be an effective guide to others into their own hearts and souls.
As my own journey continues, my son's journey is superimposed upon me and my husband. Our families of origin also superimpose themselves upon us. I've noticed that as we age, the body's limitations become crystal clear. Our weakened defenses break down, forcing us to pause and take a break. Or, certain body parts don't work as well as they used to, so pain or discomfort is a more constant presence. Things take longer to heal, and may not heal completely. I'm experiencing this within my own body, and seeing how the process further affects my parents' generation. This realization can be a difficult and painful part of life.
It brings to my mind snippets of information I heard the last few days regarding the state of Washington allowing euthanasia. Very powerful and risky. Frankly, I'm not black and white on that issue. Lots of conflicting emotions and questions. Life and death decisions are grave and serious, and are not taken lightly by the people involved, no matter what the talking heads are spewing. Would our country actually take over this decision-making process? Really? Believing that it's for our own good? Or, would the government get out of the way and allow the states to form their own accords, based on their uniqueness? What works for someone in Vermont, might not be the way for someone else in Texas, for example. Areas draw certain kinds of people to them: the rough and tough gritty New Yorker, the no-nonsense New Englander, the laid back and relaxed West Coaster, the friendly and conservative Midwesterner. Certain values are held up more highly than others, depending upon where one lives. When most folks are given the choice as to whether or not to do the right thing, they take the higher road.
These experiences are a reminder that we are here for but one go-round. We'd better make it good, and have no regrets upon death. Otherwise, some belief systems posit that we come back again to further hone the rough edges. Another facet of the soul is polished, which can be hard work, yet contain many rewards. There has to be a reward for the suffering and pain, lest our lives become empty and embittered. No matter where you are in your generational pull, promise that you will be as open-minded and open-hearted as you can be in the moment.
Go Forth, and May the Force be with You.
Friday, May 8, 2009
When will the madness end?
I'm glad someone (Caldera) is taking the hit for the stupidity and insensitivity the WH embraced in their stupid filming session of AF1, scaring the people of Manhattan and the world to death. Have they never heard of "Photo Shop"???
I wrote BO a letter about it, emailed to whitehgouse.gov since they won't accept snail mail, and haven't heard anything. Stupid assholes. At least the media is paying some attention to this latest misstep. Although, if it happened on Bush's watch, there would be this huge investigation, and a victimized outcry from the left. Our president's wrist gets slapped again by his adoring fans, but the appropriate response should be impeachment as this is just one more insane attempt to dismantle our greatness.
I just heard on the news that BO is threatening to keep the stimulus money promised to the state of CA and our turncoat governator, if our state won't take care of the union workers. What kind of mob government is this? I didn't realize Barak "Soprano" Obama was ruling the roost and trying to strong arm another one of the states. It's not that I want our state to get the money. Screw that. It's the audacity of his threat. How dare the US government usurp the Constitution to the degree that they have. Clearly, they have forgotten who pays their salaries, and for whom they work. Shame on them.
Our multinational culture is becoming one of mistrust, distrust, entitlement, lack of accountability and responsibility. I used to view the Mayan Prophecy for 2012 with some disbelief, but now I wonder. According to the description given in http://www.13moon.com/prophecy%20page.htm, the culmination on the Winter Solstice will be 26,000 years in the making (12/21/12, or 21/12/12 for the Europeans in the group). Numerologically, this is noteworthy... for "3" repeated 3 times is fascinating! Considering the Enneagram, Point 3, it is considered the first shock point by Gurdjieff. Matter (point 1) and Feeling (point 2) come together, to marry and fertilize each other. Making, doing, performing magic. There is a search for perfection. There is also a fear of failure. The remedy for this is to be in one's "hara" or belly, to be grounded and centered. Curiously, the country associated with Point 3 is the United States of America, because it is associated with a place of unlimited possibilities. (The Enneagram Workbook by Klaus Vollmar, Sterling Publishing, NY 1998)
[By the way, do the "green" scientists have records that are as ancient, that can prove that mere humans caused global climate change? Puh-leaze.]
I lie on my back on the tiny grass patch that is in front of my house. I play with my Yellow Lab Charlie, and contemplate the fog as it sidles inland. I feel a sense of peace that no stupidity or insensitivity can touch. Sadly, resignedly, I come back to this current reality, and vow to keep on with the fight. I owe it to my grandkids. Or, anyone else's for that matter. Our country needs to stay at its pinnacle as a place of unlimited possibilities.
I wrote BO a letter about it, emailed to whitehgouse.gov since they won't accept snail mail, and haven't heard anything. Stupid assholes. At least the media is paying some attention to this latest misstep. Although, if it happened on Bush's watch, there would be this huge investigation, and a victimized outcry from the left. Our president's wrist gets slapped again by his adoring fans, but the appropriate response should be impeachment as this is just one more insane attempt to dismantle our greatness.
I just heard on the news that BO is threatening to keep the stimulus money promised to the state of CA and our turncoat governator, if our state won't take care of the union workers. What kind of mob government is this? I didn't realize Barak "Soprano" Obama was ruling the roost and trying to strong arm another one of the states. It's not that I want our state to get the money. Screw that. It's the audacity of his threat. How dare the US government usurp the Constitution to the degree that they have. Clearly, they have forgotten who pays their salaries, and for whom they work. Shame on them.
Our multinational culture is becoming one of mistrust, distrust, entitlement, lack of accountability and responsibility. I used to view the Mayan Prophecy for 2012 with some disbelief, but now I wonder. According to the description given in http://www.13moon.com/prophecy%20page.htm, the culmination on the Winter Solstice will be 26,000 years in the making (12/21/12, or 21/12/12 for the Europeans in the group). Numerologically, this is noteworthy... for "3" repeated 3 times is fascinating! Considering the Enneagram, Point 3, it is considered the first shock point by Gurdjieff. Matter (point 1) and Feeling (point 2) come together, to marry and fertilize each other. Making, doing, performing magic. There is a search for perfection. There is also a fear of failure. The remedy for this is to be in one's "hara" or belly, to be grounded and centered. Curiously, the country associated with Point 3 is the United States of America, because it is associated with a place of unlimited possibilities. (The Enneagram Workbook by Klaus Vollmar, Sterling Publishing, NY 1998)
[By the way, do the "green" scientists have records that are as ancient, that can prove that mere humans caused global climate change? Puh-leaze.]
I lie on my back on the tiny grass patch that is in front of my house. I play with my Yellow Lab Charlie, and contemplate the fog as it sidles inland. I feel a sense of peace that no stupidity or insensitivity can touch. Sadly, resignedly, I come back to this current reality, and vow to keep on with the fight. I owe it to my grandkids. Or, anyone else's for that matter. Our country needs to stay at its pinnacle as a place of unlimited possibilities.
Yo Mama
Sunday is Mother's Day here in the US. Personally, I think it's a ploy from the retail shops to drum up some extra business. I could participate in stimulating the economy by taking advantage of the lovely items available in nearly every kind of gift shop or department store. Or, I might grace mom with a handmade gift, or something else that helps her enjoy life. Taking her out for a nice meal, or making a donation in her name are other thoughtful ideas. But, I prefer to tell my mom (and mother in law) that I think they're special more often than once a year on a made-up holiday. And, I told my husband that I want to stay home and just relax! And not to spend money on a card, because he can tell me in person what a great mom I am to our child! He was fine with that (ha ha).
My mother is one of the reasons I'm a decent person. Her kind, loving way of raising me (and my 2 sisters) resulted in my growing into a thoughtful, considerate, and loving mother to my own child. Her lessons were many, and she fostered (and still does) a sense of peace, security, and togetherness in our family. It's difficult for me to be living so far away and not having her close at hand. The telephone doesn't quite cut it for me, so we visit a few times a year and that tides me over, most of the time.
My mother in law raised a loving, happy man who became my husband (and he's still happy!!). The lessons he learned from her, to be fair, honest, responsible, and to work hard have made him a successful person in his career, and a loving and upbeat father.
Our mothers are crucial to our well-being. Studies with young children, and young animals demonstrate how necessary maternal bonding is from the moment of birth. A youngster who has not received adequate bonding from a loving, caring presence will not have a sense of security, a clear sense of self, and will have problems with attachment later on.
If your mother is a positive presence in your life, consider yourself fortunate indeed. If you had issues with your mother, figure out what good she contributed to your life, and how her behavior helped you become the person you are today.
On another note, I came across this information in today's Dear Abby and want to share it with you: heart disease kills more women than the other top 3 causes combined. Women's symptoms are not the same as men's. It is important for women, and the ones who care about them, to know and understand the symptoms in order to receive proper and timely lifesaving care. You can request a Heart Health Kit by going to www.pueblo.gsa.gov, or call 888-878-3256, or write to Heart Health Kit, Pueblo, CO 81009.
My mother is one of the reasons I'm a decent person. Her kind, loving way of raising me (and my 2 sisters) resulted in my growing into a thoughtful, considerate, and loving mother to my own child. Her lessons were many, and she fostered (and still does) a sense of peace, security, and togetherness in our family. It's difficult for me to be living so far away and not having her close at hand. The telephone doesn't quite cut it for me, so we visit a few times a year and that tides me over, most of the time.
My mother in law raised a loving, happy man who became my husband (and he's still happy!!). The lessons he learned from her, to be fair, honest, responsible, and to work hard have made him a successful person in his career, and a loving and upbeat father.
Our mothers are crucial to our well-being. Studies with young children, and young animals demonstrate how necessary maternal bonding is from the moment of birth. A youngster who has not received adequate bonding from a loving, caring presence will not have a sense of security, a clear sense of self, and will have problems with attachment later on.
If your mother is a positive presence in your life, consider yourself fortunate indeed. If you had issues with your mother, figure out what good she contributed to your life, and how her behavior helped you become the person you are today.
On another note, I came across this information in today's Dear Abby and want to share it with you: heart disease kills more women than the other top 3 causes combined. Women's symptoms are not the same as men's. It is important for women, and the ones who care about them, to know and understand the symptoms in order to receive proper and timely lifesaving care. You can request a Heart Health Kit by going to www.pueblo.gsa.gov, or call 888-878-3256, or write to Heart Health Kit, Pueblo, CO 81009.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Being Truthful
I have to laugh at all the hypocrisy that exists in the world today. Holier-than-thou environmentalists are attempting to control the world. In their arrogance, they believe their world view is the only world-view that should exist. What difference does it make that their solutions are expensive, unproven and impractical?
Consider this: from the moment you wake up in the morning until you go to sleep each night, every single thing you touch or ingest is the result of some creative idea that came to fruition, and involved some sort of energy input to manufacture and transport, hence some sort of fossil fuel or other resource was used to bring that item into your hands. The bed you sleep in has sheets and pillows and blankets on it. The bathroom you use has a sink, toilet, shower, etc. that were manufactured. The water you use came from somewhere, and is treated so that it is safe for human consumption. The food you eat came from another place, and was somehow processed and packaged and transported so that you could procure it.
Where does the cup and plate and eating utensil come from? How did it get to you? What about the table you are sitting at? How about the cell phone or computer that you use to check your mail, order flowers, or make a reservation? Where did the plastic and all the insides come from? All the things we call conveniences and take for granted represent some technological advance and demand for some form of petrochemical or other resource to manufacture and bring to your fingertips. It also represents the end result of some person working at his or her job to bring that product to market.
If you were truly "green" you would be living in the woods like Thoreau, or a caveman. You would be living off the land, building a house from the resources at hand (mud, tree branches, stone, etc). You would be the steward of your food and clothing: raising sheep for the wool, raising chickens for their eggs, planting a garden, etc. You would have to make a cart and find a horse if you needed to get anywhere faster than walking. You would have to make provisions for potable water and getting rid of waste.
But, since we are all creatures of the 21st century and most of us do not live off the land, we do have choices to conserve our resources so that they last longer. We should conserve, reduce, reuse, recycle because it helps us be better stewards of the resources that we are fortunate enough to enjoy. We shouldn't take these resources for granted, for they are not endless (though it seems so!). There is no reason to make a big deal out of this, it should just be a part of our every day life. It should be a part of our thinking, just as commonplace as thinking about the things we need to accomplish on any given day. We live in a very prosperous, creative country that is very fortunate to have all it has. Most people aren't so lucky. We need to show more gratitude and more responsibility for what we have, and one way to do that is to think about our impact on the world around us. It's not something to get all high and mighty about, but if everyone does his or her own part to make less of an impact and use resources more thoughtfully, we will be better off.
If you drink water out of one of those ubiquitous plastic bottles, what about getting a water filter for your faucet and using a reusable plastic or stainless bottle to transport it? If you drink coffee from a disposable cup, bring a real coffee cup with you, and wash it out. If you buy lunch, get it packaged with as little packaging as possible. Use net bags for your groceries. Join a freecycle on-line community to procure needed items, and pass yours on. There are so many ways we can reduce our impact on the environment that cost us little to nothing, other than being creative in our thought processes, and being a little more proactive.
I don't need some government agency telling me what car to drive, what tv I can watch, and how to live my life. I'm intelligent and really can think for myself in order to make a good choice. I'm not ready to become a non-thinking robot that goes along with whatever "Big Daddy" thinks is right for me. When I put something in my mouth, I make the choice and understand all the ramifications of ingesting that morsel. When I go to the store, I make the choice to spend my money, keep the economy going, and truly know whether or not I need that particular item in my possession. When I decide what car I want to drive, I'm going to choose something that suits my needs as far as comfort, size, price, etc.
The United States is an incredible place to live. But, I find the arrogance of those who think they know best how to live, to be deplorable. Who are we to think that our little country can impact the universe? Who are we to think that our measuring equipment is the be-all and end-all of everyone else's, and can possibly know all the answers there are to know? The Chicken Little media makes us think that our world is ending. The planet has been around for billions of years, and will continue, with our without our input. It's way bigger than we are! How do we know if anything we are doing affects climate change? We are poised to control every aspect of our lives with more and more costly regulations that will disempower us, dumb us down, and destroy our creative free market.
What happened to doing the right thing, because it's the right thing to do, not because someone tells us we have to?
Consider this: from the moment you wake up in the morning until you go to sleep each night, every single thing you touch or ingest is the result of some creative idea that came to fruition, and involved some sort of energy input to manufacture and transport, hence some sort of fossil fuel or other resource was used to bring that item into your hands. The bed you sleep in has sheets and pillows and blankets on it. The bathroom you use has a sink, toilet, shower, etc. that were manufactured. The water you use came from somewhere, and is treated so that it is safe for human consumption. The food you eat came from another place, and was somehow processed and packaged and transported so that you could procure it.
Where does the cup and plate and eating utensil come from? How did it get to you? What about the table you are sitting at? How about the cell phone or computer that you use to check your mail, order flowers, or make a reservation? Where did the plastic and all the insides come from? All the things we call conveniences and take for granted represent some technological advance and demand for some form of petrochemical or other resource to manufacture and bring to your fingertips. It also represents the end result of some person working at his or her job to bring that product to market.
If you were truly "green" you would be living in the woods like Thoreau, or a caveman. You would be living off the land, building a house from the resources at hand (mud, tree branches, stone, etc). You would be the steward of your food and clothing: raising sheep for the wool, raising chickens for their eggs, planting a garden, etc. You would have to make a cart and find a horse if you needed to get anywhere faster than walking. You would have to make provisions for potable water and getting rid of waste.
But, since we are all creatures of the 21st century and most of us do not live off the land, we do have choices to conserve our resources so that they last longer. We should conserve, reduce, reuse, recycle because it helps us be better stewards of the resources that we are fortunate enough to enjoy. We shouldn't take these resources for granted, for they are not endless (though it seems so!). There is no reason to make a big deal out of this, it should just be a part of our every day life. It should be a part of our thinking, just as commonplace as thinking about the things we need to accomplish on any given day. We live in a very prosperous, creative country that is very fortunate to have all it has. Most people aren't so lucky. We need to show more gratitude and more responsibility for what we have, and one way to do that is to think about our impact on the world around us. It's not something to get all high and mighty about, but if everyone does his or her own part to make less of an impact and use resources more thoughtfully, we will be better off.
If you drink water out of one of those ubiquitous plastic bottles, what about getting a water filter for your faucet and using a reusable plastic or stainless bottle to transport it? If you drink coffee from a disposable cup, bring a real coffee cup with you, and wash it out. If you buy lunch, get it packaged with as little packaging as possible. Use net bags for your groceries. Join a freecycle on-line community to procure needed items, and pass yours on. There are so many ways we can reduce our impact on the environment that cost us little to nothing, other than being creative in our thought processes, and being a little more proactive.
I don't need some government agency telling me what car to drive, what tv I can watch, and how to live my life. I'm intelligent and really can think for myself in order to make a good choice. I'm not ready to become a non-thinking robot that goes along with whatever "Big Daddy" thinks is right for me. When I put something in my mouth, I make the choice and understand all the ramifications of ingesting that morsel. When I go to the store, I make the choice to spend my money, keep the economy going, and truly know whether or not I need that particular item in my possession. When I decide what car I want to drive, I'm going to choose something that suits my needs as far as comfort, size, price, etc.
The United States is an incredible place to live. But, I find the arrogance of those who think they know best how to live, to be deplorable. Who are we to think that our little country can impact the universe? Who are we to think that our measuring equipment is the be-all and end-all of everyone else's, and can possibly know all the answers there are to know? The Chicken Little media makes us think that our world is ending. The planet has been around for billions of years, and will continue, with our without our input. It's way bigger than we are! How do we know if anything we are doing affects climate change? We are poised to control every aspect of our lives with more and more costly regulations that will disempower us, dumb us down, and destroy our creative free market.
What happened to doing the right thing, because it's the right thing to do, not because someone tells us we have to?
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
What Lies Within the Suffering?
What lies hidden in the current suffering of our world?
So much corruption, deceit, irresponsiblity, and a lack of human decency mark our interactions with each other. We don't realize or care how our actions might harm each other. The Right Way is unclear to many of us. We are splintered and polarized. All sides believe they are right and everyone else is wrong. The thing is, that statement is true--each side has a right answer, but they also have plenty of wrong answers, too.
How we can all come together to listen to each side, and really hear what everyone has to contribute? That also demands that each side stay open to hearing what is getting in the way of moving forward, as we all offer up satisfactory compromises. How do we spread a spirit of cooperation and bring a sense of caring back into our world? There is too much harmful power and control being carelessly tossed around at the expense of our humanity. People's vision is clouded, and many are making deleterious decisions that will affect each and every one of us.
I read a depressing article about the Ten Most Depressed Cities in the US. ( http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.phpsid=58657910775&h=tssCi&u=H9aoZ). Causes are difficult to pinpoint, as there are many issues affecting people these days. Being elderly, being unemployed, or having greater access to firearms, were some of the reasons given that may have contributed to a higher suicide rate and more reports of depressive feelings.
One thing that has struck me these last several weeks is that the economic and employment news is always dire. But, if only 10% of people are unemployed, that means 90% of us are working! We're focusing on the wrong side of the equation. We need to get past the doom and gloom thinking that the media and our elected officials want us to believe in. We need to find the optimism that is hidden in the suffering. Instead of focusing on the "what's in it for me" victim mentality, we need to gather our strengths and abilities, and use them for the good. We need to empower ourselves to focus on what makes us strong and act accordingly.
So much corruption, deceit, irresponsiblity, and a lack of human decency mark our interactions with each other. We don't realize or care how our actions might harm each other. The Right Way is unclear to many of us. We are splintered and polarized. All sides believe they are right and everyone else is wrong. The thing is, that statement is true--each side has a right answer, but they also have plenty of wrong answers, too.
How we can all come together to listen to each side, and really hear what everyone has to contribute? That also demands that each side stay open to hearing what is getting in the way of moving forward, as we all offer up satisfactory compromises. How do we spread a spirit of cooperation and bring a sense of caring back into our world? There is too much harmful power and control being carelessly tossed around at the expense of our humanity. People's vision is clouded, and many are making deleterious decisions that will affect each and every one of us.
I read a depressing article about the Ten Most Depressed Cities in the US. ( http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.phpsid=58657910775&h=tssCi&u=H9aoZ). Causes are difficult to pinpoint, as there are many issues affecting people these days. Being elderly, being unemployed, or having greater access to firearms, were some of the reasons given that may have contributed to a higher suicide rate and more reports of depressive feelings.
One thing that has struck me these last several weeks is that the economic and employment news is always dire. But, if only 10% of people are unemployed, that means 90% of us are working! We're focusing on the wrong side of the equation. We need to get past the doom and gloom thinking that the media and our elected officials want us to believe in. We need to find the optimism that is hidden in the suffering. Instead of focusing on the "what's in it for me" victim mentality, we need to gather our strengths and abilities, and use them for the good. We need to empower ourselves to focus on what makes us strong and act accordingly.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Betrayal and Redemption
Flipping through the channels the other night, I caught a special on HBO called “Right America: Feeling Wronged.” While I have mixed feelings about the show, due to the stereotypical presentations of anti-gay, pro-life Christian Conservatives, NASCAR hicks and proud Rednecks, these people spoke the words I’ve been mulling about in my head and heart this last year. I didn’t see myself portrayed, but they spoke a truth that I couldn’t deny. Hearing their words, I thought: these folks are the meat and potatoes of our country. They are what give America its grit and pride. These people are the real deal.
Our beloved country is about to be stolen from us, maybe it’s already been taken from us, and we’re still too numb to know how to respond. When I saw scenes in the program on the campaign trail of the McCain supporters in many different states, I was buoyed yet also very sad. All of these people believed McCain, and our country, would win. They spoke truths about the terrorist threat to our country that our elected officials do not seem to understand. They spoke truths about the state of the economy, about the impact of illegal immigrants on jobs, resources, and on our society, and asked how can we trust our president when we don’t even know for certain if he’s an American citizen.
Listening to talk radio hosts present their side of the story these last few months, I am taken back in time to junior and high school social studies classes, when we studied the birth of our country and what made it so radical. I am awestruck by how far our society has come from the truths and values of our founding fathers. Thomas Jefferson said, “The government is best which governs the least because its people discipline themselves.” We have dumbed down our society. We have forgotten our true values of responsibility, accountability, and the ability to stand on our own two feet. We have forgotten how to be honest, decent, and courteous. We are no longer disciplined. We have sold our souls. For what?
My upbringing was in the birthplace of the American Revolution, in Lexington, Massachusetts. My father was a Common Cause Democrat until he realized that entitlement gets people nowhere. That in order to contribute to society, one must give back, not take, take, take. America gives people the choice to pursue life, liberty, and happiness, but one has to work towards those goals. People need to use their brains and their muscles and utilize the life God has bestowed upon them. It’s one thing to need a helping hand now and then, but to demand that the hand constantly be there is dehumanizing. It robs us of choices, because that helping hand always comes at a steep price, with strings attached.
I am angry at the way our elders, our soldiers, and our children are being treated in this country. People who have worked their entire lives are facing hardships and may soon be denied medical care because some government body is going to make their health decisions. Our soldiers’ sacrifices are disrespected by our government and by people in this country who don’t understand that we have to fight for what we believe in. Our children are being cheated by parents who have no idea how to effectively raise them, then they are sent off to school where they are expected to memorize “facts” about climate change and the liberal agenda. Why aren’t our children being taught how to think for themselves, presented with all sides of the story, and guided towards expressing themselves knowledgably and effectively?
I am sad, I feel duped, and I feel betrayed. Where are all these McCain supporters now? Where are all these angry, betrayed citizens? How can we come together, and figure out how to reclaim what has been taken from us? Our beloved United States of America is being tested in a major transformative way. How will this all look after the dust settles? Who will survive? Could another Civil War be brewing? This time, it’s going to be a lot more complicated since there are many more opposing forces from around the world that are not exactly on our side. Yet, people around the world continue to look towards us to follow their dreams of freedom, to live in peace and to prosper. Are we still that great promise?
Our beloved country is about to be stolen from us, maybe it’s already been taken from us, and we’re still too numb to know how to respond. When I saw scenes in the program on the campaign trail of the McCain supporters in many different states, I was buoyed yet also very sad. All of these people believed McCain, and our country, would win. They spoke truths about the terrorist threat to our country that our elected officials do not seem to understand. They spoke truths about the state of the economy, about the impact of illegal immigrants on jobs, resources, and on our society, and asked how can we trust our president when we don’t even know for certain if he’s an American citizen.
Listening to talk radio hosts present their side of the story these last few months, I am taken back in time to junior and high school social studies classes, when we studied the birth of our country and what made it so radical. I am awestruck by how far our society has come from the truths and values of our founding fathers. Thomas Jefferson said, “The government is best which governs the least because its people discipline themselves.” We have dumbed down our society. We have forgotten our true values of responsibility, accountability, and the ability to stand on our own two feet. We have forgotten how to be honest, decent, and courteous. We are no longer disciplined. We have sold our souls. For what?
My upbringing was in the birthplace of the American Revolution, in Lexington, Massachusetts. My father was a Common Cause Democrat until he realized that entitlement gets people nowhere. That in order to contribute to society, one must give back, not take, take, take. America gives people the choice to pursue life, liberty, and happiness, but one has to work towards those goals. People need to use their brains and their muscles and utilize the life God has bestowed upon them. It’s one thing to need a helping hand now and then, but to demand that the hand constantly be there is dehumanizing. It robs us of choices, because that helping hand always comes at a steep price, with strings attached.
I am angry at the way our elders, our soldiers, and our children are being treated in this country. People who have worked their entire lives are facing hardships and may soon be denied medical care because some government body is going to make their health decisions. Our soldiers’ sacrifices are disrespected by our government and by people in this country who don’t understand that we have to fight for what we believe in. Our children are being cheated by parents who have no idea how to effectively raise them, then they are sent off to school where they are expected to memorize “facts” about climate change and the liberal agenda. Why aren’t our children being taught how to think for themselves, presented with all sides of the story, and guided towards expressing themselves knowledgably and effectively?
I am sad, I feel duped, and I feel betrayed. Where are all these McCain supporters now? Where are all these angry, betrayed citizens? How can we come together, and figure out how to reclaim what has been taken from us? Our beloved United States of America is being tested in a major transformative way. How will this all look after the dust settles? Who will survive? Could another Civil War be brewing? This time, it’s going to be a lot more complicated since there are many more opposing forces from around the world that are not exactly on our side. Yet, people around the world continue to look towards us to follow their dreams of freedom, to live in peace and to prosper. Are we still that great promise?
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Every End is a Beginning
This is a tumultuous time in history. There is more warfare going on than at any other time in my memory. On all of the majorly inhabited continents, opposing forces are hard at work, seeking to restore order as they see it. Every side is working against another--friction, fear, and death are the cries we hear. Polarized nations, civil wars, so much hatred, anger, ignorance, and fear are present.
While technology struggles to stay one step ahead of the curve, there are still masses of people dying of disease and hunger. Though technology reaches many people helping them to live longer lives, it causes a drain on resources as well. How do we change our consciousness in ways that bestows more value on our elders instead of treating them as a burden? In our busy worlds of work where we run around all day like hamsters on a wheel, how does an elder contribute to the world when the body can't quite keep up? And God forbid if the mind goes first. We are then doomed to spend many years locked into an ever-shrinking world. Unbeknownst to us, but painful to our loved ones who have to witness our flashbacks to earlier times that cancel out the other parts of our lives as if we're turning out the lights within each room of ourselves. What do we do with all these people whose lives we are saving?
The end is a beginning. Perhaps that is where we are right now--at a threshold. A big part of me is very sad. I recall more peaceful times when the world was safer and more people died from natural causes than from people killing each other. It's become a place I do not recognize at times--people's lives are stolen from them by greedy, hateful, megalomaniacal, or fanatical leaders, or they sabotage themselves by continued victimization and powerlessness.
What's happened to our values of self-responsibility, decency, respect, and honesty? We are headed for another civil war in this country--there is a divisive force within, threatening to cause class wars and political unrest. The victims of everything and anything will be taken care of by Big Daddy because he promised them he would. Those who have more will be forced to continuously feed those who have less in this bottomless pit of endless needs.
Instead of putting our hand out to receive our hand out, we have to put our hands out to each other. We are rapidly and painfully crashing towards a new world order. There are more people demanding more from our planet's resources. The economy is a force we are unable to tame though we consistently attempt to manipulate it and mess it up to an even greater degree. More people are competing in this global market, resulting in more power struggles and greater chaos.
They say "money makes the world go round" but does it? What power is held in these pieces of colored paper, colored metal discs, and plastic cards? What is this made-up construct of "you give me your energy and I will exchange it for paper with numbers on it that you can use to procure what you need"? What does this mean for us as individuals, and for society to give our life energy for money?
Some people will have more than others, and many of these people achieved more because they were in the right place at the right time and worked hard (luck and preparation). Some peole will have more than others because they came about it dishonestly, or unfairly, trampling on people on their way up. Some people will have less, due to many circumstances out of their control: illness, mental or physical ability, poverty, all play a role. What is immoral is the greed, laziness, or victimhood that is used to bypass the code of human decency in order to "get more".
We have come to a point in history where it's time to grow up. To take responsiblity for ourselves, to treat each other, the world, and our selves, with respect, rather than trying to force things on each other. I am sad about how we have come to treat one another. I'm wondering how this will all resolve. What is the right way to be in the world today? What will survive? What needs to die? How can each of us contribute to this process? How can we be the people we were meant to be? This is our only shot; how do we make it count?
While technology struggles to stay one step ahead of the curve, there are still masses of people dying of disease and hunger. Though technology reaches many people helping them to live longer lives, it causes a drain on resources as well. How do we change our consciousness in ways that bestows more value on our elders instead of treating them as a burden? In our busy worlds of work where we run around all day like hamsters on a wheel, how does an elder contribute to the world when the body can't quite keep up? And God forbid if the mind goes first. We are then doomed to spend many years locked into an ever-shrinking world. Unbeknownst to us, but painful to our loved ones who have to witness our flashbacks to earlier times that cancel out the other parts of our lives as if we're turning out the lights within each room of ourselves. What do we do with all these people whose lives we are saving?
The end is a beginning. Perhaps that is where we are right now--at a threshold. A big part of me is very sad. I recall more peaceful times when the world was safer and more people died from natural causes than from people killing each other. It's become a place I do not recognize at times--people's lives are stolen from them by greedy, hateful, megalomaniacal, or fanatical leaders, or they sabotage themselves by continued victimization and powerlessness.
What's happened to our values of self-responsibility, decency, respect, and honesty? We are headed for another civil war in this country--there is a divisive force within, threatening to cause class wars and political unrest. The victims of everything and anything will be taken care of by Big Daddy because he promised them he would. Those who have more will be forced to continuously feed those who have less in this bottomless pit of endless needs.
Instead of putting our hand out to receive our hand out, we have to put our hands out to each other. We are rapidly and painfully crashing towards a new world order. There are more people demanding more from our planet's resources. The economy is a force we are unable to tame though we consistently attempt to manipulate it and mess it up to an even greater degree. More people are competing in this global market, resulting in more power struggles and greater chaos.
They say "money makes the world go round" but does it? What power is held in these pieces of colored paper, colored metal discs, and plastic cards? What is this made-up construct of "you give me your energy and I will exchange it for paper with numbers on it that you can use to procure what you need"? What does this mean for us as individuals, and for society to give our life energy for money?
Some people will have more than others, and many of these people achieved more because they were in the right place at the right time and worked hard (luck and preparation). Some peole will have more than others because they came about it dishonestly, or unfairly, trampling on people on their way up. Some people will have less, due to many circumstances out of their control: illness, mental or physical ability, poverty, all play a role. What is immoral is the greed, laziness, or victimhood that is used to bypass the code of human decency in order to "get more".
We have come to a point in history where it's time to grow up. To take responsiblity for ourselves, to treat each other, the world, and our selves, with respect, rather than trying to force things on each other. I am sad about how we have come to treat one another. I'm wondering how this will all resolve. What is the right way to be in the world today? What will survive? What needs to die? How can each of us contribute to this process? How can we be the people we were meant to be? This is our only shot; how do we make it count?
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Back to Basics
Every day I hear more sad news about people losing a job, or their home, or they can't keep their pets, or they have a health crisis and lack insurance since they lost their jobs. It really makes me feel blessed that things are ok in my world at this point in time, but it also leaves me with plenty of questions.
In no other time that I myself have lived through has there been so much glut, so much consumption, and so much entitlement. There is conspicuous consumption all around me, and even I am guilty of that. I have 3 televisions in my house! When I was growing up, we had one. Where I live, when children reach the age when they can drive, their parents by them a new car! When I was growing up, I had to use my mother's car, and didn't have my own car until I graduated college. That car was my grandmother's 1973 Dodge Dart that drove like a tank and looked like one too. If I am hungry and want a quick meal, I have many choices of drive-in restaurants, and don't even have to cook at home.
With consumerism and technology exploding around us, life was going to be easier and more convenient, kind of like the Jetsons! However, I believe life has become more complex. We have far more choices than we need. We have far more things available to us that we are told will make our lives better (video game systems, entertainment systems, cars that do nearly everything, appliances that we can't live without, etc). We spend more time connected to a cell phone, blackberry, or computer than to the person standing right in front of us. Some technology is good and helpful and even life-saving, unless it has lots of side effects (like all those drugs advertised on television, and in magazines). But, because something is available doesn't mean we need to jump on the bandwagon and take advantage of it.
Perhaps this shake-up in our global economy will help us get back to basics. We don't need five Wal-marts in one town. We don't need a Starbucks on every corner. We don't need alot of stores all selling the same things. True, this has kept many people employed, but only while we were spending our hard-earned dollars. I believe it's time to cut back, regroup, and reassess what we really need to be happy.
We don't need "things" but we do need each other. What are some ways that you can think of that will help you reconnect with your children, your families, your neighbors? In these dismal times, fear often takes hold, and we need to be working with and supporting each other. Instead of grabbing a bite at the local fast food joint, make dinner at home, invite the neighbors for a potluck, nothing fancy, but make it a time to get together with your loved ones. You'll save some money, and increase the good will.
Turn off the tv, take a walk, borrow books from your friends, go to a park, make your greeting cards instead of buying them, be creative in ways to help you feel more in control and less fearful. I'm not saying we should all hunker down and hibernate, but be more cognizant and aware of our actions. Save resources, not because it's become the latest craze, but because it's a way to be less heavy-handed. Turn off lights and other appliances when they are not in use, use less than you really have to when it comes to water and other resources, and treat the place where you live in a respectful way. Become more aware of your impact and leave the world a better place than how you found it, if for no other reason than you are blessed to be alive here in this place at this moment in time.
When I start fearing that too much of my life is out of my control, I don't watch the news or read the newspaper as it adds to my stress level. I keep healthy by watching what I eat, exercising, and spending time doing the things I love. If you are about to lose your job, or think that it might be in jeopardy, start thinking out of the box and reassess your interests, talents and skills and figure out other ways to use them. Cut back on the things that you really don't need, and be honest with yourself. We have so much in our lives that it's too easy to get caught up in needs vs. wants.
In no other time that I myself have lived through has there been so much glut, so much consumption, and so much entitlement. There is conspicuous consumption all around me, and even I am guilty of that. I have 3 televisions in my house! When I was growing up, we had one. Where I live, when children reach the age when they can drive, their parents by them a new car! When I was growing up, I had to use my mother's car, and didn't have my own car until I graduated college. That car was my grandmother's 1973 Dodge Dart that drove like a tank and looked like one too. If I am hungry and want a quick meal, I have many choices of drive-in restaurants, and don't even have to cook at home.
With consumerism and technology exploding around us, life was going to be easier and more convenient, kind of like the Jetsons! However, I believe life has become more complex. We have far more choices than we need. We have far more things available to us that we are told will make our lives better (video game systems, entertainment systems, cars that do nearly everything, appliances that we can't live without, etc). We spend more time connected to a cell phone, blackberry, or computer than to the person standing right in front of us. Some technology is good and helpful and even life-saving, unless it has lots of side effects (like all those drugs advertised on television, and in magazines). But, because something is available doesn't mean we need to jump on the bandwagon and take advantage of it.
Perhaps this shake-up in our global economy will help us get back to basics. We don't need five Wal-marts in one town. We don't need a Starbucks on every corner. We don't need alot of stores all selling the same things. True, this has kept many people employed, but only while we were spending our hard-earned dollars. I believe it's time to cut back, regroup, and reassess what we really need to be happy.
We don't need "things" but we do need each other. What are some ways that you can think of that will help you reconnect with your children, your families, your neighbors? In these dismal times, fear often takes hold, and we need to be working with and supporting each other. Instead of grabbing a bite at the local fast food joint, make dinner at home, invite the neighbors for a potluck, nothing fancy, but make it a time to get together with your loved ones. You'll save some money, and increase the good will.
Turn off the tv, take a walk, borrow books from your friends, go to a park, make your greeting cards instead of buying them, be creative in ways to help you feel more in control and less fearful. I'm not saying we should all hunker down and hibernate, but be more cognizant and aware of our actions. Save resources, not because it's become the latest craze, but because it's a way to be less heavy-handed. Turn off lights and other appliances when they are not in use, use less than you really have to when it comes to water and other resources, and treat the place where you live in a respectful way. Become more aware of your impact and leave the world a better place than how you found it, if for no other reason than you are blessed to be alive here in this place at this moment in time.
When I start fearing that too much of my life is out of my control, I don't watch the news or read the newspaper as it adds to my stress level. I keep healthy by watching what I eat, exercising, and spending time doing the things I love. If you are about to lose your job, or think that it might be in jeopardy, start thinking out of the box and reassess your interests, talents and skills and figure out other ways to use them. Cut back on the things that you really don't need, and be honest with yourself. We have so much in our lives that it's too easy to get caught up in needs vs. wants.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
What in the World is Going On Here?
How is it possible that in today's world, we are still killing our children? By that, I don't necessarily mean abortion. Instead of aborting a fetus, parents are waiting years to rid themselves of the burden. The innocent babe is birthed and raised, growing older and more aware of its world. Then, slowly, almost imperceptibly, these precious gems are slowly crushed under the weight of the anger/fear/shame that the parents refuse to let go of. In war, we kill off part of our future when our children die. We simply cannot continue to do this. And we can no longer stand by as it occurs. We need to act.
Just this week, in LA, a man killed his 5 children, his wife and himself. The couple was in desperate financial and legal trouble. For whatever reasons, they felt the only alternative was to kill their offspring and escape their responsiblities. They had a choice, their children did not. In rural Missouri, a man raped his daughter for 5 years, impregnating her four times. Two of those children were found in coolers, another was suspected of being buried in another state, and one child is in state custody. The father had a choice. His daughters (and grandchildren) did not. What in the world is going on here?
Counter to those horrific, meaningless tragedies, a young woman, also from the LA area gave birth to only the second set of live-birth octuplets in recorded history. Turns out that she already has 6 children, lives with her parents, and we don't know a) where the father is, b) who is paying for her babies' stay in the NICU, and c) who gave her the fertility drugs in the first place? What does this tell us about our society? Does it indicate our level of collective guilt over child murder/endangerment so we let certain women give birth to a "shoe-ful" of children, then we as a society need to support them in ways over and above what we might consider reasonable? Where does the responsibility of the young woman, the father, their parents, and her doctor come into play? What in the world is going on here?
Why are we so screwed up when it comes to raising our children? Why do some children turn out "well" and other ones grow into evil, selfish, messed-up human beings? When does the cycle end? What might we need to do to be better parents to our kids? What peace do we need to make with our ghosts so that we will lead our lives with integrity? What ways can we help another and pass on the wisdom we have gained?
Now don't get me started on how we treat our elders.
Just this week, in LA, a man killed his 5 children, his wife and himself. The couple was in desperate financial and legal trouble. For whatever reasons, they felt the only alternative was to kill their offspring and escape their responsiblities. They had a choice, their children did not. In rural Missouri, a man raped his daughter for 5 years, impregnating her four times. Two of those children were found in coolers, another was suspected of being buried in another state, and one child is in state custody. The father had a choice. His daughters (and grandchildren) did not. What in the world is going on here?
Counter to those horrific, meaningless tragedies, a young woman, also from the LA area gave birth to only the second set of live-birth octuplets in recorded history. Turns out that she already has 6 children, lives with her parents, and we don't know a) where the father is, b) who is paying for her babies' stay in the NICU, and c) who gave her the fertility drugs in the first place? What does this tell us about our society? Does it indicate our level of collective guilt over child murder/endangerment so we let certain women give birth to a "shoe-ful" of children, then we as a society need to support them in ways over and above what we might consider reasonable? Where does the responsibility of the young woman, the father, their parents, and her doctor come into play? What in the world is going on here?
Why are we so screwed up when it comes to raising our children? Why do some children turn out "well" and other ones grow into evil, selfish, messed-up human beings? When does the cycle end? What might we need to do to be better parents to our kids? What peace do we need to make with our ghosts so that we will lead our lives with integrity? What ways can we help another and pass on the wisdom we have gained?
Now don't get me started on how we treat our elders.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
A New World? Or just the same old thing...
The King has been crowned. Now it's time to get to work. Now we'll begin to see what our new president is really all about. If he "walks the talk". How he's going to insert his influence into our daily lives, and how our leaders will influence us and the rest of the world.
The economy is out of his control. It's a lumbering ox that reacts and responds to the environment around it, and there's not alot we can do to influence that. We can muck it up with our interference, but given a chance, it rights itself and continues its cycle. Kind of like global warming... the planet is going to do what it's going to do, in cycle with the universe surrounding us. If we try to influence it, we'll muck that up too, and hurt ourselves in the process. Hey, whatever happened to just conserving resources, because it makes the resources last longer and go further? Why is there all this morality suddenly attached to using cloth bags over plastic, or turning lights off when you're not in a room? My father taught me that 30 years ago! I guess we were ahead of our time, and the rest of the world had to catch up.
But, I digress. Why has the mainstream media put Mr Obama on a pedestal? Is it because he's cool, he's hip, he's different? Heck, he could be Mr. GQ. He certainly looks different than most of the old white guys who have led our country up to this point. Is it because they want to finally assuage the collective guilt over the racial divide? Mr Obama is not the first black president we've had. He's the first BIRACIAL president we've ever had. That fact was conveniently forgotten. The black part was stressed. Isn't that kind of a slap in the face to his mother? I think that all the people who voted for him (or not) BECAUSE he's BLACK are racist. The people who didn't care what color he is, and voted for him because he represents integrity and self-responsibilty are the truly color-blind among us. If our country, and our media were truly color-blind, they wouldn't have made such a big deal about his race. He would be judged on the content of his character, not his complexion. We as a people really have a lot of work to do if we make this a pinnacle event... there are dark-skinned rulers, and even women leading countries around the world, and it's just matter of fact.
What were the multitudes of inaugural attendees thinking and hoping as they froze their patooties off? That our new king is going to pay off their house? Give them a job? Give them free health care? I hope not. They will be sorely disappointed. Nothing is free, and nothing comes without hard work. I was happy to hear him speak about self-responsibility. I was happy to hear him speak about service. In that, he echoed JFK's speech: Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country. I hope all those people heard that message. I hope they don't expect the government to bail them out, too. If we leave it up to the government to create jobs, it will create more government to oversee those jobs, and we will pay more out of our hard-earned paychecks.
I'm disgusted at the amount of money that was spent throughout the entire process, money that could have gone to other more worthy resources. But, that's now water under the bridge. I hope the mainstream media is happy now that their man is at the helm, and they can maybe do some serious, down to earth reporting of events without continually casting our new president in a messianic light. For if they persist in that, we will all be incredibly dissapointed when he lets us down, which of course he will, because Mr Obama is just a human being. He's not Jesus, he's not Elijah, he's just Barack.
Time will tell if he really is any more effective than any other president we've had.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Just for Today
Willpower. Discipline. Self-Control. In Hebrew, the term zrizus means "joyful willpower". I don't know about you, but I get mixed feelings when I hear any of those three words. Sometimes, I want to run the other way, since to buckle down and get something done is the last thing I want to do. Procrastinate! Enjoy Freedom! Have Fun!
But there are other times when I willfully, even joyfully, embrace my willpower. When I exercise control over my impulses, such as when I am working out at the gym. At my age, there are definitely days when it's the last place I want to be, but know that in order to help my body maintain peak efficiency, I need to be there. I'll be on the treadmill or the elliptical, plodding along, and notice that it's taking alot of effort to get going. Dismally, I see my remaining time is way less than halfway finished... so, summoning up my zrizus, I tell myself "one more minute" and see if I can do just one more minute. Or on a machine, can I do one more lift? Just one more... it's such a miniscule amount. But, if I keep telling myself, just one more, and do it just one more time, before I know it, I've accomplished my goal! And I really feel good about that. I might even be "in the zone!" In the Zrizus Zone!
Many self-help groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, and even Reiki practitioners use the mantra "Just for Today, I will_____" and fill in the blank with some action that is difficult to do, such as "be open" or "let go" or "not get mad at little things" or "not try to change what cannot be changed", etc. But sometimes, "Today" is too big a bite to manage, so reduce it down to "Just for this minute..." The reason is that big changes are often too difficult or too threatening, so they must be broken down into more easily digested bites. Baby steps add up over time. Think of it as "One Degree of Change", and by that I mean when you set your course, if you are off by only one degree, over time you will end up in a completely different place than you had planned.
But there are other times when I willfully, even joyfully, embrace my willpower. When I exercise control over my impulses, such as when I am working out at the gym. At my age, there are definitely days when it's the last place I want to be, but know that in order to help my body maintain peak efficiency, I need to be there. I'll be on the treadmill or the elliptical, plodding along, and notice that it's taking alot of effort to get going. Dismally, I see my remaining time is way less than halfway finished... so, summoning up my zrizus, I tell myself "one more minute" and see if I can do just one more minute. Or on a machine, can I do one more lift? Just one more... it's such a miniscule amount. But, if I keep telling myself, just one more, and do it just one more time, before I know it, I've accomplished my goal! And I really feel good about that. I might even be "in the zone!" In the Zrizus Zone!
Many self-help groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, and even Reiki practitioners use the mantra "Just for Today, I will_____" and fill in the blank with some action that is difficult to do, such as "be open" or "let go" or "not get mad at little things" or "not try to change what cannot be changed", etc. But sometimes, "Today" is too big a bite to manage, so reduce it down to "Just for this minute..." The reason is that big changes are often too difficult or too threatening, so they must be broken down into more easily digested bites. Baby steps add up over time. Think of it as "One Degree of Change", and by that I mean when you set your course, if you are off by only one degree, over time you will end up in a completely different place than you had planned.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Children-Our Legacy
OK, I admit this is a questionable photo of my son and me. DCF might want to investigate my readiness to adequately raise a child according to the rules and morals of our western culture. At the time, the bottle was a great pacifier. Notice it wasn't tipped to allow him a sip. Regardless, my son has grown into a highly responsible and highly regarded young man of 21 years old. My husband and I did something right to ensure that. We were given a blank canvas when he was born, a composite of human "clay" that was perfect, and it was up to us to fashion that "human clay" into a polite, intelligent, and vibrant person who would contribute to society.
But, how do you do that effectively when you are going through personal and marital challenges, compounded by the demands of the outside world? When you are out in the world to make a name for yourself, and also inside a marriage as you learn to get along with another person who has quirky needs, how do you deal with that pressure, all the while ensuring that your child grow into a responsible and loving individual?
I always thought that motherhood (and fatherhood) brings out the best and worst in a person. I recall one horrible week when Arthur was in the midst of the Terrible Twos. Every day had been a battle, and this child who was always happy and agreeable had transformed into a small beast that growled and stomped and tantrummed. One day, I was pushed to The Edge. The edge that some people cross where they cause harm to their child's body and soul. It scared the hell out of me. As I sat on the floor next to him, both of us crying in pain and frustration, it dawned on me that no matter how educated or rich I was, I was reduced to the barest minimum of a human being. Thank God I had the sanity and strength of self to not cross that line. It made me think twice about how lucky my upbringing was so that I could separate Arthur from his behavior, and figure out how to get us both out of that horrible place.
As children, we're supposed to honor our parents, but what does it say about parents taking care of their children? What happens when parents neglect the physical and emotional health of their children, due to personal inadequacies which prevent them from thinking straight? I read an article about a teenager whose mother has cerebral palsy and whose father has developmental disabilities, but is otherwise functional. She has managed to graduate high school, yet still is able to take care of her parents, with whom she shares an incredibly close and rich relationship. The three of them have overcome major personal difficulties, and the parents were able to raise a wonderful, giving young woman who is planning to go on to college and become a teacher.
Our children teach us to be better than we think we can be. They also remind us of our failings. We can be better human beings when we take our parenting seriously. It is imperative for us as grown-ups to prepare our progeny the best way we can, as they are our future leaders. I find that in addition to all the activities we engage in together, it's in the quiet times before bed, or eating breakfast together, where we can pass on nuggets of wisdom. It's also in the way I treat my spouse that best shows my son how to get along with another person, even if we are in conflict. We shouldn't shelter our children from the consequences of our and their actions as we interact with life around us, for these are the life lessons they will require as they become adults. Our children are not our possessions; they are on loan to us, and it's our responsibility to them to show them how to be in the world.
You can get great parents who raise bad children, and you can get bad parents whose children demonstrate remarkable resilience and develop into giving and happy adults. We can do only the best we can in the moment. We are going to do something to our kids that will result in some scar tissue within them, but that's how they grow. If your parents' behavior resulted in some wound you can't seem to recover from, seek help. You'll be a better person for it, and a better parent. Mistakes are good, that's how we learn. But own up to them, be a model for your kids, and become more of who you were put on this earth to be. That is the legacy you can pass on to your children.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Gifted Souls
I came across a beautiful quote that appeared on my facebook page today and it really spoke to me:
Gifted souls enter this world and shine. All that surround them bathe in their light and their beauty. And when they are gone, their light is missed.
Challenged souls enter, stumble and fall. They pick themselves up and fall again. Eventually, they climb to a higher tier, where more stumbling blocks await them. Their accomplishments often go unnoticed—although their stumbling is obvious to all.
But by the time they leave, new paths have been forged, obstacles leveled, and life itself has gained a new clarity for all those yet to enter.
Both are pure souls, G-dly in essence. But while the gifted shine their light from Above, the challenged meet the enemy on its own ground. Any real change in this world is only on their account.
Provided by the Chabad.org - The WEB2.0 portal for everything Jewish
We know both kinds of souls. Some of us are brilliant, and live a charmed life where our greatest wishes, hopes, and dreams seem to come true with almost no effort on our part. We shine our tremendous light on others. We are charismatic, ebullient, almost too bright but always warmly welcomed for the energy we bestow on others.
Then, there's the rest of us. We stumble through life, tripping over ourselves or each other, and hopefully learning as we go. What's sad is that more often we seem to focus on the stumbling part, rather than the goals and knowledge that we have achieved. Injured souls seem to make the most creative people, for it seems that out of their pain comes the most intense beauty. Wounded healers are these stumbling souls, who have come through their pain and through the tunnel, and can pass on their wisdom to others if they are so inclined. These are the souls who truly change the world, as they have been to the depths and have returned with great gifts.
What type of soul are you? Who in your life is one of the Gifted? Who in your life is one of the Challenged? What can you learn from them?
Gifted souls enter this world and shine. All that surround them bathe in their light and their beauty. And when they are gone, their light is missed.
Challenged souls enter, stumble and fall. They pick themselves up and fall again. Eventually, they climb to a higher tier, where more stumbling blocks await them. Their accomplishments often go unnoticed—although their stumbling is obvious to all.
But by the time they leave, new paths have been forged, obstacles leveled, and life itself has gained a new clarity for all those yet to enter.
Both are pure souls, G-dly in essence. But while the gifted shine their light from Above, the challenged meet the enemy on its own ground. Any real change in this world is only on their account.
Provided by the Chabad.org - The WEB2.0 portal for everything Jewish
We know both kinds of souls. Some of us are brilliant, and live a charmed life where our greatest wishes, hopes, and dreams seem to come true with almost no effort on our part. We shine our tremendous light on others. We are charismatic, ebullient, almost too bright but always warmly welcomed for the energy we bestow on others.
Then, there's the rest of us. We stumble through life, tripping over ourselves or each other, and hopefully learning as we go. What's sad is that more often we seem to focus on the stumbling part, rather than the goals and knowledge that we have achieved. Injured souls seem to make the most creative people, for it seems that out of their pain comes the most intense beauty. Wounded healers are these stumbling souls, who have come through their pain and through the tunnel, and can pass on their wisdom to others if they are so inclined. These are the souls who truly change the world, as they have been to the depths and have returned with great gifts.
What type of soul are you? Who in your life is one of the Gifted? Who in your life is one of the Challenged? What can you learn from them?
Private Time
How do you make time "stand still"? Our lives seem to be so busy, full of activity and experiences and relationships, that time seems to speed by. All of a sudden, a week has passed and I feel that I've left things by the wayside. My plants aren't fertilized, dust balls collect in the corners, books go unread, craft projects stay in my head.... the list is almost endless. I wonder what happens to my time, and the way I spend it. Often, my time is filled with obligations, such as work or a meeting. Dinner becomes the only time my family is together, so we make the most of it.
But, what happens in my own private time? How can I make that more meaningful, and make it feel weightier, so that I don't feel cheated, or feel that time is whizzing right by me? What choices can I make that will allow me to feel my life is more sacred, more spiritual, and less splintered?
But, what happens in my own private time? How can I make that more meaningful, and make it feel weightier, so that I don't feel cheated, or feel that time is whizzing right by me? What choices can I make that will allow me to feel my life is more sacred, more spiritual, and less splintered?
Freedom & Gratitude
Here in America, it is the 4th of July. It is our Independence Day. Many countries celebrate their own Independence Day. They are honoring the fact that whatever force that held them down is no longer controlling them and they can be free. Free to make their own decisions, however these decisions play out.
I know we in this country take our freedom for granted. We are born into it (many of us) and don't realize the true price for being able to say and do pretty much what we want, as long as we don't physically or otherwise harm another individual. I've known some people who immigrated here, and do not take our freedoms for granted at all. They worked very hard to attain citizenship, and they know what it's like to not have the power to exercise their freedom to do as they wish.
Our freedom is not free. There are many people all over the world who hate America and perhaps think of us as spoiled children, and sometimes we act that way. But, being able to express ourselves in almost infinite ways lends itself to being a bullseye for other less free people. They view our excesses and wish to condemn us, saying we are evil. When we have to defend ourselves in order to maintain our freedoms, that's when we realize that freedom costs us. For some, it costs them their lives.
This weekend, I am going to be doing the usual celebrating with cookouts and fireworks, friends, and music. But, I'll also be praying gratefully for the life I have and the endless freedoms that I enjoy. No one is standing over me, telling me what I have to wear, think, do, or say. If I get an idea in my head to do something, I can accomplish it with some hard work and I'll grow in the process. Freedom means growth and evolving, becoming more of my self. Without it, I stifle and die.
I know we in this country take our freedom for granted. We are born into it (many of us) and don't realize the true price for being able to say and do pretty much what we want, as long as we don't physically or otherwise harm another individual. I've known some people who immigrated here, and do not take our freedoms for granted at all. They worked very hard to attain citizenship, and they know what it's like to not have the power to exercise their freedom to do as they wish.
Our freedom is not free. There are many people all over the world who hate America and perhaps think of us as spoiled children, and sometimes we act that way. But, being able to express ourselves in almost infinite ways lends itself to being a bullseye for other less free people. They view our excesses and wish to condemn us, saying we are evil. When we have to defend ourselves in order to maintain our freedoms, that's when we realize that freedom costs us. For some, it costs them their lives.
This weekend, I am going to be doing the usual celebrating with cookouts and fireworks, friends, and music. But, I'll also be praying gratefully for the life I have and the endless freedoms that I enjoy. No one is standing over me, telling me what I have to wear, think, do, or say. If I get an idea in my head to do something, I can accomplish it with some hard work and I'll grow in the process. Freedom means growth and evolving, becoming more of my self. Without it, I stifle and die.
Being Grateful Despite your Expectations!
Gratefulness--what is it really?
Last night, I had to opportunity to attend a lovely outdoor concert on a gorgeous summer night. I met someone new, and reconnected with two old friends. The music was great, the company superb; indeed the entire experience leaves me with a smile. Instead of focusing on the heat, the crowd, the very slowness of our dinner arriving, causing us to miss part of the concert which all could've ended up spoiling the evening, I decided to focus on the positives.
Being grateful is all about focusing on the positive, even if there are some issues that don't meet with your expectations. Actually, having specific expectations, rather than being open to whatever happens, predisposes you to be disappointed when those expectations go unmet. Of course, it doesn't mean letting someone trample all over you. You must stick up for yourself when the situation warrants. Staying open to whatever happens, focusing on the positive, and being grateful for the entire experience causes your heart and soul to open, nurturing your growth in this universe. HaShem is there in all our moments, and for this alone, we are grateful!
Last night, I had to opportunity to attend a lovely outdoor concert on a gorgeous summer night. I met someone new, and reconnected with two old friends. The music was great, the company superb; indeed the entire experience leaves me with a smile. Instead of focusing on the heat, the crowd, the very slowness of our dinner arriving, causing us to miss part of the concert which all could've ended up spoiling the evening, I decided to focus on the positives.
Being grateful is all about focusing on the positive, even if there are some issues that don't meet with your expectations. Actually, having specific expectations, rather than being open to whatever happens, predisposes you to be disappointed when those expectations go unmet. Of course, it doesn't mean letting someone trample all over you. You must stick up for yourself when the situation warrants. Staying open to whatever happens, focusing on the positive, and being grateful for the entire experience causes your heart and soul to open, nurturing your growth in this universe. HaShem is there in all our moments, and for this alone, we are grateful!
Giving and Receiving
This week is the Jewish festival of Shavuot, when the Jewish people received the Torah from God at Mt. Sinai. It's not just that we were "given" these laws, which have become adopted by most western cultures as the way to live as human beings. But that our ancestors opened up their minds, hearts, souls to "receiving" these laws. We are given many things in life: a diagnosis, a pink slip, a good grade, a raise, a new office, an opportunity.... But, how are these various things received by us???
What do we do with what we are given? How open are we at the time they are given? Many things we earn, but some things come to us unbidden (at least consciously). When you look back on your life and focus on the gifts that have been given to you, what was your response in receiving?
What do we do with what we are given? How open are we at the time they are given? Many things we earn, but some things come to us unbidden (at least consciously). When you look back on your life and focus on the gifts that have been given to you, what was your response in receiving?
Blessings, Hebrew Style
Berachot. Barchu. Baruch. Hebrew words that connote Blessing. In Sufi, the word means having a sense of divine presence, and indeed these prayers of Thanksgiving and Praise we recite give us words to label and take notice of the divine presence that exists in every moment.
These prayers originated during the time of Ezra, created by the Rabbis who formed the synagogue. We say Berachot at all points during the day, upon awakening and dressing, before and after meals, when retiring at night, when reading from Scripture, during life's big rituals (b'nai mitzvot, betrothals, weddings, bris ceremonies and funerals), when we encounter natural phenomena, at the new moon, when escaping peril, and more personal blessings when we encounter the divine presence in our lives. There are actually 100 Berachot to be said during one's day (see The JewishEncyclopedia.com, Benedictions for the list).
Though there are many prayers that have been written for us to recite, it is often the heartfelt prayer of Thanksgiving and Praise that means the most to me. I am aware of the divine presence in my life, but it's kind of "under the radar." When a moment brings me face-to-face with the direct impact of "divine" and "normal, every day stuff" then I really take notice. Such as when I avoid a car accident, or see someone I haven't seen in a very long time, or witness a gorgeous once-in-a-lifetime sunrise or sunset.
These prayers originated during the time of Ezra, created by the Rabbis who formed the synagogue. We say Berachot at all points during the day, upon awakening and dressing, before and after meals, when retiring at night, when reading from Scripture, during life's big rituals (b'nai mitzvot, betrothals, weddings, bris ceremonies and funerals), when we encounter natural phenomena, at the new moon, when escaping peril, and more personal blessings when we encounter the divine presence in our lives. There are actually 100 Berachot to be said during one's day (see The JewishEncyclopedia.com, Benedictions for the list).
Though there are many prayers that have been written for us to recite, it is often the heartfelt prayer of Thanksgiving and Praise that means the most to me. I am aware of the divine presence in my life, but it's kind of "under the radar." When a moment brings me face-to-face with the direct impact of "divine" and "normal, every day stuff" then I really take notice. Such as when I avoid a car accident, or see someone I haven't seen in a very long time, or witness a gorgeous once-in-a-lifetime sunrise or sunset.
May Your Memory Be a Blessing
When we die, there is an expression: "May his/her memory be a blessing." What does it take for us to live a life that others will remember as a blessing? When we are gone from this earth, how will others remember us? How do we live our lives in a way that blesses the universe, HaShem, our loved ones, and ourselves?
Support through Suffering
Today I received a distressing email from a very dear friend about her young son. Their names have been on the prayer list for a long time now, so that is a good thing. Her note made me want to jump on a plane to go out to see her, but that was just a wish. There's not much I can do about the situation, other than pray for her, and her family. I felt so powerless. The nagging feeling of being not in any control of the situation by any stretch of the imagination bogged me down all afternoon. On my way home from work, I pondered the facts and my hopes, wishes and feelings, and realized I just had to let go. It's not in my hands, I just have to trust that they will get through this (and they will). I can lend her moral support and a shoulder to cry on, but being a continent away, that's about all I can do. If we lived closer, I'm not sure what more I could do other than physically be there for her...
Why is it so very, very easy for most of us to get caught up in hoping to find the solution, so that suffering is minimized and life happily goes on when things get really complicated and painful? Who are we to take on that role of savior? Who are we to feel that we are all powerful and can fix it? I kept reminding myself that God brought them to this, God will get them through this. The only thing I can do is offer my heartfelt support. I thought that even if I had alot of money and could send it to them to cover the expenses, that could somehow change the balance of our friendship and what would I really be accomplishing? We are all given our burdens to get through, and as we make our way through them, over the bumps and twists and turns, we grow stronger, and our souls grow more refined.
It's not that I welcome struggle.... but I know there is treasure to be found deep inside the pain, once I can find my way to it.
Why is it so very, very easy for most of us to get caught up in hoping to find the solution, so that suffering is minimized and life happily goes on when things get really complicated and painful? Who are we to take on that role of savior? Who are we to feel that we are all powerful and can fix it? I kept reminding myself that God brought them to this, God will get them through this. The only thing I can do is offer my heartfelt support. I thought that even if I had alot of money and could send it to them to cover the expenses, that could somehow change the balance of our friendship and what would I really be accomplishing? We are all given our burdens to get through, and as we make our way through them, over the bumps and twists and turns, we grow stronger, and our souls grow more refined.
It's not that I welcome struggle.... but I know there is treasure to be found deep inside the pain, once I can find my way to it.
Your New Beginning
Rabbi Nachman's Outpouring of the Soul translated by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan is one of my favorite little books to grab when I need a lift and some reassurance. It's like a pocket book for the soul. I can tuck it into my tote bag when I go to work, open it up to any page, and find solace and serenity in R. Nachman's thoughts and ideas. Today, I opened to #45, A New Beginning:
"When meditating before God it is good to say, "Today I am beginning to attach myself to You." Whenever you meditate you should make a new beginning. Every continued practice depends strongly on its beginning. Even the philosophers say that no matter what one does, the beginning counts for half (italics mine). Therefore, no matter what, one should always make a new beginning. If one's previous devotion was good, now it will be better. If it was not good, what better reason is there to make a new beginning?"
Though the book is about meditation and communicating with God, if your worldview is that all is connected and one with God, then all of your life is like a meditation. New Beginnings are full of promise, hope and faith. Promise in the future that good will come of this; hope that all will go well; and faith that no matter what, God will provide the strength to get through any struggles and challenges. If each day can be a commitment to a new beginning, you are halfway there! Intention, Kavannah, is half the battle towards making a new beginning. Your actions follow your thoughts, and how you perceive something can change, hence you can change your actions towards your self and others in your life.
When I was a counselor, I helped my clients find their "One Degree of Change." Like a ship's compass, if you are one degree off course, over time you will end up in a different place. One small degree can have huge consequences! So it is with change: change one small part of your thought towards a situation and act differently than you have been. Over time, see what happens. The first step is your New Beginning.
"When meditating before God it is good to say, "Today I am beginning to attach myself to You." Whenever you meditate you should make a new beginning. Every continued practice depends strongly on its beginning. Even the philosophers say that no matter what one does, the beginning counts for half (italics mine). Therefore, no matter what, one should always make a new beginning. If one's previous devotion was good, now it will be better. If it was not good, what better reason is there to make a new beginning?"
Though the book is about meditation and communicating with God, if your worldview is that all is connected and one with God, then all of your life is like a meditation. New Beginnings are full of promise, hope and faith. Promise in the future that good will come of this; hope that all will go well; and faith that no matter what, God will provide the strength to get through any struggles and challenges. If each day can be a commitment to a new beginning, you are halfway there! Intention, Kavannah, is half the battle towards making a new beginning. Your actions follow your thoughts, and how you perceive something can change, hence you can change your actions towards your self and others in your life.
When I was a counselor, I helped my clients find their "One Degree of Change." Like a ship's compass, if you are one degree off course, over time you will end up in a different place. One small degree can have huge consequences! So it is with change: change one small part of your thought towards a situation and act differently than you have been. Over time, see what happens. The first step is your New Beginning.
Honor your Parents
In the Torah, we are commanded to respect our parents: "Your mother and father shall you revere and my Sabbaths shall you keep. I am HaShem your God" Vayikra 19:3. The Baal HaTurim quoting from the Talmud also says "Three partners create each person--father, mother and God." A lack of respect for one partner could mean a lack of respect for God. Honoring one's parents also teaches one how to honor God.
There are responsibilities incumbent for each side: parents must treat their children with respect, and teach them how to be in the world. If your parents lacked in this part of your upbringing, due to challenges they faced, it doesn't condone their behavior, but there is still the aspect of what they taught you in how to be and act in the world. Sometimes we learn how to be human in spite of our parents' behavior towards us, but most often, we learn how to relate to the world from their lessons. We all do the best we can!
There are responsibilities incumbent for each side: parents must treat their children with respect, and teach them how to be in the world. If your parents lacked in this part of your upbringing, due to challenges they faced, it doesn't condone their behavior, but there is still the aspect of what they taught you in how to be and act in the world. Sometimes we learn how to be human in spite of our parents' behavior towards us, but most often, we learn how to relate to the world from their lessons. We all do the best we can!
Nurture the Nature Within
Contemplate the natural forces of nature; air, earth, fire, and water, which when they are held in check, are aids to our lives. When they are out of control, such as hurricane force winds, or rain/snow storms or floods, or a firestorm, they cause havoc in our world. Instead of harnessing their energies for the good, their massive force is unleashed and we see just how powerless we are in their wake. The only thing we can do in these times is to figure out how we'll survive. And the magic of it is that life goes on. We get another day (most of the time).
In Genesis, it is written "The Almighty said 'Let us make adam/man in our image and likeness." (B'reishit 1:26). Many interpret this by saying that we contain all of the universe within us. If this is so, then we have all of the elemental forces of nature within us too. What happens when we keep those forces in check? We lead our lives in balance and calm, using these forces for the good. But, what happens when we are out of balance, and we let our fire burn through the normal defenses that keep it in check? We are apt to overreact, get so angry that we say things we don't mean, and leave destructive emotions in our wake. Where is the balance of the elements out of balance in your life? How can you reign them in? What help do you need from The Almighty?
In Genesis, it is written "The Almighty said 'Let us make adam/man in our image and likeness." (B'reishit 1:26). Many interpret this by saying that we contain all of the universe within us. If this is so, then we have all of the elemental forces of nature within us too. What happens when we keep those forces in check? We lead our lives in balance and calm, using these forces for the good. But, what happens when we are out of balance, and we let our fire burn through the normal defenses that keep it in check? We are apt to overreact, get so angry that we say things we don't mean, and leave destructive emotions in our wake. Where is the balance of the elements out of balance in your life? How can you reign them in? What help do you need from The Almighty?
Every Day is Sacred & Meaningful!
I recently reread a book I found some years ago, Toward a Meaningful Life: The Wisdom of the Rebbe by Menachem Mendel Schneerson, who was head of the Lubavitcher movement for over 40 years and died in the mid-1990s. The book has many practical ideas for bringing more spirituality into one's life and it really got me thinking about the many sacred moments in my day that seem to be mundane, but really aren't.
One chapter focuses on one's daily existence, and how to make it more holy. Start the day by praying, with intention (kavannah), the Jewish morning prayers.
Elohai Neshamah shenatata bi, t'hora hi. (the "i" in "bi" and "hi" rhymes with "he"): The Soul You have placed in me is pure.
OR,
Modah (fem) Modeh (masc) ani l'fanecha, melech chai v'chayyam. Thank you God for restoring my soul to me.
When you sleep, your soul travels. Just before you awaken, if you are to awaken, God places your soul back into your body. For that, be thankful! Then, before you get out of bed, reflect on making the day meaningful, scanning over the things you have scheduled and the approach you want to bring to these encounters.
At night, many people say the Shema. Shema Yisrael, Adonai Eloheynu, Adonai Echad. Hear (Listen Deeply) People of Israel, God/Adonai's Majesty is Everywhere, All United/Whole.
Some say this as "protection" from evil occuring while they sleep. As you lie in bed, before you go to sleep, reflect on the day, reviewing how you used your gifts, where you found purpose, peace, and sacredness in your encounters, and promise yourself to do even better tomorrow.
Just bringing this realization to your consciousness will do much to help you find more peace and holiness in your seemingly mundane encounters and experiences each day. It will also help you feel lighter and more joyful, no matter what might be burdening you.
One chapter focuses on one's daily existence, and how to make it more holy. Start the day by praying, with intention (kavannah), the Jewish morning prayers.
Elohai Neshamah shenatata bi, t'hora hi. (the "i" in "bi" and "hi" rhymes with "he"): The Soul You have placed in me is pure.
OR,
Modah (fem) Modeh (masc) ani l'fanecha, melech chai v'chayyam. Thank you God for restoring my soul to me.
When you sleep, your soul travels. Just before you awaken, if you are to awaken, God places your soul back into your body. For that, be thankful! Then, before you get out of bed, reflect on making the day meaningful, scanning over the things you have scheduled and the approach you want to bring to these encounters.
At night, many people say the Shema. Shema Yisrael, Adonai Eloheynu, Adonai Echad. Hear (Listen Deeply) People of Israel, God/Adonai's Majesty is Everywhere, All United/Whole.
Some say this as "protection" from evil occuring while they sleep. As you lie in bed, before you go to sleep, reflect on the day, reviewing how you used your gifts, where you found purpose, peace, and sacredness in your encounters, and promise yourself to do even better tomorrow.
Just bringing this realization to your consciousness will do much to help you find more peace and holiness in your seemingly mundane encounters and experiences each day. It will also help you feel lighter and more joyful, no matter what might be burdening you.
Harvests
This week, I learned of the deaths of 2 dear friends of my family, both Jewish, who had obviously hoped to be inscribed in the book of life for another year but sadly it didn't happen that way. They may have been in the midst of their own personal harvesting, and however far they progressed, it was far enough on this earth. Neither person was elderly, so it was somewhat unexpected, but both were dealing with physical issues that ultimately claimed their lives. We just never know when it will happen to us, and that's probably a good thing, so that we can make the choice to live each day as if it were our last.
This week, don't sweat the small stuff, make amends where possible, and promise yourself that you will always do your best, whatever that level of "best" is at the time. All times are good times, some are just more challenging than others. When it gets really difficult, take a deep breath, know that there are people out here praying for you, know that HaShem has your best interests at heart, and that your soul is undergoing growth and tempering. You are preparing yourself for even bigger and better experiences.
This week, don't sweat the small stuff, make amends where possible, and promise yourself that you will always do your best, whatever that level of "best" is at the time. All times are good times, some are just more challenging than others. When it gets really difficult, take a deep breath, know that there are people out here praying for you, know that HaShem has your best interests at heart, and that your soul is undergoing growth and tempering. You are preparing yourself for even bigger and better experiences.
Sukkot and Cycles
From Leviticus: "When you have gathered the the income of the land, you shall take for yourselves on the first day the fruit of the goodly trees, branches of palm trees, boughs of thick trees, and willows of the brook, and you shall rejoice before the Lord your God seven days. For seven days you shall dwell in huts... so that your generations will know that I made the children of Israel dwell in huts when I brought them out from the Land of Mitzrayim" (Lev. 23:33-44).
There is so much to glean in this passage! Gathering, Reaping from the growth of God's land, toil and hard work, Rejoicing, Fulfillment after hard work, remembering through the generations what our ancestors accomplished with God's help after leaving Egypt. The cycle is complete, yet still the wheel turns. Dwelling in a hut, while it is protective from the elements to an extent, is only temporary. We're not meant to live in one permanently. And they had to build these huts, as do we, every year. We have LL Bean and Eddie Bauer if we want a tent, but that's not the kind of dwelling we are permitted during Sukkhot. We need to look to Nature to provide our shelter, then apply our muscle and ingenuity to erect it--always open towards the skies. I've always loved this holiday, as it mesmerized me when I was younger. The sukkah always felt cozy, and smelled of pine branches and other green things, was always festively decorated, and it was fun to eat meals in it and pray in it. I'm not sure at that age that I felt what our ancestors experienced, but as I get older, I believe I get a glimmer of their world, if I imagine it hard enough. I can look up at the dark indigo sky at night and see the same constellations. I know what it feels like to be fulfilled after toil, and see the fruits of my labors. Humbling and uplifting, giving me pause to take stock and just bask in the golden glow of a job well done.
Most of us do not live in an agricultural community, so we miss out on the cycles of nature as they pertain to the land as its cultivated by human toil and God's blessings. We may not be able to feel just what the children of Israel felt, but we can still experience the cycle of growth in our lives by the goals we set for ourselves. We plant the seeds, we nurture their growth, and after our toil and favorable conditions, we reap what those seeds have blossomed into, and we grow in the process. Our struggles to live in this world and make something of our lives while we improve the world and hone our souls is akin to the cycle of seasons that permits the goodly trees and other growing things to do their thing.
There is so much to glean in this passage! Gathering, Reaping from the growth of God's land, toil and hard work, Rejoicing, Fulfillment after hard work, remembering through the generations what our ancestors accomplished with God's help after leaving Egypt. The cycle is complete, yet still the wheel turns. Dwelling in a hut, while it is protective from the elements to an extent, is only temporary. We're not meant to live in one permanently. And they had to build these huts, as do we, every year. We have LL Bean and Eddie Bauer if we want a tent, but that's not the kind of dwelling we are permitted during Sukkhot. We need to look to Nature to provide our shelter, then apply our muscle and ingenuity to erect it--always open towards the skies. I've always loved this holiday, as it mesmerized me when I was younger. The sukkah always felt cozy, and smelled of pine branches and other green things, was always festively decorated, and it was fun to eat meals in it and pray in it. I'm not sure at that age that I felt what our ancestors experienced, but as I get older, I believe I get a glimmer of their world, if I imagine it hard enough. I can look up at the dark indigo sky at night and see the same constellations. I know what it feels like to be fulfilled after toil, and see the fruits of my labors. Humbling and uplifting, giving me pause to take stock and just bask in the golden glow of a job well done.
Most of us do not live in an agricultural community, so we miss out on the cycles of nature as they pertain to the land as its cultivated by human toil and God's blessings. We may not be able to feel just what the children of Israel felt, but we can still experience the cycle of growth in our lives by the goals we set for ourselves. We plant the seeds, we nurture their growth, and after our toil and favorable conditions, we reap what those seeds have blossomed into, and we grow in the process. Our struggles to live in this world and make something of our lives while we improve the world and hone our souls is akin to the cycle of seasons that permits the goodly trees and other growing things to do their thing.
The Road Ahead
As you contemplate your life this time of year, and make the promise to yourself to do better, know that most of us are doing a similar reflection and rededication. Times like this are necessary in life to stop and take stock of where you are going, where you have been, and where you would like to go. Of course, all we can say with certaintude is where we have been. We don't know where we are going. We don't know where the road will take us. We don't know God's plan for us. We can set up expectations and goals and pray for certain outcomes, holding out hope that things will work out in our favor. But we just don't know where we'll end up. How often I have said that something I've experienced is so much better than I ever could have imagined. Or that never in my wildest dreams did I expect to find myself in a certain situation.
What does it take to live a life so open to any and all experiences, that we can just roll with life as it unfolds? Like a surfer on the waves, we react and respond to what comes our way, maintaining balance and calm, using whatever resources we have cultivated for this purpose. As you are contemplating your life this holiday, stop and pause and take stock of all that is good. And where you find yourself lacking, pledge to cultivate whatever seeds are necessary to encourage the growth where you need it to be a more responsive and loving human being.
What does it take to live a life so open to any and all experiences, that we can just roll with life as it unfolds? Like a surfer on the waves, we react and respond to what comes our way, maintaining balance and calm, using whatever resources we have cultivated for this purpose. As you are contemplating your life this holiday, stop and pause and take stock of all that is good. And where you find yourself lacking, pledge to cultivate whatever seeds are necessary to encourage the growth where you need it to be a more responsive and loving human being.
Forgiveness
We are moving into the "crown" of the Jewish spiritual year, the High Holidays, when we each take stock of how we hit or missed the "mark".... did we do whatever we needed to, make the right choices in the moment with the knowledge at hand, and do our best in each encounter? Or, did we make a wrong choice because we weren't in the right place emotionally or physically? HaShem forgives us, but it might be harder for humans to forgive each other. Customarily, we apologize to those we may have hurt by our actions, we attempt to make amends and make things all right with each other, and we move on and try to do better.
Where can you make amends in your life? Whom might you have hurt, either by accident or even on purpose? And where do you need forgiveness in your life? Forgiveness is a weird concept. When we are angry or hurt and feel maligned and misunderstood, or have even suffered physical or mental anguish by someone, it is almost impossible to think of forgiving the person. It might feel that you are condoning this person's actions against you. In fact, when you can come to the understanding that forgiveness frees you from the burden of this person's power over your life, it can be a huge awakening. That's why forgiveness among humans is the hardest thing to achieve.
What makes it easy for HaShem to forgive us? What kind of God-consicousness might you employ to help you move into the space of forgiveness?
Where can you make amends in your life? Whom might you have hurt, either by accident or even on purpose? And where do you need forgiveness in your life? Forgiveness is a weird concept. When we are angry or hurt and feel maligned and misunderstood, or have even suffered physical or mental anguish by someone, it is almost impossible to think of forgiving the person. It might feel that you are condoning this person's actions against you. In fact, when you can come to the understanding that forgiveness frees you from the burden of this person's power over your life, it can be a huge awakening. That's why forgiveness among humans is the hardest thing to achieve.
What makes it easy for HaShem to forgive us? What kind of God-consicousness might you employ to help you move into the space of forgiveness?
Breath of God
In the Pirke Avot (Wisdom of our Fathers), Rabbi Jacob has said:
"If you are walking lost in wonder,
empty of self, and mindful of Reality,
and suddenly you interrupt this peace to exclaim:
'How beautiful is this tree!
How magnificent this field!'
you forfeit life.
The intrusion of self
and the imposing of judgment
separates you from Reality
and snares you in the net of words.
Be still and know.
Embrace it all in silence." (III:9)
Who knew that exclaiming about an incredible sunset would have that effect? But when you look at the world as ONE unified soul, with all these pieces that are connected to each other that make up that ONE unified soul, it reminds us to be without judgment. To not get lost in our minds and thoughts and JUST BE AT ONE WITH THE ONE.
Breathe into and out the Breath of Life that infuses you with the awe-inspiring Silence of HaShem, the ultimate peace and no-thing-ness of the universe. One day as I was preparing to meditate, I inhaled and thought "breath of God" and let it commingle with my breath, and my essence, then as I exhaled, I thought "Breath of God" with the added breath of our combined energies. I later learned this is similar to the breathing practice of Rabbi Abulafia, a Kaballistic rabbi from the 1500s in Safed. Check it out, it can bring you to ecstasy if done properly.
"If you are walking lost in wonder,
empty of self, and mindful of Reality,
and suddenly you interrupt this peace to exclaim:
'How beautiful is this tree!
How magnificent this field!'
you forfeit life.
The intrusion of self
and the imposing of judgment
separates you from Reality
and snares you in the net of words.
Be still and know.
Embrace it all in silence." (III:9)
Who knew that exclaiming about an incredible sunset would have that effect? But when you look at the world as ONE unified soul, with all these pieces that are connected to each other that make up that ONE unified soul, it reminds us to be without judgment. To not get lost in our minds and thoughts and JUST BE AT ONE WITH THE ONE.
Breathe into and out the Breath of Life that infuses you with the awe-inspiring Silence of HaShem, the ultimate peace and no-thing-ness of the universe. One day as I was preparing to meditate, I inhaled and thought "breath of God" and let it commingle with my breath, and my essence, then as I exhaled, I thought "Breath of God" with the added breath of our combined energies. I later learned this is similar to the breathing practice of Rabbi Abulafia, a Kaballistic rabbi from the 1500s in Safed. Check it out, it can bring you to ecstasy if done properly.
Get Off Your Butt and Dance!
I find it too easy to get caught up in work, sitting at my desk with shoulders hunched, my back, my legs, my neck screaming for relief. I'll stretch every now and then, but at the end of the day my body feels like a contracted ball of fatigue. Every muscle is twitching with eagerness to get up and move. Exercise is sooo very important in our every day lives. Doctors and scientists are telling us the benefits of exercise as if they are just discovering this, but in fact Jewish people have known about the importance of physical movement for over thousands of years. In the second century, Rabbi Akiba taught that there are "248 postive Mitzvot in the Torah, corresponding to the number of parts of the human body. Each and every part of the body shouts to the person: 'Do a mitzvah through me; the benefit will be that we will live and you will have a long life'." (Midrash Mechilta, Ki Tetze). Rabbi Akiba was a very active man and did not spend all his time sitting at the desk studying Torah; he went out and taught and interacted with life.
Take a walk. It doesn't matter how fast you go. Feel the blood pumping through your heart, bringing that life-giving blood into every cell in your glorious body. Open your eyes and ears to the beauty around you. Let your arms swing, knifing through the breeze, creating your own power wave. If a butterfly's beating wings can effect change on the other side of the world (according to quantum physics!), imagine what your swinging arms will do. Think of all the mitzvot you can perform with your arms, legs, eyes and ears. Get out and dance!
Take a walk. It doesn't matter how fast you go. Feel the blood pumping through your heart, bringing that life-giving blood into every cell in your glorious body. Open your eyes and ears to the beauty around you. Let your arms swing, knifing through the breeze, creating your own power wave. If a butterfly's beating wings can effect change on the other side of the world (according to quantum physics!), imagine what your swinging arms will do. Think of all the mitzvot you can perform with your arms, legs, eyes and ears. Get out and dance!
Jewish Time
Abraham Joshua Heschel's book The Sabbath concisely and wisely explains the significance of the weekly celebration. One passage spoke volumes to me about why we consecrate this period of time in our busy week:
"For where shall the likeness of God be found? There is no quality that space has in common with the essence of God. There is not enough freedom on the top of the mountain; there is not enough glory in the silence of the sea. Yet the likeness of God can be found in time, which is eternity in disguise." (p.16).
Time in Judaism is marked by the holidays and festivals that reflect the seasons, cycles of return, the journey of our lives. Time is very important in Judaism. God gave us the ability to wield our powers and abilities in space, and we apply those to the work we do in the lives we lead. Time, however, is God's own domain. God blesses us when we take the time to be in God-time, and the Sabbath is one such opportunity. In this Time we pray, reflect, express gratitude, and experience some of that eternity.
"For where shall the likeness of God be found? There is no quality that space has in common with the essence of God. There is not enough freedom on the top of the mountain; there is not enough glory in the silence of the sea. Yet the likeness of God can be found in time, which is eternity in disguise." (p.16).
Time in Judaism is marked by the holidays and festivals that reflect the seasons, cycles of return, the journey of our lives. Time is very important in Judaism. God gave us the ability to wield our powers and abilities in space, and we apply those to the work we do in the lives we lead. Time, however, is God's own domain. God blesses us when we take the time to be in God-time, and the Sabbath is one such opportunity. In this Time we pray, reflect, express gratitude, and experience some of that eternity.
You ARE Good Enough!
What struck me this week in my numerous interactions is how often some people don't believe they are "_____ enough." Fill in the blank with any adjective such as "thin" "smart" "creative", or the one that hurts the most: "good". Many of my clients don't believe they are "good enough".
What does that belief about our self really mean? Whom are we measuring up to? What standard, or high expectation, do we measure our level of good-ness against? It pains me when I hear someone denigrate him or herself. Is it possible that HaShem looks upon us in sorrow when we believe that we are not "good enough"? After all, we are created in beauty. How quickly we forget how holy and "good enough" we truly are.
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What does that belief about our self really mean? Whom are we measuring up to? What standard, or high expectation, do we measure our level of good-ness against? It pains me when I hear someone denigrate him or herself. Is it possible that HaShem looks upon us in sorrow when we believe that we are not "good enough"? After all, we are created in beauty. How quickly we forget how holy and "good enough" we truly are.
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Staying Balanced in a Chaotic World
There is always going to be chaos and unrest in the world around us; it is just the way it is. We can make a choice to get caught up in the tension and the unruliness, and make ourselves "crazy". Or, we can accept the world as it is, making changes where possible, taking action where possible, but maintaining our balance in the process.
Easier said than done! That balance and calm in the eye of the storm is an elusive goal. I teach meditation and stress reduction techniques, and even I find it difficult to stay centered sometimes. When my clients are going through a rough time, how I wish I had a magic wand to wave over them to make it "all better". But, we don't live in Gan Eden anymore, and somehow, we need to make it though the travails of human living.
If you are having a rough time, see if you can get out of your own way for a moment by taking a deep breath, giving yourself a hug, and let the wave pass over you. Do that again. And one more time. The world is still there when you open your eyes, but maybe you feel a little more uplifted.... and don't forget that HaShem is with you every moment.
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Easier said than done! That balance and calm in the eye of the storm is an elusive goal. I teach meditation and stress reduction techniques, and even I find it difficult to stay centered sometimes. When my clients are going through a rough time, how I wish I had a magic wand to wave over them to make it "all better". But, we don't live in Gan Eden anymore, and somehow, we need to make it though the travails of human living.
If you are having a rough time, see if you can get out of your own way for a moment by taking a deep breath, giving yourself a hug, and let the wave pass over you. Do that again. And one more time. The world is still there when you open your eyes, but maybe you feel a little more uplifted.... and don't forget that HaShem is with you every moment.
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Blessings and Change
I was reminded this week about the power of blessings. When I create space for that energy, it multiplies exponetially. When I send out a prayer, the blessings contained within it also return to me. Perhaps that is why the ancient Jewish sages believed that people who are ill and/or struggling should also pray and not only ask HaShem for healing, but should also pray for others who are in need. The sages knew the power of blessings.
I've decided to change an attitude and a behavior... for instance, when I am driving and the person in front of me does something I might normally get peeved at, I will instead send them a blessing. It's an experiment for me.
I've decided to change an attitude and a behavior... for instance, when I am driving and the person in front of me does something I might normally get peeved at, I will instead send them a blessing. It's an experiment for me.
"Real-eyes-ing" blessings
I have been tuning into synchronicities this week. Many events are affirming the flow of my life at this point. I "real-eyes" that this is probably always occuring, but I don't always tune into it. My mind is going in 1001 different directions, or I am not in the present moment. Only when I focus and am open to what needs to come in do I see these "coincidences". I know that HaShem is communicating with me and I am listening in those moments.
I also "real-eyes" that I must live my life with integrity, compassion, and courage, for this is what cloaks my desires; and the adage of "watch what you wish for, as you will receive it" plays into the mix as well. As I was writing this the first time, my computer just froze up, which it's been doing lately. Why it did it at that moment, I don't know, but I've been able to recreate my message... which brings me to my next thought, and that is I heard from many of you regarding my "experiment" of last week. It comforts me to know I have much support on this journey!
I have permission to share an email from one of our participants in response to last week's commentary and I print it below.
Yes, always send blessings...always send out blessings and love even if you do not see results in the physical dimension. The nature of man is to receive for self alone, the nature of Hashem is the desire to Share. When we share, we become like Hashem, we are connected to Hashem and receive all the Light we need. As we all share our light with others, even bad drivers...smile..our light within shines brighter as those poisonous dark feelings are transformed to Light. This is what it means that collectively we are all sparks of light of the Messiah. As we all send out love and blessings we reveal light into the world and it is this Light that transforms the darkness in others and ourselves. It is then that our veil (made up of our impurities that separates our flesh from our soul) becomes thinner to eventually disappear and we are no longer separated from Hashem, we are ONE, we are back in the Garden of Eden where the energy is no longer tainted, it is but Pure.Perhaps that is why the first letter that begins the Torah is the letter BET, meaning Blessing.
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I also "real-eyes" that I must live my life with integrity, compassion, and courage, for this is what cloaks my desires; and the adage of "watch what you wish for, as you will receive it" plays into the mix as well. As I was writing this the first time, my computer just froze up, which it's been doing lately. Why it did it at that moment, I don't know, but I've been able to recreate my message... which brings me to my next thought, and that is I heard from many of you regarding my "experiment" of last week. It comforts me to know I have much support on this journey!
I have permission to share an email from one of our participants in response to last week's commentary and I print it below.
Yes, always send blessings...always send out blessings and love even if you do not see results in the physical dimension. The nature of man is to receive for self alone, the nature of Hashem is the desire to Share. When we share, we become like Hashem, we are connected to Hashem and receive all the Light we need. As we all share our light with others, even bad drivers...smile..our light within shines brighter as those poisonous dark feelings are transformed to Light. This is what it means that collectively we are all sparks of light of the Messiah. As we all send out love and blessings we reveal light into the world and it is this Light that transforms the darkness in others and ourselves. It is then that our veil (made up of our impurities that separates our flesh from our soul) becomes thinner to eventually disappear and we are no longer separated from Hashem, we are ONE, we are back in the Garden of Eden where the energy is no longer tainted, it is but Pure.Perhaps that is why the first letter that begins the Torah is the letter BET, meaning Blessing.
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Too Much of a Good Thing
What is "Mother Nature" up to? In the last few weeks, humans' encounters with water's most extreme forces has resulted in death and destruction all over the world.
Water is a basic element, and is part of us; we couldn't live without it. In many cultures, water is prayed to/for, and is one of the "directions" (earth, air, fire, water) in a prayer circle.
What happens when there is too much of a good thing? What happens when one element is completely out of balance with the rest? When in your life has one element been knocked out of whack and is over-controlling you? All you can focus on is the shortage or over-abundance of this one aspect and its resulting energy pull on you, and others around you. How does one stay centered when everything is falling apart? How do you balance when the rug is getting pulled out from underneath? What do you hold onto?
How you establish order out of chaos?
Water is a basic element, and is part of us; we couldn't live without it. In many cultures, water is prayed to/for, and is one of the "directions" (earth, air, fire, water) in a prayer circle.
What happens when there is too much of a good thing? What happens when one element is completely out of balance with the rest? When in your life has one element been knocked out of whack and is over-controlling you? All you can focus on is the shortage or over-abundance of this one aspect and its resulting energy pull on you, and others around you. How does one stay centered when everything is falling apart? How do you balance when the rug is getting pulled out from underneath? What do you hold onto?
How you establish order out of chaos?
Gratitude and Abundance
Gratitude. Abundance. So hard to embrace these when we're feeling overwhelmed by illness, or extreme circumstances. When I am overwhelmed, all I want to do is crawl into a hole and escape. Gratitude and abundance are the furthest things from my mind and heart. Therefore, how do you turn your face around to see the joy and beauty in the world, when you're not feeling it in your heart? What does it for you? I keep reminding myself that HaShem is always before me--Sh'viti. Even if I can't feel the fullness of abundance and joy in my heart sometimes, I can be comforted to know that I am not alone.
Listen with the EAR in your H-EAR-T
How do you know when you are getting in your own way? How do you know it's you, and not the universe that is making life difficult? What are the signals or coincidences that occur to clue you in?
For me, it's when I feel that I am spinning my wheels, or making this long, seemingly uphill climb and not seeing any signs that I am getting closer to my goal. I also get very snippy with people, and that's a big clue for me that I am not tending to my needs and probably doing too much for other people, or just doing too much and not giving myself enough rest and time out. When I start to feel like a victim and I hear myself say things that I don't say when I'm "going with the flow" then I know I need to back off.
In my counseling practice, I often see the path more clearly than my clients do, since they are often experiencing foggy vision due to their pain/fear/anger, so I have to patiently wait for their vision to clear and then help them find their answers. It's all in how we see the world and what clouds or clears our vision. It's also what we hear with the "ear" in our hearts.
For me, it's when I feel that I am spinning my wheels, or making this long, seemingly uphill climb and not seeing any signs that I am getting closer to my goal. I also get very snippy with people, and that's a big clue for me that I am not tending to my needs and probably doing too much for other people, or just doing too much and not giving myself enough rest and time out. When I start to feel like a victim and I hear myself say things that I don't say when I'm "going with the flow" then I know I need to back off.
In my counseling practice, I often see the path more clearly than my clients do, since they are often experiencing foggy vision due to their pain/fear/anger, so I have to patiently wait for their vision to clear and then help them find their answers. It's all in how we see the world and what clouds or clears our vision. It's also what we hear with the "ear" in our hearts.
Enough is Enough... but it's not over yet.
This has been a rather stressful week for me, and it seems to be centering on the fact that things that seem so close remain out of reach. The timing is just not right, the planets are not quite aligned.... Whatever it is, I am feeling like I did when I was over 9 months pregnant with my son, when the ending seemed so within reach, yet it wasn't the right time. Expectancy is high, energy is high, but it's a tense kind of energy that is jagged and not joyful. It is not even a matter of wanting to control the situation, but of realizing that no matter how hard I pray, it's just not happening in my time frame, for whatever the reasons.
Here in the northeast, we continue to be bombarded with winter, cold, wind, snow, mess... I have had ENOUGH! It has caused enough havoc in my life, and I want it to be over with! Not so, as we are about to be hit with another storm. Do I collapse in a crazy fit of hysterical laughter, totally unable to muster up the energy to keep at it? Do I give up? How much "surrendering to the flow" is enough? What happens when one is at the breaking point? When all the energy one has isn't enough?? A-ha! That is when the good stuff really happens, you know. That's the broken vessel finally letting in the light. And just when I thought I was keeping things in balance, keeping myself in balance, expending lots of energy to do that, that's when MAJOR CHAOS steps into the dance. What is the choice that you make when whatever you have been doing falls short and you are met with BIG CHANGE staring you square in the eyes, and you feel that you have no strength left?
Here in the northeast, we continue to be bombarded with winter, cold, wind, snow, mess... I have had ENOUGH! It has caused enough havoc in my life, and I want it to be over with! Not so, as we are about to be hit with another storm. Do I collapse in a crazy fit of hysterical laughter, totally unable to muster up the energy to keep at it? Do I give up? How much "surrendering to the flow" is enough? What happens when one is at the breaking point? When all the energy one has isn't enough?? A-ha! That is when the good stuff really happens, you know. That's the broken vessel finally letting in the light. And just when I thought I was keeping things in balance, keeping myself in balance, expending lots of energy to do that, that's when MAJOR CHAOS steps into the dance. What is the choice that you make when whatever you have been doing falls short and you are met with BIG CHANGE staring you square in the eyes, and you feel that you have no strength left?
Boundaries & Discernment
Purim has just passed, and Pesach is on the horizon. As with the autumn holidays, those in the spring give us plenty of chances to delve more deeply into Jewish heritage and how that affects our own growth. What can you pull from these holidays to take you through the dark and foreboding mystery, into the midst of the transitional time, and out the other side into the light and clarity? Are you where you want to be in your life, spiritually, emotionally, or in whatever way your path is taking you?
The Jewish religion and its practice are known for boundaries and discernment. How are your boundaries these days? Are you feeling strong and confident in some areas, but perhaps feel as if you're getting stepped on in other areas? Are you able to discern when you can leave your boundary more open, or when you need to pull it in tighter, depending upon the energy of the people you are spending time with?
The Jewish religion and its practice are known for boundaries and discernment. How are your boundaries these days? Are you feeling strong and confident in some areas, but perhaps feel as if you're getting stepped on in other areas? Are you able to discern when you can leave your boundary more open, or when you need to pull it in tighter, depending upon the energy of the people you are spending time with?
Surrender
Surrender. What does that mean to you? Does it mean "I give up" and you throw your hands in the air, feeling exasperated and at your wits' end? Does it mean sitting lifeless in your chair, depressed and deflated? What are you exactly giving up? The constant fight AGAINST something? The conflict of your expectations versus what is going on right in front of you? A seemingly immovable force that you can't get away from?
Surrender. What does it really mean? It means geting out of your own way. It means allowing the events to unfold, and responding to them in the best way you know how. It means that if you believe you are "losing the battle" to figure out what it is your battling against and align your energy with it. Not giving in, not condoning, but keeping yourself safe and figuring out how to work with a seemingly immovable force.
In my work, so many of my clients continue to fight against forces that refuse to change. It is often a conflictual relationship with a spouse, parent or other relative, and each person continues to play the game of the other person, falling into the same pattern of defensiveness, anger, and hurt feelings. Often, they don't see it as it is so close to their face. There is no perspective on the situation. We try to find that perspective, and figure out what one new small way of responding will help them alleviate guilt, anger, whatever. When they refuse to fall into the pattern, refuse to play the game, and do it in a small, easily managed way, it is amazing what happens over time. I call it my One Degree of Change. Imagine you set out on your journey using a compass and need to go 235 degrees. However, you proceed at 234 degrees. Over time (and distance), you will end up in a totally different place, miles away from where you had intended. When you change how you view a situation and respond in a way that is different than before, over time, things change. The people that you are in conflict with will not be such a threat, and may even start to change how they respond to you! When you refuse to "play their game" any longer, you are out of the conflict.
That is surrender.
I offer this to you, passed on by a friend:
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.>> Happy moments, praise God.>> Difficult moments, seek God.>> Quiet moments, worship God.>> Painful moments, trust God.>> Every moment, thank God.
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Surrender. What does it really mean? It means geting out of your own way. It means allowing the events to unfold, and responding to them in the best way you know how. It means that if you believe you are "losing the battle" to figure out what it is your battling against and align your energy with it. Not giving in, not condoning, but keeping yourself safe and figuring out how to work with a seemingly immovable force.
In my work, so many of my clients continue to fight against forces that refuse to change. It is often a conflictual relationship with a spouse, parent or other relative, and each person continues to play the game of the other person, falling into the same pattern of defensiveness, anger, and hurt feelings. Often, they don't see it as it is so close to their face. There is no perspective on the situation. We try to find that perspective, and figure out what one new small way of responding will help them alleviate guilt, anger, whatever. When they refuse to fall into the pattern, refuse to play the game, and do it in a small, easily managed way, it is amazing what happens over time. I call it my One Degree of Change. Imagine you set out on your journey using a compass and need to go 235 degrees. However, you proceed at 234 degrees. Over time (and distance), you will end up in a totally different place, miles away from where you had intended. When you change how you view a situation and respond in a way that is different than before, over time, things change. The people that you are in conflict with will not be such a threat, and may even start to change how they respond to you! When you refuse to "play their game" any longer, you are out of the conflict.
That is surrender.
I offer this to you, passed on by a friend:
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.>> Happy moments, praise God.>> Difficult moments, seek God.>> Quiet moments, worship God.>> Painful moments, trust God.>> Every moment, thank God.
**************************************
Mothers
As Mother's Day is this Sunday for many people, I am reflecting on my own mother, and myself as a mother. It's amazing how powerful mothers are, and their influence colors much of what we do. When mothering is nurturing and consistent, children tend to grow up with a strong sense of self, and of responsibility. When that mothering is poor, oftentimes children grow up with a skewed sense of themselves, and their place in the world.
Many of my female clients with children are raising them the opposite of how they were raised, having figured out what to do "in spite" of their own mother's poor mothering skills. It creates a sort of "Catch-22" and lots of tangled up emotions and strange behaviors. Sons of less-than-nurturing mothers have a hard time with vulnerability, and tend to mask it with bravado, substance use/abuse, and even other forms of abuse towards the women in their lives. Of course, I am generalizing here, but the bottom line is mothers wield a lot of influence.
People often compliment me on how well my son has "turned out" and I accept their compliments with the statement: I started out with great material, and facilitated his growth the best I could. I believe most mothers can say that, even if the best they could do was hampered by their own physical, mental, or emotional difficulties.
The baggage we carry around if mother was "not good" is very heavy. If your relationship was "less than perfect" and you struggle with that every day, see if you can figure out what kind of person your mom is/was, not as your mother, but as a person in her own right. She may always come up falling short of your ideal mother, but there is good in her somewhere. Maybe you can embrace some good part of her, and accept her for who she is, knowing she tried the best she could. You hold a part of her within you, and if you can view that with light and gentleness, it makes life that much easier to bear.
If you enjoy a delightful relationship with your mother, mazel tov. You are truly fortunate, and blessed.
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Many of my female clients with children are raising them the opposite of how they were raised, having figured out what to do "in spite" of their own mother's poor mothering skills. It creates a sort of "Catch-22" and lots of tangled up emotions and strange behaviors. Sons of less-than-nurturing mothers have a hard time with vulnerability, and tend to mask it with bravado, substance use/abuse, and even other forms of abuse towards the women in their lives. Of course, I am generalizing here, but the bottom line is mothers wield a lot of influence.
People often compliment me on how well my son has "turned out" and I accept their compliments with the statement: I started out with great material, and facilitated his growth the best I could. I believe most mothers can say that, even if the best they could do was hampered by their own physical, mental, or emotional difficulties.
The baggage we carry around if mother was "not good" is very heavy. If your relationship was "less than perfect" and you struggle with that every day, see if you can figure out what kind of person your mom is/was, not as your mother, but as a person in her own right. She may always come up falling short of your ideal mother, but there is good in her somewhere. Maybe you can embrace some good part of her, and accept her for who she is, knowing she tried the best she could. You hold a part of her within you, and if you can view that with light and gentleness, it makes life that much easier to bear.
If you enjoy a delightful relationship with your mother, mazel tov. You are truly fortunate, and blessed.
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We Don't Suffer Alone
This week felt like a total uphill battle for me. I finally got the message that I don't have to suffer alone, and went outside to lie down on the grass yesterday, under the bright spring sunlight, not a cloud in the blue vastness of sky. Spreading my body upon the earth, I just gave it up. Gave up all the pain, both physical and emotional, gave it up to the One Who Listens.
I know we all get in our own way often, and fortunately, nothing horrendous happened to wake me up to the fact that Adonai is always before me (and under, over, and around me)... Sh'viti.
I think I'm going to head back out there and let the birds soothe me, and the breezes purge me, and just feel lighter and more open.
I know we all get in our own way often, and fortunately, nothing horrendous happened to wake me up to the fact that Adonai is always before me (and under, over, and around me)... Sh'viti.
I think I'm going to head back out there and let the birds soothe me, and the breezes purge me, and just feel lighter and more open.
Fathers and Masculinity
This Sunday is Father's Day, and I promised I would write something about dad's, as I'd done a piece about mom's back in May. One's relationship with this authority figure can be fraught with much turmoil. Often dads are not emotional or outgoing, and it's difficult to know what they are really feeling inside. They can be men of few words, so the only feedback we may receive may feel more like criticism or judgment. Many dads work long hours and spend little time with their children; this can impede forming a close relationship, as the father can miss out on all the "little" things that are so important. It wasn't until I was well into my 30's when I made peace with the man my father is. He is an engineer, and sees the world in very precise ways. I have learned to appreciate his perspective, and also to understand how he communicates his deep love for his children. I know that I can differ in my opinions and do so without malice or bitterness, though that wasn't always the case. I often felt threatened by his "force of will".
Fathers represent the masculine aspect, or animus in Jungian terms. The outwardly projected authoritative force, strong, focused, determined, discriminating, action-oriented, competitive, etc. We've all heard about the brain studies that show that men communicate differently than women because there is less communication between brain hemispheres. I know I am generalizing here, because many of the men I know are good communicators! They see things differently than I do, but it's not better or worse. We can each learn from the other gender how to be more whole.
Fathers represent the masculine aspect, or animus in Jungian terms. The outwardly projected authoritative force, strong, focused, determined, discriminating, action-oriented, competitive, etc. We've all heard about the brain studies that show that men communicate differently than women because there is less communication between brain hemispheres. I know I am generalizing here, because many of the men I know are good communicators! They see things differently than I do, but it's not better or worse. We can each learn from the other gender how to be more whole.
Doorways
Endings and beginnings... doorways to the future and past. I'm not one to make "new year's resolutions" for I tend to pay more attention to things like the seasonal changes, or my birthday, as signposts for growth. However, any opportunity to stop and take stock of life is a good one. Standing in that doorway and looking back to see what you've learned and how you have matured is always helpful. Getting stuck there is not. But, take that in-between moment and savor it, because it is neither past nor future. The past is done, and you are greeting the future. Your future can be shaped by your past actions, certainly, but you also have the power to make other choices. To repair where it is needed, no matter how difficult a task that may be.... but, for this moment, on the cusp, just pause and enjoy the beauty of the present.
Open your heart to All That Is, and let the sensation and beauty of that wash over you. You are a perfect being, containing everything there ever was and will be.
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Open your heart to All That Is, and let the sensation and beauty of that wash over you. You are a perfect being, containing everything there ever was and will be.
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The Sacredness of Your Life
What are you thankful for? Even in the midst of pain, can you find the blessing in being alive? It is said that the Creator is breathing us into being every moment. How "yirah" (awesome) is that! That this infinite being wants us to be alive and breathing and contributing to this Creation in our own way. We usually go through each day not really thinking about it, taking for granted the fact we can go to work, prepare and eat meals, tend to our families/friends/selves, etc. It's easy to get caught up in the seemingly mundane, ordinary life we live. But, is it really all that ordinary and mundane when you think about the fact that all of Creation is being willfully breathed into Being, and if the Creator stopped willing us into being, we would be no more?
I may not say the morning blessings exactly the way they are written, but I do awaken each morning, sun streaming into my windows, glad to be alive and wondering what the day will bring. What surprises will come my way? What does the Creator need me to do, how do I need to be, to take me further on my journey towards becoming a better person? When I really pay attention and notice the miracles of life around me, I am feeling blessed and grateful that the Infinite One sees fit to continue to breathe life into me.
The one guarantee in life is death, but we never know exactly when that will occur, so how do you live each day that the Creator has willed you into being?
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I may not say the morning blessings exactly the way they are written, but I do awaken each morning, sun streaming into my windows, glad to be alive and wondering what the day will bring. What surprises will come my way? What does the Creator need me to do, how do I need to be, to take me further on my journey towards becoming a better person? When I really pay attention and notice the miracles of life around me, I am feeling blessed and grateful that the Infinite One sees fit to continue to breathe life into me.
The one guarantee in life is death, but we never know exactly when that will occur, so how do you live each day that the Creator has willed you into being?
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