Enough is Enough... but it's not over yet.

This has been a rather stressful week for me, and it seems to be centering on the fact that things that seem so close remain out of reach. The timing is just not right, the planets are not quite aligned.... Whatever it is, I am feeling like I did when I was over 9 months pregnant with my son, when the ending seemed so within reach, yet it wasn't the right time. Expectancy is high, energy is high, but it's a tense kind of energy that is jagged and not joyful. It is not even a matter of wanting to control the situation, but of realizing that no matter how hard I pray, it's just not happening in my time frame, for whatever the reasons.

Here in the northeast, we continue to be bombarded with winter, cold, wind, snow, mess... I have had ENOUGH! It has caused enough havoc in my life, and I want it to be over with! Not so, as we are about to be hit with another storm. Do I collapse in a crazy fit of hysterical laughter, totally unable to muster up the energy to keep at it? Do I give up? How much "surrendering to the flow" is enough? What happens when one is at the breaking point? When all the energy one has isn't enough?? A-ha! That is when the good stuff really happens, you know. That's the broken vessel finally letting in the light. And just when I thought I was keeping things in balance, keeping myself in balance, expending lots of energy to do that, that's when MAJOR CHAOS steps into the dance. What is the choice that you make when whatever you have been doing falls short and you are met with BIG CHANGE staring you square in the eyes, and you feel that you have no strength left?

Unity in Heart and Mind

The Baal Shem Tov, one of Judaism's greatest teachers writes, "Where your thought is, precisely where you are--all of yourself is there." When we are lost, in despair, in pain, our first thought is often of that pain, and of being fully engulfed in it. Contrastingly, when one is joyful, we are fully engulfed in our joyfulness, because of what we are thinking about our experience. How powerful our thoughts are! We have the power to overcome the negative thoughts by thinking other more positive thoughts. (obviously if a person is in dire need of medication to lessen the pain, by all means, administer it). During times of great stress to the body, spirit, or mind, it is so important to take the time to put ourselves into beautiful places, if only in our minds. Use whatever supports are at hand, whether they be people who can soothe us with massage, or singing, or laughter, or even reading to us. Play calming music, imagine places in nature that are calming, do what it takes to bring joy and light into the darkness. It is not ignoring our responsibilities to escape the pain for a little while, but instead, we are giving ourselves blessed permission to rest and recuperate, and gather our energies towards recovery.
HaShem never gives us anything more than we can handle, even if we don't always believe it at first glance. Rabbi Nachman of Breslov states that God hides in the obstacles on our journeys, and waits to be discovered.

Stress Redux

The ancient Jewish rabbis who wrote the Talmud had a unique and uncanny understanding of human behavior. They were the earliest psychologists. Over 1500 years ago, they wrote that "three things drain a person's health: worry, travel, and sin" (Gittin, 70a). Travel takes one away from his/her customary surroundings and comforts and injects its own pressures. Sin (missing the mark) has its own, sometimes dire consequences. When we fret over things that are out of our control, we cause ourselves physical, mental and emotional stress that becomes a vicious cycle in our lives.
Physically, blood pressure rises, breathing is shallow, our bodies tighten up and pain can result. This makes it more difficult to eat and sleep well, let alone giving our bodies a restful chance to recoup energy. Emotionally, we are as tightly wound as a spring, rendering our minds incapable of thinking rationally and logically. We might lash out at people who want to help, and we get stuck in a negative mindset that traps us in quicksand.
The trick is to step back and away from the stress we are feeling, in order to find a clearer perspective, give ourselves a chance to regroup, and realize that if we can't change it, we have to accept it. In order to step away, the first, most basic thing we can do is BREATHE! Sit quietly, eyes closed, and let yourself open up, open your lungs, your diaphragm, your belly, as you feel the breath traversing through your cells, muscles, bones. Get out and take a walk. As you take each step, coordinate your breathing to the rhythm of your feet, maybe even saying a word or phrase that helps you to relax. I say "om shalom" and let the words take on a natural cadence in time with my steps.
Your heart rate will slow, your vision will brighten, your chest and shoulders and neck will release. I like to walk up a good incline at a rapid pace to get my heart rate up and my lungs to expand, but you should do what is comfortable and what you are physically able to do. The aim is to cast off the burden of worry you are carrying around, and feel lighter and less stressed about what you can do nothing about (except to take care of yourself!!)
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