How do you make time "stand still"? Our lives seem to be so busy, full of activity and experiences and relationships, that time seems to speed by. All of a sudden, a week has passed and I feel that I've left things by the wayside. My plants aren't fertilized, dust balls collect in the corners, books go unread, craft projects stay in my head.... the list is almost endless. I wonder what happens to my time, and the way I spend it. Often, my time is filled with obligations, such as work or a meeting. Dinner becomes the only time my family is together, so we make the most of it.
But, what happens in my own private time? How can I make that more meaningful, and make it feel weightier, so that I don't feel cheated, or feel that time is whizzing right by me? What choices can I make that will allow me to feel my life is more sacred, more spiritual, and less splintered?
Showing posts with label choices. Show all posts
Showing posts with label choices. Show all posts
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Forgiveness
We are moving into the "crown" of the Jewish spiritual year, the High Holidays, when we each take stock of how we hit or missed the "mark".... did we do whatever we needed to, make the right choices in the moment with the knowledge at hand, and do our best in each encounter? Or, did we make a wrong choice because we weren't in the right place emotionally or physically? HaShem forgives us, but it might be harder for humans to forgive each other. Customarily, we apologize to those we may have hurt by our actions, we attempt to make amends and make things all right with each other, and we move on and try to do better.
Where can you make amends in your life? Whom might you have hurt, either by accident or even on purpose? And where do you need forgiveness in your life? Forgiveness is a weird concept. When we are angry or hurt and feel maligned and misunderstood, or have even suffered physical or mental anguish by someone, it is almost impossible to think of forgiving the person. It might feel that you are condoning this person's actions against you. In fact, when you can come to the understanding that forgiveness frees you from the burden of this person's power over your life, it can be a huge awakening. That's why forgiveness among humans is the hardest thing to achieve.
What makes it easy for HaShem to forgive us? What kind of God-consicousness might you employ to help you move into the space of forgiveness?
Where can you make amends in your life? Whom might you have hurt, either by accident or even on purpose? And where do you need forgiveness in your life? Forgiveness is a weird concept. When we are angry or hurt and feel maligned and misunderstood, or have even suffered physical or mental anguish by someone, it is almost impossible to think of forgiving the person. It might feel that you are condoning this person's actions against you. In fact, when you can come to the understanding that forgiveness frees you from the burden of this person's power over your life, it can be a huge awakening. That's why forgiveness among humans is the hardest thing to achieve.
What makes it easy for HaShem to forgive us? What kind of God-consicousness might you employ to help you move into the space of forgiveness?
Enough is Enough... but it's not over yet.
This has been a rather stressful week for me, and it seems to be centering on the fact that things that seem so close remain out of reach. The timing is just not right, the planets are not quite aligned.... Whatever it is, I am feeling like I did when I was over 9 months pregnant with my son, when the ending seemed so within reach, yet it wasn't the right time. Expectancy is high, energy is high, but it's a tense kind of energy that is jagged and not joyful. It is not even a matter of wanting to control the situation, but of realizing that no matter how hard I pray, it's just not happening in my time frame, for whatever the reasons.
Here in the northeast, we continue to be bombarded with winter, cold, wind, snow, mess... I have had ENOUGH! It has caused enough havoc in my life, and I want it to be over with! Not so, as we are about to be hit with another storm. Do I collapse in a crazy fit of hysterical laughter, totally unable to muster up the energy to keep at it? Do I give up? How much "surrendering to the flow" is enough? What happens when one is at the breaking point? When all the energy one has isn't enough?? A-ha! That is when the good stuff really happens, you know. That's the broken vessel finally letting in the light. And just when I thought I was keeping things in balance, keeping myself in balance, expending lots of energy to do that, that's when MAJOR CHAOS steps into the dance. What is the choice that you make when whatever you have been doing falls short and you are met with BIG CHANGE staring you square in the eyes, and you feel that you have no strength left?
Here in the northeast, we continue to be bombarded with winter, cold, wind, snow, mess... I have had ENOUGH! It has caused enough havoc in my life, and I want it to be over with! Not so, as we are about to be hit with another storm. Do I collapse in a crazy fit of hysterical laughter, totally unable to muster up the energy to keep at it? Do I give up? How much "surrendering to the flow" is enough? What happens when one is at the breaking point? When all the energy one has isn't enough?? A-ha! That is when the good stuff really happens, you know. That's the broken vessel finally letting in the light. And just when I thought I was keeping things in balance, keeping myself in balance, expending lots of energy to do that, that's when MAJOR CHAOS steps into the dance. What is the choice that you make when whatever you have been doing falls short and you are met with BIG CHANGE staring you square in the eyes, and you feel that you have no strength left?
Response-ability
I have a great little book that I pick up from time to time called Be Within, Stay Above more meditations from the wisdom of the Rebbe condensation and words by Tzvi Freeman, Class One Press 2000. Each page contains a gem of wisdom on an aspect of life. I would like to quote a page titled UnProphets (p. 209):
"If we were prophets or people of vision, we would see what is important and what is not, what will bear fruits and what will remain barren. But we are simple people in an age of confusion. Our lives are filled with uncertainties--anything could happen, and we have no way of telling.
"We cannot decide which mitvah is important and which will bear fruit. Neither are we expected to make our decisions that way.
"What's expected of us is to simply grab whatever G-d sends our way, and do our very best at it. What will come of it? What is its purpose? Only He needs to know."
I love this book! To grab whatever comes our way is like being on that merry-go-round, and grabbing the brass ring, open to whatever we are to learn, and to trust that we are going in the right direction. To respond in our best way. Response-ability--the act (art?) of responding ably, to not react, but apply ourselves wholeheartedly to the choice we make as the response to an event in our lives.
"If we were prophets or people of vision, we would see what is important and what is not, what will bear fruits and what will remain barren. But we are simple people in an age of confusion. Our lives are filled with uncertainties--anything could happen, and we have no way of telling.
"We cannot decide which mitvah is important and which will bear fruit. Neither are we expected to make our decisions that way.
"What's expected of us is to simply grab whatever G-d sends our way, and do our very best at it. What will come of it? What is its purpose? Only He needs to know."
I love this book! To grab whatever comes our way is like being on that merry-go-round, and grabbing the brass ring, open to whatever we are to learn, and to trust that we are going in the right direction. To respond in our best way. Response-ability--the act (art?) of responding ably, to not react, but apply ourselves wholeheartedly to the choice we make as the response to an event in our lives.
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