Being Grateful Despite your Expectations!

Gratefulness--what is it really?
Last night, I had to opportunity to attend a lovely outdoor concert on a gorgeous summer night. I met someone new, and reconnected with two old friends. The music was great, the company superb; indeed the entire experience leaves me with a smile. Instead of focusing on the heat, the crowd, the very slowness of our dinner arriving, causing us to miss part of the concert which all could've ended up spoiling the evening, I decided to focus on the positives.

Being grateful is all about focusing on the positive, even if there are some issues that don't meet with your expectations. Actually, having specific expectations, rather than being open to whatever happens, predisposes you to be disappointed when those expectations go unmet. Of course, it doesn't mean letting someone trample all over you. You must stick up for yourself when the situation warrants. Staying open to whatever happens, focusing on the positive, and being grateful for the entire experience causes your heart and soul to open, nurturing your growth in this universe. HaShem is there in all our moments, and for this alone, we are grateful!

The Road Ahead

As you contemplate your life this time of year, and make the promise to yourself to do better, know that most of us are doing a similar reflection and rededication. Times like this are necessary in life to stop and take stock of where you are going, where you have been, and where you would like to go. Of course, all we can say with certaintude is where we have been. We don't know where we are going. We don't know where the road will take us. We don't know God's plan for us. We can set up expectations and goals and pray for certain outcomes, holding out hope that things will work out in our favor. But we just don't know where we'll end up. How often I have said that something I've experienced is so much better than I ever could have imagined. Or that never in my wildest dreams did I expect to find myself in a certain situation.
What does it take to live a life so open to any and all experiences, that we can just roll with life as it unfolds? Like a surfer on the waves, we react and respond to what comes our way, maintaining balance and calm, using whatever resources we have cultivated for this purpose. As you are contemplating your life this holiday, stop and pause and take stock of all that is good. And where you find yourself lacking, pledge to cultivate whatever seeds are necessary to encourage the growth where you need it to be a more responsive and loving human being.

You ARE Good Enough!

What struck me this week in my numerous interactions is how often some people don't believe they are "_____ enough." Fill in the blank with any adjective such as "thin" "smart" "creative", or the one that hurts the most: "good". Many of my clients don't believe they are "good enough".
What does that belief about our self really mean? Whom are we measuring up to? What standard, or high expectation, do we measure our level of good-ness against? It pains me when I hear someone denigrate him or herself. Is it possible that HaShem looks upon us in sorrow when we believe that we are not "good enough"? After all, we are created in beauty. How quickly we forget how holy and "good enough" we truly are.
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Enough is Enough... but it's not over yet.

This has been a rather stressful week for me, and it seems to be centering on the fact that things that seem so close remain out of reach. The timing is just not right, the planets are not quite aligned.... Whatever it is, I am feeling like I did when I was over 9 months pregnant with my son, when the ending seemed so within reach, yet it wasn't the right time. Expectancy is high, energy is high, but it's a tense kind of energy that is jagged and not joyful. It is not even a matter of wanting to control the situation, but of realizing that no matter how hard I pray, it's just not happening in my time frame, for whatever the reasons.

Here in the northeast, we continue to be bombarded with winter, cold, wind, snow, mess... I have had ENOUGH! It has caused enough havoc in my life, and I want it to be over with! Not so, as we are about to be hit with another storm. Do I collapse in a crazy fit of hysterical laughter, totally unable to muster up the energy to keep at it? Do I give up? How much "surrendering to the flow" is enough? What happens when one is at the breaking point? When all the energy one has isn't enough?? A-ha! That is when the good stuff really happens, you know. That's the broken vessel finally letting in the light. And just when I thought I was keeping things in balance, keeping myself in balance, expending lots of energy to do that, that's when MAJOR CHAOS steps into the dance. What is the choice that you make when whatever you have been doing falls short and you are met with BIG CHANGE staring you square in the eyes, and you feel that you have no strength left?