Being Grateful Despite your Expectations!

Gratefulness--what is it really?
Last night, I had to opportunity to attend a lovely outdoor concert on a gorgeous summer night. I met someone new, and reconnected with two old friends. The music was great, the company superb; indeed the entire experience leaves me with a smile. Instead of focusing on the heat, the crowd, the very slowness of our dinner arriving, causing us to miss part of the concert which all could've ended up spoiling the evening, I decided to focus on the positives.

Being grateful is all about focusing on the positive, even if there are some issues that don't meet with your expectations. Actually, having specific expectations, rather than being open to whatever happens, predisposes you to be disappointed when those expectations go unmet. Of course, it doesn't mean letting someone trample all over you. You must stick up for yourself when the situation warrants. Staying open to whatever happens, focusing on the positive, and being grateful for the entire experience causes your heart and soul to open, nurturing your growth in this universe. HaShem is there in all our moments, and for this alone, we are grateful!

The Road Ahead

As you contemplate your life this time of year, and make the promise to yourself to do better, know that most of us are doing a similar reflection and rededication. Times like this are necessary in life to stop and take stock of where you are going, where you have been, and where you would like to go. Of course, all we can say with certaintude is where we have been. We don't know where we are going. We don't know where the road will take us. We don't know God's plan for us. We can set up expectations and goals and pray for certain outcomes, holding out hope that things will work out in our favor. But we just don't know where we'll end up. How often I have said that something I've experienced is so much better than I ever could have imagined. Or that never in my wildest dreams did I expect to find myself in a certain situation.
What does it take to live a life so open to any and all experiences, that we can just roll with life as it unfolds? Like a surfer on the waves, we react and respond to what comes our way, maintaining balance and calm, using whatever resources we have cultivated for this purpose. As you are contemplating your life this holiday, stop and pause and take stock of all that is good. And where you find yourself lacking, pledge to cultivate whatever seeds are necessary to encourage the growth where you need it to be a more responsive and loving human being.

Fitting In, Breaking Free

I was reading some commentaries on this week's Torah portion, Vayigash, about Jospeh's reunification with his brothers who had sold him into slavery, and his reuniting with his father and beloved brother Benjamin. I got to pondering the story on a more soul-ful level, as in how have I enslaved myself, what beliefs am I holding onto that are keeping me "jailed", and how do I rise above them into a more full and open place within myself?
Joseph becomes a very politically powerful man, but at what cost? His power comes from outside of himself, it is bestowed on him by an even more powerful man, the Pharoah. True, Joseph brought a unique ability with him, the ability to prophecy the future in dreams, which got him noticed by Pharoah. In many ways, we encounter this every day, especially in our work. Someone outside of ourselves recognizes a gift we possess and puts it to good use; that is, we may have a job/career where we can use our God-given talents and the skills we have learned, and become powerful agents of change in our work. But, how often do we "become" our work? Do we get caught up in the perks, and the flash, and veer off our original path? For many people, who they are is defined by what they do and this might be only a piece of who they are. We are always more than we believe we are, and always more capable than we believe we are.
We need to break free of what others think about us, how we fit in, if our beliefs truly fit whom we are allowing ourselves to become. We need to open up to what God thinks about us, and believes us to be, and find the compassion and greatness that is indeed stored within.

Light out of Darkness

The ancient Kabbalists say "There is no light a brilliant as the light which manages to emerge from out of the darkness" (Sefer Ha'Zohar). I endeavor to keep this in mind when I am faced with obstacles and challenges. When I am in pain, physical or emotional, it's difficult to know when that pain will ebb, but knowing that there is indeed a light at the end of that dark tunnel makes the suffering a bit less demoralizing. Opening to the Divine breath as I breathe, fully opening my heart, my lungs, my body seems to open the passage even more, and the pain isn't quite so bad.

Good Heart-Thoughts

In Proverbs 23:7, it is said "As a person thinks in his heart, so he becomes."
We witness this every day in ourselves, and in other people. When the heart is open and soft, we are open, receptive, excited, approachable. When the heart is hard, we can be sullen, angry, even murderous. In times of illness and suffering, if our heart is open, we can even reduce our pain and symptoms. Our heart thinks! Our heart and mind are connected! It's mind over matter, in a way; that is how placebos work to make us feel better. It's also how we can make ourselves sick. When I was young and didn't want to go to school, I could make myself have a bad stomach ache so I could have a day off. How often does our body tell us to stay home when we need a "mental health" day, or, even more importantly, it actually causes us to fall and hurt something so that we'll slow down!
How powerful our heart and mind are when it comes to feeling good or bad. Use this knowledge to further your own healing. Pray to HaShem for the strength you need to keep on going, even when it seems you have no strength left inside you. You are not alone. Not only do we, as a group, pray for you, but The Creator accompanies you every step of your journey. Open your heart, soften it, and your "heart-thoughts" will be good.