A Half Century of Life Experience

In the age of the universe, fifty years is a crumb of a crumb of a crumb of time. In the age of a human, it is more significant. Some folks never make it this far. What I want to know is how did I arrive here so quickly? Emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, have I accumulated enough wisdom to show for 50 years?


Now, physically, that's a different story. There are mornings I awaken and feel twice my age! Getting a personal trainer to work out with first thing Monday mornings sets my week up in a positive way. Sure, the old bod doesn't move as quickly or lithely as it used to, and it takes longer to get going in the morning. If I hurt myself, it takes a little longer to heal. Where I could get all juiced up just thinking about sex, that part takes a little longer to get going, too. At least I'm avoiding the hot flashes, so far. My gynecologist says my cervix is still pink, still vibrant, still pre-menopausal. Oh, joy. My periods stopped ten years ago after a procedure that left everything intact, but made it so I wouldn't have to suffer the horrible pains of menstruation (it saved my life and my marriage). The only way to know I'm in menopause is not cessation of bleeding, as is customary, but observing the other changes that may accompany this next phase of my life. Not having to deal with the crazy periods makes this aging thing a little easier, I think! For once, the cyclical nature of being female will not cause me angst.


But what I cannot stand is receiving mail from AARP. I'm going to send it back to them, telling them they can stick it where the sun doesn't shine, and take me off your list, thank you very much! And, all the so-called experts advising me that now I'm 50, I have to do all these things or I'm going to die. Like, tomorrow. Though I'm taking those vitamins, and having some of those invasive tests, it is even of more dire consequence to do all those things, and quickly. OK, I've scheduled my first colonoscopy in a couple of weeks. If all goes well, that's it for 10 years. Check that off my list. Keep an eye on my weight.... why do the pounds creep up when I'm eating less? And why do men not have it as difficult? Why do I have to look older than I feel? Gravity is not such a great thing when everything heads south. I see a much slimmer person in my mind's eye than looks back at me in the mirror. One of these days, maybe I'll just realize and accept that fact, but not yet. My face is nice. I like the softness of it, sculpted by the wrinkles around my eyes. Several years ago, I did a self-portrait. Mind you, I'm no artist, but I have to say it came really close to illustrating the woman I saw inside myself. It seemed to show my inner strength and serenity.


I think I'm most afraid of this: losing my vitality. I have to get through my head that vitality isn't always due to physical energy or prowess, but more to an inner light and vibrancy. It means staying elastic and flexible, even if the body isn't always cooperative. It means keeping my brain alert by reading, learning, and constant stimulation.



In my mid-30's, I had my "dark night of the soul" and dove to the depths of my inner self. I cast off any beliefs that no longer had any use, and adopted new ones that made sense. It was a long, painful, but ultimately satisfying journey. Perhaps that is why I don't feel any huge push to go through that all over again at this point in my life. The invitation to that journey seems to be knocking on the door at 50...and it isn't Avon calling! It seems that the part of me that's looking for a challenge will need to find it somewhere else.


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The previous paragraphs were begun nearly two years ago, on 09/09/09, just after I celebrated my half-century mark. My husband, son, younger sister and girlfriend plotted and planned this incredible celebration 3 weeks before my birthday and it was a night I will always remember. Set upon the cliffs of Dana Point overlooking the Pacific Ocean on a perfectly gorgeous mid-summer evening, we were graced with a magnificent sunset. Family and friends gathered round, supping and laughing and sharing many delightful moments. On my actual birthday, which occurred on Labor Day weekend, we had a huge party and saluted the just-past-full moon with tequila shots. The next morning, I could not sleep in. The painter was coming to work on a space where he required entrance to the house. I had to let him in, though I felt as if I were still drunk. I think I was, but I went to the gym to work out with my trainer. Was I nuts? I don't know about that, but it was one of my best workouts, other than the fact that about halfway through, my trainer noticed an odd odor emanating from me.... I was sweating tequila. It was a scent that wasn't entirely disgusting, but not entirely pleasant either. Makes for a funny memory.


Since then, I've gone back to school, this time for horticulture. Finally, I have some idea what grows around here. The non-descript yard we originally inhabited nearly 6 years ago has blossomed into an unmanicured but mostly tidy refuge for hummingbirds, lizards, beetles, finches, and even rats. It's a bit overgrown in spots, and there are plants looking to take over the house, but it's cozy with an awesome view. I've made it our own Precious Oasis. I enjoy spending many hours weeding, puttering, planning, trimming, composting. This year, we aquired a patio heater, but haven't used it much. We're hardly ever home. So much to explore around here, places to go, food to eat, people to be with. Yes, I do miss cooking, but I'm not overly fond of my kitchen. In fact, on one of our motorcycle trips, I stumbled upon a cute wooden sign that said "I have a kitchen because it came with the house." Everyone who sees it hanging in aforementioned kitchen gets a good laugh from it.


Back to an institution of higher learning, for my mind. And becoming the Bitch on the Back, for my marriage. Last year, we bought a Harley Davidson Trike. Even got a vanity plate that says, "R TRIKE" as a play on our last name. It gives us something to do together. My body doesn't appreciate it very much, so I have to limit my time, but I love feeling the wind in my face, and going to new places. We've met some nice people, too. They might look like grizzled ex-hippies, but they are down to earth and alot of fun.


Some great things have happened in the last couple of years. Our son met a lovely woman, thanks to his dad who fixed them up. We may be aquiring a daughter by marriage, though it feels that way already. She is fun to be with, intelligent, very caring, and she keeps up with our crazy family. I knew the moment we met that she was the one. Unless my son reads this, he doesn't know that I know that. But, it doesn't matter, because he knows that. We all figure it's a done-deal, or at least we wish for it to happen. They are a great pair. She's brings out the best in him, sides of him I hoped were there, but didn't always experience. He is a gentleman. He is funny. He is motivated. His father and I are humbled by and proud of his accomplishments.


My son's career has provided me with a means of employment that may not be my ideal, but it's serving many needs right now. Depending on my progess with my studies, I hope to be able to take advantage of ever-increasing opportunities to work in a horticultural setting. That foundation and network will be the impetus for launching Precious Oasis in the next several years, in whatever form it will take. At some point, the balance will swing more towards that direction and it will be time to move on. I don't have a lot of time left, so I have to get moving.


In the last 2 years, my parents have undergone dramatic changes. Dad is the stronger one, both physically and mentally. Every time I've seen my mom, she has become more gaunt, and her mind is changing. It's sad, because there's alot of life left to share, and we have limited opportunities. I feel like we're going to miss out on these last years together. Living so far apart, it's not easy making the trip, but I go when I can. It adds up to less than 2-3 weeks a year. I'm not at peace with that. The other part of the frustrating equation is not being there to help out one of my sisters, who lives close to them and is always the one to step in at a moment's notice. How will I know it's time to spend less time working, more time with them, and change my trajectory once again? I am blessed, so overly blessed with the fact that my spouse makes a great living, and I am free to pursue my interests.


I'm also not at peace with possibly losing my faculties in 20-25 years, so I am doing what I can to stay active in mind and body. My husband lets me rest, grudgingly. He has "schpilkis" which is Yiddish for ENERGY. He's like the Eveready Rabbit. In our family, we call it "Schmekkies" which is the term my son coined when he was younger. But, he is determined to keep me young and active for as long as possible. I, too, am determined. I joined a great gym. Took up light jogging. Went back on an eating plan we used 15 years ago where I lost some serious weight. It's one way to keep things lubricated. I've learned one bit of wisdom in 50 years: you don't use it, you most certainly will lose it. It's a great strategy for getting rid of some things, like outworn beliefs. When you just stop thinking about something, it vanishes from your life. When you neglect to pay attention to some things, they fall away, and other, more important things take their place.


I used to be involved in a great quantity of spiritual endeavors, healing work, and passing on of knowledge. That has all taken an extended hiatus. But, I've also gotten involved in other new areas and have gleaned rewards from those experiences. Perhaps it will come full circle, but in a different form than I am familiar with. It's already happening, if I count my sorely-neglected blog. A little more discipline might be necessary. I've had a difficult time finding something I'm passionate about doing, maybe that's why discipline has become a dirty word for me. Hey, I am fairly regular about exercise, I realize that it's an important priority in my life. And, I am going back to school to hone an area of interest. I think back on all the things I've spent time learning and doing in my life: taking sax lessons and playing in a band, all my craft knowledge using various media, getting a masters degree, opening a private practice and getting involved in the community, and being a mom and wife. All have honed my soul and introduced me to incredible people and events.


I sometimes refer to myself as a spoiled bitch. I am most certainly spoiled, but I don't see myself as a mean-spirited, ungrateful, uncaring female. At least, not most of the time. I do have my moments. Blame it on the female maturation cycle that is coursing through my body in its various forms. I'm not always proud of my behavior, so this moodiness tends not to be welcomed with open arms. However, in the words of my deepest heart, I am truly blessed and grateful to be where I am today, surrounded with love, opportunity, and plenty of laughter. I don't want the show to end.

Gaining a bit of perspective on the 2nd half (or so) of life, until we meet again, may you be graced with moments of comfort, wisdom, and the giggles. In spirit....

To Resolute or Not?

It's been nearly a year since I decided to go public with my writing, and formed this blog. It was easy to keep up with it, posting regular installments on all number of topics. Then, summer came. My life exploded, but in a good way. A very busy summer dotted with visitors, travel, a surprise party celebrating a major birthday, and the various day to day events that refused to ebb into a slower pace. I went public with my creative undertakings, putting photos of my mosaic projects online. Yet, everytime I sat down to write, I felt that there wasn't much to say. The words vanished from the ether in my brain, where they'd been swirling around just moments before.

I sat down to start grappling with what it meant to be 50, intending to write something pithy and symbolic. I even received a great book as a guide (Invisible No More: The Secret Lifes of Women Over 50 by Kramer, Fisher, and Peelen) and bought a looseleaf notebook and paper to begin recording my thoughts on all aspects of this milestone. The problem is, I just don't feel 50. I feel as if I'm 37 with experience. OK, maybe 39 with experience. I feel comfortable with myself, though I'd like to lose some weight (who doesn't). I take no shit from anyone (finally). I know where I stand on issues that are meaningful to me. I am still figuring out what I want to do when I grow up, since it's time to pick something else. But, I don't say these statements because I'm now 50; it's just where I was headed anyways. I'm giving myself permission to be more free and allow others to do the same. So what if we don't agree? I go back and forth from giving too much thought to the political climate of late, to getting sick of all the namecalling and bitterness and going on a "news fast" to save my sanity. I'm not happy where things are these days, but am also too lazy to do anything about it, other than sign a few petitions and write some emails to my elected officials.

So, it's now almost a new year, 2010, which looks really cool when it's written down. Numerologically, it's a "3" year. In Kaballah, it stands for Understanding. Three represents trinities: past/present/future, mother/father/child, birth/life/death, in the Christian faith, it is the father/son/holy spirit. Qualities associated with people who are "3's" are versatile, artistic, witty, energetic, lucky, brilliant, sociable, expansive, frivolous, wasteful, outspoken. Not sure where this will guide us, if at all, but for some folks who swear by this, it does guide them into making better decisions in their lives. Which leads me to the topic at hand: making resolutions.

I prefer to call them Goals to Guide Me. I'm not a big one for the long haul, meaning that I might have some goals that go out a few months, some that might even cover a year, but that's the length of it. Who knows where, or (hopefully) if, I'll be around in 5 years? I'd rather keep that list manageable, that way I can have the satisfaction of crossing things off my list as they are completed! It really comes down to what are my priorities with this time ahead, and what do I want to do with my time? Where are my energies best spent? How much time do I want to devote to certain things, and what about those crazy ass things that just pop out of nowhere, demanding all my time and energy?

When I'm sitting here this time 365 days from now, what do I want to see as I look behind me? I see what I accomplished this past year and am proud of myself, but am not one to rest on my laurels (or my behind). A good friend sent me her goals, and I have to say, some of them were certainly pertinent to me and I asked her if I could "co-opt" them for my own use. Though we are at totally different stages in our lives, some things never change and can always use attention.

How do I want to care for myself this year? What needs tending to? How do I want to care for my surroundings? What inside me needs to be nourished? How do I want to care for others in my circle? What inner qualities need to be brought to the forefront, and what can take a rest? What no longer serves me? How do I best cultivate my current relationships, and am I open to new ones?

When I look around at my garden and see what needs pruning in order to grow and be healthy, I can use that same technique for my self. What can I prune, and where do I cut in order to stimulate growth in a way that is natural and healthy? As I'm tending to the garden, I allow my thoughts to wander to the garden that is within myself.

Will I actually sit down and have a long talk with myself before the new year and write down the goals I want to accomplish this year? Yes. It's a promise to myself. I have one life and I don't want to squander it. My energy is precious and is best not wasted. So, even if you find me sitting around in my garden, I'm not wasting time, I'm pruning my inner soul!

Happy pruning, happy goal-making, happy 2010!

Gifted Souls

I came across a beautiful quote that appeared on my facebook page today and it really spoke to me:

Gifted souls enter this world and shine. All that surround them bathe in their light and their beauty. And when they are gone, their light is missed.
Challenged souls enter, stumble and fall. They pick themselves up and fall again. Eventually, they climb to a higher tier, where more stumbling blocks await them. Their accomplishments often go unnoticed—although their stumbling is obvious to all.
But by the time they leave, new paths have been forged, obstacles leveled, and life itself has gained a new clarity for all those yet to enter.
Both are pure souls, G-dly in essence. But while the gifted shine their light from Above, the challenged meet the enemy on its own ground. Any real change in this world is only on their account.
Provided by the Chabad.org - The WEB2.0 portal for everything Jewish

We know both kinds of souls. Some of us are brilliant, and live a charmed life where our greatest wishes, hopes, and dreams seem to come true with almost no effort on our part. We shine our tremendous light on others. We are charismatic, ebullient, almost too bright but always warmly welcomed for the energy we bestow on others.
Then, there's the rest of us. We stumble through life, tripping over ourselves or each other, and hopefully learning as we go. What's sad is that more often we seem to focus on the stumbling part, rather than the goals and knowledge that we have achieved. Injured souls seem to make the most creative people, for it seems that out of their pain comes the most intense beauty. Wounded healers are these stumbling souls, who have come through their pain and through the tunnel, and can pass on their wisdom to others if they are so inclined. These are the souls who truly change the world, as they have been to the depths and have returned with great gifts.
What type of soul are you? Who in your life is one of the Gifted? Who in your life is one of the Challenged? What can you learn from them?

Your New Beginning

Rabbi Nachman's Outpouring of the Soul translated by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan is one of my favorite little books to grab when I need a lift and some reassurance. It's like a pocket book for the soul. I can tuck it into my tote bag when I go to work, open it up to any page, and find solace and serenity in R. Nachman's thoughts and ideas. Today, I opened to #45, A New Beginning:

"When meditating before God it is good to say, "Today I am beginning to attach myself to You." Whenever you meditate you should make a new beginning. Every continued practice depends strongly on its beginning. Even the philosophers say that no matter what one does, the beginning counts for half (italics mine). Therefore, no matter what, one should always make a new beginning. If one's previous devotion was good, now it will be better. If it was not good, what better reason is there to make a new beginning?"

Though the book is about meditation and communicating with God, if your worldview is that all is connected and one with God, then all of your life is like a meditation. New Beginnings are full of promise, hope and faith. Promise in the future that good will come of this; hope that all will go well; and faith that no matter what, God will provide the strength to get through any struggles and challenges. If each day can be a commitment to a new beginning, you are halfway there! Intention, Kavannah, is half the battle towards making a new beginning. Your actions follow your thoughts, and how you perceive something can change, hence you can change your actions towards your self and others in your life.

When I was a counselor, I helped my clients find their "One Degree of Change." Like a ship's compass, if you are one degree off course, over time you will end up in a different place. One small degree can have huge consequences! So it is with change: change one small part of your thought towards a situation and act differently than you have been. Over time, see what happens. The first step is your New Beginning.

Harvests

This week, I learned of the deaths of 2 dear friends of my family, both Jewish, who had obviously hoped to be inscribed in the book of life for another year but sadly it didn't happen that way. They may have been in the midst of their own personal harvesting, and however far they progressed, it was far enough on this earth. Neither person was elderly, so it was somewhat unexpected, but both were dealing with physical issues that ultimately claimed their lives. We just never know when it will happen to us, and that's probably a good thing, so that we can make the choice to live each day as if it were our last.
This week, don't sweat the small stuff, make amends where possible, and promise yourself that you will always do your best, whatever that level of "best" is at the time. All times are good times, some are just more challenging than others. When it gets really difficult, take a deep breath, know that there are people out here praying for you, know that HaShem has your best interests at heart, and that your soul is undergoing growth and tempering. You are preparing yourself for even bigger and better experiences.

"Real-eyes-ing" blessings

I have been tuning into synchronicities this week. Many events are affirming the flow of my life at this point. I "real-eyes" that this is probably always occuring, but I don't always tune into it. My mind is going in 1001 different directions, or I am not in the present moment. Only when I focus and am open to what needs to come in do I see these "coincidences". I know that HaShem is communicating with me and I am listening in those moments.

I also "real-eyes" that I must live my life with integrity, compassion, and courage, for this is what cloaks my desires; and the adage of "watch what you wish for, as you will receive it" plays into the mix as well. As I was writing this the first time, my computer just froze up, which it's been doing lately. Why it did it at that moment, I don't know, but I've been able to recreate my message... which brings me to my next thought, and that is I heard from many of you regarding my "experiment" of last week. It comforts me to know I have much support on this journey!

I have permission to share an email from one of our participants in response to last week's commentary and I print it below.

Yes, always send blessings...always send out blessings and love even if you do not see results in the physical dimension. The nature of man is to receive for self alone, the nature of Hashem is the desire to Share. When we share, we become like Hashem, we are connected to Hashem and receive all the Light we need. As we all share our light with others, even bad drivers...smile..our light within shines brighter as those poisonous dark feelings are transformed to Light. This is what it means that collectively we are all sparks of light of the Messiah. As we all send out love and blessings we reveal light into the world and it is this Light that transforms the darkness in others and ourselves. It is then that our veil (made up of our impurities that separates our flesh from our soul) becomes thinner to eventually disappear and we are no longer separated from Hashem, we are ONE, we are back in the Garden of Eden where the energy is no longer tainted, it is but Pure.Perhaps that is why the first letter that begins the Torah is the letter BET, meaning Blessing.
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Oy vey.... whining and complaining

In this week's Torah portion, B'shallach, we read of the Israelites flight from Egypt. One of the things that stands out for me is the fact they complain incessantly about the heat, the walk, the lack of water, the taste of the water when they get it, the lack of food, the manna isn't good enough, on and on. We laughed about it in class, but at the heart of it, it wasn't so laughable. Sure, we as Jews have a bit of a stereotype when it comes to complaining, and there are some jokes I've heard that make fun of this facet of life. But why do we complain? Why aren't we grateful for whatever it is that is given to us?
We complain about our bodies, we complain about work, we complain about our spouses, or children, or parents, or friends. For some people who have made an art form out of it, nothing is ever right. Nothing is ever perfect, or lives up to our expectations of what it should be.
Judaism makes a big deal out of distinctions. There are many boundaries we don't cross, and many that we do. It seems to me that everything in life can't be holy, it can't be perfect, for we're not in Gan Eden anymore. So, can it be that the things we complain about are the things that haven't achieved holiness yet? Or we don't see its holiness because it's obscured by pain, or ego, or something else that clouds our vision?
Maybe the fact that my body aches when I wake up is just a fact of life in growing older. But at least I woke up (Modah ani l'fanecha). And I have another chance to make this world a better place. Our bodies are imperfect packages for our souls, but HaShem made them that way for a reason. It's a mystery to me, but that's ok.
The next time I complain, I'm also going to ask myself that whatever I'm complaining about might not have achieved its holy purpose, but eventually it will!
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Gematria-Hebrew Numerology

I love the study of Gematria. To those of you who are unfamiliar with it, each Hebrew letter is assigned a numerical value, and when words are composed, one can add up the values of the letters to come up with new words and meanings, as well as coming up with other words that have the same value. I have some nifty books, one of which is by Benjamin Blech called The Secrets of Hebrew Words (Jason Aronson 1996). My copy has a photo on the cover of a Torah scribe with long white beard, working diligently on his scroll.
The word that stood out for me today is "Soul" or Neshamah in Hebrew. On page 130, Mr. Blech asks: "Why must the soul be sent down to earth if, as tradition teaches us, Elohai neshamah she-natata bi tehorah hi, My God, the soul you have given me is pure (this is part of the blessing said when awakening in the morning). What need has it for the long journey of life before it returns to its source?"
When this is examined using Gematria, NeShaMaH is SheMoNaH, or the number 8. This number stands for the covenent of bris, circumcision, the partnership of God and humans. God created the world in seven days, and did as much as S/He would do, then left the rest for humanity to carry out. Through this specific effort, humans would EARN their place in eternity.
The effort entails studying God's will as transmitted through MiShNaH (Oral Law), and through the MiShNaH, NeShaMaH/soul will succeed in extending God's 7 days of creation through SheMoNaH and beyond.
Quite clever, don't you think?!
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Everything Happens for a Reason

On this list, we deal with joy as well as suffering. Our prayers bring comfort to our loved ones, and we hope the fact that we are all joined in this together helps to ease their suffering. Our work is healing work, and that brings me to mention a book I have been reading about healing, called Everything Happens for a Reason by Mira Kirshenbaum. She is a psychotherapist from Massachusetts who has helped many people find the meaning in their pain and suffering. It has always been my belief that inside one's greatest pain is one's greatest gift. Perhaps you grew up with "less than ideal" parents, or in a horrible living situation. Or, you're dealing with a health crisis right now, or some other life-changing event has occurred. How we face such circumstances can make us stronger, wiser, happier, and closer to realizing our soul's true purpose in our lifetime. It reminds me of Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning and how he managed to survive and thrive during the Holocaust by finding the meaning in his suffering. Kirshenbaum's book provides many questions to ask of yourself to see which of the 10 meanings might fit your present circumstances. She asked hundreds of people many questions and discovered that their responses fell into 10 basic meanings; feeling at home in the world, self acceptance, letting go of fear, uncovering hidden talents, and living with a sense of mission are just a few of the reasons she uncovered.What it boils down to is this: you have been given the gift of a life. Don't squander or waste it. The experiences and trials that test you are there for a reason. The people or events that have been difficult in your life can teach you something very important about yourself if you open the door to them and give them a meaning for your life. Your soul is on a journey to return ever more purified and refined, and the meaning you make of your circumstances can help bring that purpose to light, to be even better and more evolved than you were before the moment when your life changed.

Fitting In, Breaking Free

I was reading some commentaries on this week's Torah portion, Vayigash, about Jospeh's reunification with his brothers who had sold him into slavery, and his reuniting with his father and beloved brother Benjamin. I got to pondering the story on a more soul-ful level, as in how have I enslaved myself, what beliefs am I holding onto that are keeping me "jailed", and how do I rise above them into a more full and open place within myself?
Joseph becomes a very politically powerful man, but at what cost? His power comes from outside of himself, it is bestowed on him by an even more powerful man, the Pharoah. True, Joseph brought a unique ability with him, the ability to prophecy the future in dreams, which got him noticed by Pharoah. In many ways, we encounter this every day, especially in our work. Someone outside of ourselves recognizes a gift we possess and puts it to good use; that is, we may have a job/career where we can use our God-given talents and the skills we have learned, and become powerful agents of change in our work. But, how often do we "become" our work? Do we get caught up in the perks, and the flash, and veer off our original path? For many people, who they are is defined by what they do and this might be only a piece of who they are. We are always more than we believe we are, and always more capable than we believe we are.
We need to break free of what others think about us, how we fit in, if our beliefs truly fit whom we are allowing ourselves to become. We need to open up to what God thinks about us, and believes us to be, and find the compassion and greatness that is indeed stored within.

Psalms & Comfort

I often turn to the Psalms when I need comfort, support, focus, and straightening out. I always find just what I need. Today, I offer you a short, straightforward, and potent Psalm, from 118, v. 5: "In distress, I've called out to God, and God answered me by setting me free."
Setting me free...... free from whatever encumbers me in my own mind and heart, so that I can soar and be more truly "me" and let my soul shine.

What encumbers you right now? What is in your control, what it not? What can be changed? What can set you free? What prayers do you offer up to God to help you recognize where you need to be freer? What does God say to you to set you free?
Meditating on clouds is a great way to feel weightless, and can help to free you from pain, whether that pain be physical or emotional. It clears your head and heart, enabling you to see your situation more clearly. Sometimes, I imagine that I am flying, soaring higher than the birds, seeing my situation using the eagle's vision. The perspective aids in helping me feel more free, and certainly strengthens me.

Flex Your Soul Muscles

I came across a thought that I saw on a greeting card: "All times are good times. Difficult times help us grow. Happy times help us enjoy." How true that is. So often we greet the challenges with a heavy heart, plodding through them, without an end in our sight. Then, we come through the other side and look back, with our 20-20 hindsight, realizing how far we have come, and how much we have grown in the process. But, what if we just looked at the difficult times in a different way? If we looked at these moments in our lives as a chance to flex our "soul" muscles? That it doesn't matter how long it takes us, we are growing all along the way. I go to a gym to flex my physical muscles and use them so that I stay in shape and keep the juices flowing. The same goes for our mental muscles/capacity; we keep our brains active by staying engaged in life. Why not approach keeping our soul capacity strong by looking at how we view those challenges and changing our behavior. Embrace those moments when they seem insurmountable by reaching out to others, praying, eating well, sleeping enough, and being in nature to find the comfort we need as we meet those difficult times. The Psalms offer many opportunities to pray and ask for HaShem's help; all the better done under a tree, listening to the birds as they carry our prayers upwards.
Lighten your heart by shedding your burden, a little at a time.

Body & Soul

The body is the home of your soul in your lifetime. It is the place where a part of the soul that is you right now resides. It's always amazed me that the conatiner for this soul is a finite, breakable vessel and doesn't last forever, where the soul is eternal. Does that mean our souls have occupied other physical bodies at other times? There are Jewish people who believe that. Kaballists believe in reincarnation, and that the part of our soul we need to "work on" to perfect will return in another physical vessel until our souls are perfected in each lifetime, and we then reside in the Eternal with HaShem and All That Is, in the No-Thing-Ness.
How can we keep our soul containers in the best shape, even when outside forces may harm our bodies? Besides eating well, resting, exercising, and all that, we can keep a positive frame of mind, deal with the things that seem to prevent us from progressing, dance, laugh, and spend time in nature. Every moment, even the unpleasant ones, is necessary for our souls to grow and reach perfection. Flex your soul's muscles, express yourself, move, sing, shout your joy. And don't forget to express your thanks for all that is in your lifetime.